1. TITLE
Skye’s
Entry
2.
SETTING
Hotel
California
Note:
Skye’s voice is like Ryan’s, but deeper (so use Old Man and speak an octave
lower for his lines)
3. SKYE
I was minding the temple alone today when the portal opened.
4.
ROSEMARY
That was so random... You aren't really that clever, are you?
5.
EPIPHANY
[Tell me more about the security
specs on this portal.]
6. EVRYN
I assume it was a random portal that the intruder opened, not a
specific portal-able area with security specs.
7.
EPIPHANY
[That would have been clearer if
he'd used "a" instead of "the".]
8. EVRYN
Corri wrote his lines and you're expecting him to be clear?
9.
EPIPHANY
[A girl can dream. Sort of.]
10. OREGANO
~ I DREAMED A DREAM OF TIME GONE BYYYYY~
11. SKYE
The Maya-Hone came through, but he seemed to be out of
sorts.
12.
EPIPHANY
[This is my caring face.]
13. SKYE
There were tears in his eyes and it seemed as though he had been
through hell.
14. ROSEMARY
Welcome to Hotel California.
15.
EPIPHANY
["You can check out any time
you like, but you can never leave."]
[Kind of like this show.]
16. DREPANON, in the
Audience
No, that's Hellevator.
17. SIGYN
Are you high?
18. DREPANON
I have to be. I'm sitting next to you.
19. SKYE
He looked up at me and I almost broke under the waves of guilt I
felt when he locked eyes with me.
20.
EPIPHANY
[Still my caring face.]
21. MAHEONE
"Where is she?"
22. SKYE
he asked, his voice breaking.
23. ROSEMARY
We were never together!
24. TOKIOMI
Rosemary, you dated Drepanon. I don't think you get to defend
your taste in men ever.
25. ROSEMARY
That's funny, coming from you.
26. SKYE
"Um… I think Drake took her
flying today. You're hurting, My Lord. Please. Let me try to
ease your pain,"
I said, moving towards him.
27.
EPIPHANY
[Please tell me that Corri's need
to have Akuma be the center of everything is going to override her usual
"magic sex fixes everything" M.O.]
28. MAHEONE
"No,"
29.
EPIPHANY
[ I hate you.]
30. SKYE
--he said, looking down.
31. MAHEONE
"After what I did to him, I don't deserve it."
32.
EPIPHANY rolls eyes
[Oh boy, here we go.]
33. SKYE
"Did something happen at the Day of Everlast of your
bonded?" I asked cautiously.
34. EVRYN
Nothing we want to know about!
35. MAHEONE
"He's not my bonded and after what I did the other night…
36.
EPIPHANY
[Translation: BAWWWWWWWWWWW]
37. MAHEONE
He can never be my bonded.
38. ROSEMARY
Really.
39. MAHEONE
Not after what I caused,"
40. SKYE
--he said, almost breaking down.
41. EVRYN
No! Bad Corri! Bad!
42. SKYE
I suddenly heard several sets of footsteps but the first brought
in my niece Akumano.
43.
EPIPHANY
[Your security response time is
abysmal.]
44. EVRYN
They live in a village in Bass Ackwardsopia. What security
response time?
45.
EPIPHANY
[Point taken.]
46. ROSEMARY
I take it you mean that metaphorically? Also, why don't you
care?
47. EVRYN
Because no one cares?
48.
EPIPHANY, still deadpan
[But this IS my caring face.]
49. SKYE
She took one look at the maharus that so often came to visit us
and flung herself into his arms.
50. ROSEMARY
I have looked death in the face and said those words. No one
should be afraid of death but at the same time they should be very afraid.
51.
EPIPHANY
[ I'd say that I used to be afraid
of death, but, really, we were vacationing in fucking AUSTRALIA. No-one who
fears death does that.]
52. EVRYN
I'm sure Davy Jones would be very dissatisfied about that.
53. SKYE
It was like the minute she was there he broke.
54. ROSEMARY
My bot heart leaps with joy at the approval in your words.
