1.
11/05/08, 10:00 PM (Caught in a Badfic)
2.
[enter DREPANON]
3. OVD
I thought we got rid of you.
4. DREPANON
You got rid of me while you were filming the last bit, sure, but it
doesn't take that long to buy out the farmer's market's entire supply of all my
favorite foods and then come back.
5. OVD
This is a simultaneous episode!
6. DREPANON
Is it being FILMED simultaneously? No? I didn't think so.
7. DREPANON sits down in the Audience.
8. TOKIOMI
Can you please not?
9. SIGYN
Tokiomi, shut up.
10.
DREPANON,
sotto voce
So... you're into orgasm-denial?
11.
SIGYN,
blushing
I--
12.
TOKIOMI
She's not answering that! It's none of your business.
13.
CIN
Actually, it kind of is, since she's been propositioning him basically
nonstop.
14.
TOKIOMI
She's still 17, I'm still her legal guardian, and *I* am saying that
it's not happening.
15.
CIN
I'm, like, super-glad you're not MY guardian, because you're a total
killjoy.
16.
SIGYN
He's got this weird thing against Drepanon for some reason. I don't get
it. He likes literally everyone else except Drepanon and Meta. He actually
thinks Casey Anthony is "just misunderstood" and "probably had a
good reason."
17.
CIN
Seriously?
18.
DREPANON
Did I say I was planning to fuck her, Tokiomi?
19.
TOKIOMI
It doesn't matter, because I am not letting that happen while she's
still a minor.
20.
DREPANON
Jealous?
21.
TOKIOMI
What the FUCK. Of course not. Though may I point out, your sudden
interest in her is very uncharacteristic.
22.
DREPANON
How? I mean, it's not like this is the first time I've thought about her
sex life with my son. A girl like her gets close enough and maybe you can't
help but imagine how she'd be with you.
23.
REIYA
Yeah, like “If you like my son, I’m twice as fun!” Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
24.
CIN
What the actual—
25.
TOKIOMI
No, some of us don't need to imagine things like that.
26.
DREPANON
You told me as much at the Halloween party.
27.
TOKIOMI
... are you jealous?
28.
[enter ILLYBRIUS and ORION]
29.
OVD
Finally!
30.
ILLYBRIUS
Sorry, we just got back from the farmer's market and they were totally
cleaned out.
31.
[/agequit EPIPHANY]
32.
LIGHTS OUT and the following is heard
33.
(Orion)
Please.
34.
(Illybrius)
Orion, I want you with me. I hate hurting you, I really
do, but this seems to be the only way.
35.
(Orion)
Please. I feel dizzy. I need to cum. Please.
36.
(Illybrius)
And I need you to care for me.
37.
(Sigyn)
Ooh, sexual blackmail! I'd take notes if I could see
anything.
38.
(Drepanon)
Wouldn't work with me.
39.
(Tokiomi)
Once again, she's NOT going to be with you.
40.
(Orion)
Please...
41.
(Illybrius)
Now, you were lying when you said you did. This is your
punishment.
42.
(Orion)
Pyric... dizzy... need...
43.
(Evryn)
Use. Full. Sentences. Full stop. And don't use your
bullshit Priapic demonism to get him to let you orgasm. We all know that's just
Corri throwing a cheap tantrum.
44.
(Illybrius)
Convince me.
45.
(Evryn)
Do we really need to convince you that Corri’s throwing a
tantrum?
46.
(Orion)
Please.
47.
(Evryn)
Yeah, that’s not very convincing.
48.
(Reiya)
He said the magic word!
49.
(Illybrius)
Offer me a good enough price-- and follow through-- and I
might let you.
50.
(Orion)
I'll never disobey you again, please...
51.
(Evryn)
This isn't even about obedience, you dolt.
52.
(Marie)
Really? You think
we’re gonna buy that?
53.
(Illybrius)
How do I know you're not lying about that as well? That
you won't forget?
54.
(Orion)
Pain... burns... dizzy...
55.
(Rosemary)
This is my caring voice.
56.
(Illybrius)
You hurt me, now I hurt you. You broke my heart, Orion,
and I want you to know that whatever pain you're feeling right now is NOTHING
compared to the pain you caused me.
57.
(Sigyn)
Okay, I really like him as a character. He's so
relatable!
58.
(Drepanon)
You would think that.
59.
(Sigyn)
Am I wrong?
60.
(Drepanon)
...
61.
(Sigyn)
Am I?
62.
(Orion)
Lee... pyric... can die... please... hurts... chest...
63.
(Reiya)
Oh noooo, nobody caaaaaares.
64.
(Marie)
His heart can
stop if he doesn’t orgasm? That is the stupidest fucking thing.
65.
(Evryn)
Literally!
66.
(Marie)
I mean, we all
know he actually feeds on emotionally abusing people, but his bullshit is … I
wouldn’t even call it Grade C bullshit. It’s just so low-quality.
67.
(Serleina)
AWWWWW YEAAAAAHHHHH!!! EVINDUB’S DECEIVER OF FOOLS, FOR
ALL YOUR QUALITY NEEDS!
68.
(Illybrius)
Again, convince me.
69.
(Orion)