55. SKYE
Harsh sobs were ripped from his throat as he clung to her and
cried.
56.
EPIPHANY
[A grown man sobbing on the
shoulder of a little girl?]
[ I mean, no offense to certain
parties who know who they are, but, seriously, Corri?]
[This is what you're going with?]
57. EVRYN
It could be much, much worse.
58. ROSEMARY
I never implied that I thought that. I'm sorry if it came across
that way.
59. EVRYN
No, I think that.
Don’t co-opt my thoughts.
60. ROSEMARY
The rudest of bots.
61. SKYE
Torin, Dante, and Drake showed up not soon after and stopped in
shock at the sight of our demi-god crying.
62.
EPIPHANY
[Are you sure that's why they were
shocked?]
63. SKYE
Without asking I pulled out my pearl and began to calm him by
focusing my calm emotions into him.
64.
EPIPHANY
[You know, that's a crime, like,
everywhere.]
65. EVRYN
What, copying Jasper from Twilight?
66.
EPIPHANY
[Using empathic powers to influence
someone without their consent.]
67. EVRYN
So that would be a 'yes', then.
68. SIGYN
Wait, so that’s bad, then? Huh. Who knew? Well, luckily, what
the feds don’t know can’t hurt me~
69. ROSEMARY
Exactly, we are both busy, so we cannot possibly be together in
real life as boyfriend and girlfriend tomorrow.
70.
EPIPHANY, Spock eyebrow
[What.]
71. ROSEMARY
I'm a potato. SPUD UP!
72.
EPIPHANY
[ I can't wait to see the show
YOU'RE watching.]
73. ROSEMARY, off key
~ SPUD UP, POWER TATERS!~
74. SERLEINA
~ NA, NA, NA, NA~
75. SKYE
It seemed to work, for his sobs began to ease up.
76.
EPIPHANY
[Because Akuma is just so very
amazing?]
77. ROSEMARY
Yes, that's exactly it.
78. EVRYN
Or possibly because Skye's emotion mind-rape is just so very
effective. Because he's a Corri Sue.
79.
EPIPHANY
[Oh.]
80. SKYE
"Drake, get the women to prepare a light meal for Our Lord
and warm drinks.”
81. EVRYN
Um, no, Skye, you should make the sandwich your own damn self,
unless your cooking is just so very toxic that no-one would want to eat it
ever.
82. SKYE
“Dante, please get them to make ready his rooms.”
83. EVRYN
Skye, please words in the proper order use. Also, why does
quote-unquote "Maheone" need more than one room? Also, why can't you
do that yourself?
84. SIGYN
W-wait, this Skye person, he knows that man?
85. OREGANO, to Dante
Why don't you shove a red-hot poker up your ass? You think
you're pretty hot, so make it so.
86. DANTE
Hey! I thought we were done with that!
87. OREGANO, Shrek
voice
You thought wrong!
88. SKYE
“Torin, please go get the Exodica Memoriam.”
89.
EPIPHANY
[That certainly doesn't sound like
it'll come up later.]
90. EVRYN
TOTALLY not a plot point!
91. SERLEINA
Actually, it's come up already.
92.
EPIPHANY
[Remember my caring face?]
[This is still it.]
93. ROSEMARY
Were you real in the past and know you are not real?
94. OVD
Rosemary, no spoilers!
95. SKYE
"I think Our Lord would like a helping hand," I said
as I reached down to help him up; the people did not need to see him like this.
96. ROSEMARY
I know you aren’t smart. You don't need to prove it.
97. SKYE
Of course, a child's love can make things happen that nothing
else can.
98.
EPIPHANY
[ I need an adult.]
99. OVD
Why? You're not capable of love...are
you?
100. EVRYN
I don't think that's what she thought he meant.
101. SIGYN
I think we ALL need an adult. Tokiomi and Drepanon don't count!
102. DREPANON
Good. I don't want to be your adult.
103. ROSEMARY
*yawns* Interesting.
104. SKYE
Not only did my angel help get him to their rooms but also made
him eat and then rest.
105. EPIPHANY
rolls eyes
[Wow. She can perform simple
tasks.]
106. SIGYN
She's, like, four, so...
107. REIYA
Why exactly are they putting these responsibilities on a child
her age?
108. SIGYN
Must be because she's a girl. Remember how Skye explicitly told
the WOMEN to tend to Maheone?
109. EPIPHANY
[They also apparently have no
concept of "age-appropriateness", if you recall the previous
episode.]
110. SIGYN
I'd rather not, thank you.
111. SKYE
I also noticed that he seemed to be wounded soul-wise.
112. ROSEMARY
Death is no excuse for disobedience.
113. SIGYN
Metal as fuck, Ro.
114. SKYE
I cannot say what I found didn't shock me; however, I will not
reveal his secrets.
115. EPIPHANY
[Obvious attempt to be mysterious
is obvious.]
116. ROSEMARY
I'm sorry, but that's just the way I'm made. I'm not doing it to
annoy you in any way.
117. EVRYN
But, Ro, you’re legitimately mysterious, not annoying and
trying-too-hard-to-be-mysterious.
118. SKYE
When he awoke several hours later, he was doing
better.
119. ROSEMARY
Well I can try to be generic if you like, but like you, it won’t
be interesting.
120. SKYE
He sat up in the bed and smiled when he saw my angel next to
him.
121. EPIPHANY
[The pedo vibes off this Skye guy
are seriously starting to creep me out.]
122. ROSEMARY
I would agree with you!
123. SKYE
He smoothed her hair and gave her a kiss on the cheek before
noticing me.
124. ROSEMARY
That seems to support the fact that this is a waste of time, and
you should move on to bigger and better things.
125. EPIPHANY
[ I wish I could.]
126. EVRYN
As do I.
127. MAHEONE, softly
“I wasn't sure if I was ‘gong’ to the right place or
not."
128. EVRYN
Well, you certainly weren’t “bell” to the right place.
129. MAHEONE
"It was a relief to see I managed to get here."
130. ROSEMARY
I can recommend a travel destination, if you don't mind dry
heat.
131. DREPANON
Please don't. Filing restraining orders is exhausting.
132. SIGYN
Good news for me!
133. SKYE
"My angel sensed you come through and came to greet
you.
She seems in tune to your aura.”
134. ROSEMARY
Again, that didn't make sense at all in the context of what we
are talking about.
135. EPIPHANY
[What you're watching isn't making
sense, either?]
136. ROSEMARY
Nothing is perfect. Therefore, Xemnas is the master of
perfection.
137. SKYE
“Must be from the feedings," I said softly and handed him a
cup of tea with lavender to relax him.
"You seem to be a little better."
He accepted the tea.
138. ROSEMARY
*yawns* Oh it’s very interesting. More interesting than you
know.
139. EVRYN
Stop taunting us, Ro.
140. ROSEMARY
RO, RO, FIGHT THE POW-AH!
141. MAHEONE
"I only wish.
142. ROSEMARY
BELIEVE IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES IN YO—oh. Wait. Not yOU.
143. MAHEONE
“I … did something terrible to him.”
144. EPIPHANY
[ I'd ask if you made him listen to
stupid stories, but Corri wrote this, so we all know what it was.]
145. EVRYN
No, making people listen to stupid stories is what he does to
US.
146. MAHEONE
a) “To my Falcon.
b) And he doesn't even know what I did."
147. SKYE
I looked at him, a bit shocked.
148. ROSEMARY
Here is the candle to light you to bed. Here comes a chopper to
chop off your head.
149. SIGYN
Top ten reasons to read 1984.
150. SKYE
"You wiped his memory?
Was it really that bad?"
151. ROSEMARY
Yes.
152. SKYE
He nodded and almost began crying again had it not been for my
angel.
153.
BABY AKUMA
"Impare… no cry…"
154. SKYE
--she said, pulling on his arm.
155. ROSEMARY
Do you speak only with me?
156. EVRYN
And ignore everyone else?
157. ROSEMARY
I wish.
158. EVRYN
Yeah, so do the rest of us.
159. SKYE
She still didn't know this common language between us, so I was
rather amazed that she was able to say anything in this tongue.
160. EPIPHANY
[Funny thing: Very small children?
Amazing at language acquisition.]
161. SKYE
She scooted closer and gave him a kiss on the cheek and hugged
him close.
162. ROSEMARY
No, no, no, let’s go fly some kites!
163.
BABY AKUMA
"Soon be happy.
164. ROSEMARY
Yes, flying kites makes me happy.
165.
BABY AKUMA
Impare and Akuma go home."
166. MAHEONE
"Yes,"
167. SKYE
--he said, trying to hold back his tears.
168. MAHEONE
"We will go home soon.
169. ROSEMARY
OK - you start.
170. MAHEONE
Now go get cleaned up and have some breakfast."
171. SKYE
She nodded and ran from the room as soon as she was off the
bed.
No doubt going to ask Dante for candy beforehand.
172. ROSEMARY
I'm sorry, I cannot understand drivel that your bot creator
wrote for you to say.
173. SKYE
I went over to the table to grab the Exodica Memoriam and handed
it to the Maya-Hone.
He gave me a curious look.
174. ROSEMARY
Is that important?
175. EVRYN
No, nothing Skye says is ever important.
176. EPIPHANY
[Especially not the Plot Point Book
with the Stupid Name(tm).]
177. SKYE
"Sometimes it helps to get things off your
chest.
You can write about what happened in here.”
178. ROSEMARY
I'm truthfully going to write my own 'bible', if that girl Akumu
doesn’t beat me to it.
179. SKYE
“I will allow it this once if only to bring you peace for my
angel."
180. MAHEONE
"Why do you call her that?"
181. SKYE
he asked suddenly.
"Because her name Akumano means Darkest Death Angel.”
182. EPIPHANY
[That's a terrible name, by the
way.]
183. EVRYN
It's probably the second-worst name on the show so far.
184. DREPANON
Juuuuust wait.
185. EVRYN
Also, I thought her name meant "Bloody Death Bagel."
186. CIN
Yeah, that's what I thought, too!
187. EVRYN
Did you know, my mum owns this trendy nightclub? After she saw
your ad-lib in the first episode, she put "Bloody Death Bagel" on the
menu as a special.
188. SKYE
“However you and she have shortened it, making her name Dark
Angel.”
189. ROSEMARY
"Blood Bagel".
190. SKYE
“Therefore, she is my angel.”
191. ROSEMARY
Your bagel.
192. SKYE
“Even though everyone else will see her only as a spoiled child
because you chose her, we as her family see her as the angel that we would
never have had if it had not been for you," I said softly.
193. EPIPHANY
[Translation: Akuma is so
sparkly-special!]
194. ROSEMARY
Akuma is a glitterbagel with extra anime sauce.
195. OVD
... I'm not even mad.
196. MAHEONE
"I see. And I meant to ask but I was afraid to: What
is it that she calls me?"
197. SKYE
"Impare?" I asked, a bit caught off-guard.
198. MAHEONE
a)
"Yes. It's not
'father,' is it?"
b)
DREPANON
No, that’s what she
calls *me*.
c)
CIN
Wait, what?
d)
DREPANON
Remember Halloween?
e)
CIN
Oh. Dude, gross.
f)
SIGYN
*laughs awkwardly*
199. SKYE
I shook my head, trying to translate the word into the
common tongue.
"Baer is father.
Paer is mother.
Impare is… guardian.”
200. ROSEMARY
Not really.
201. CIN
Yeah, that implies that when Akuma called Bastion
"Pare" that she was calling him a guard or something, right?
202. ROSEMARY
I don't spend my time interpreting the words of glitterbagels to
failed Tupperwares, but that's just me. You can do what you like.
203. SKYE
“She's calling you her guardian. Probably because you have
always kept her safe.”
204. EPIPHANY
[Thank you, Captain Obvious, for
telling us what guardians do.]
205. EVRYN
Wait, he hasn't always kept her safe.
206. OVD
Evryn! No spoilers!
207. EVRYN
Oh come on! He mated her to a bloody tiger!
208. OVD
EVRYN!
209. EPIPHANY
[How are we allowed to have that in
ANY timeslot?]
210. OVD
I'm banging the producer's mother.
211. EVRYN
Also, it's not even a spoiler, since we just found out about it
like TWELVE HOURS AGO.
212. SKYE
Not many will ever hear that name.
It is a great boner."
213. EVRYN
Akuma has a what?
214. SKYE
Great HONOR!
215. EVRYN
That’s not what I heard.
216. SKYE
Yeah, well, someone’s messing with the cue cards again!
217. JEPH
[ It is a great honor.]
218. EVRYN
No they’re not! You’re just a half-wit!
219. EPIPHANY
[And possibly a pedophile]
220. JEPH
[And the half-wit pedophile has a great boner.]
221. EVRYN
I don’t see anything.
222. JEPH
[That’s why it’s great.]
223. MAHEONE
"Then why don't I feel so great, Skye?"
224. EVRYN
Because Skye’s with Dante and therefore his great boner will
never be inside you?
225. SKYE
That’s not funny!
226. JEPH
[Oh, that’ll be funny for another three and two-thirds years or
so.]
227. OVD
Jeph! What have I told Evryn and
Rosemary about spoilers?
228. JEPH
[Oh, does that apply to me too?]
229. EVRYN, ROSEMARY, and OVD
Yes!
230. EVRYN
Especially with spoilers that are that oddly specific!
231. SKYE
I dropped my cup and it shattered to the
floor.
He never called any of us by name before.
232. ROSEMARY
Is Max your father?
233. EVRYN
I think Max is the Cooking Guy, actually.
234. SKYE
Not even my angel.
235. ROSEMARY
Well, you should change your name. Paul is an amazing name.
236. SKYE
He always called her his gift.
237. EPIPHANY
[You both seem to have an aversion
to using her actual name.]
238. SIGYN
In their defense, it's a pretty fucking stupid name.
239. EPIPHANY
[Yes, but THEY don't know that.]
240. SKYE
Torin… uh, Torin…
241. EVRYN
That’s not her name.
242. SKYE
I KNOW!
243. OVD
What seems to be the problem, Skye?
244. SKYE
The script just ends there. I don’t… I don’t know what to
say.
245. EVRYN
Wow. You really fail at life.
246. SKYE
Oh yeah? Well maybe I should just die then! Would that make you
happy?
247. EVRYN
Yeah, whatever.
248. ROSEMARY
That’d be fine with us.
249. FIVE HOURS LATER…
250. SKYE is suspended by a bar hammered
through his ankles, tarred and feathered, and lowered into a tank of piranhas.
251. EVRYN
Wow. He really went all-out for that suicide.
252. ROSEMARY
I don’t think that was a suicide.
253. EVRYN
It wasn’t the crazy angry short guy who’s boffing Akuma and
Orion and keeps piranhas as pets, was it?
254. ROSEMARY
I don’t think he’s subtle enough for something like that.
255. EVRYN
You call that subtle?!
256. PAN back to Skye
257. ROSEMARY
More subtle than Illybrius.
258. EVRYN
Come to think of it, you’re right. I wonder who’d do such
a thing? I mean, Skye did give pretty terrible exposition, but he wasn’t really
any worse than anyone else on the show.
259. CUT to Akuma’s room
260. AKUMA
HOW DARE HE MOCK MY GENITALS AND TAKE ATTENTION AWAY FROM
ME?! And now he’s dead… My uncle’s dead… I have no one to go on about how
sparkly-special I was as a baby…
BAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!
261. DREPANON
Well, at least she's good for something...
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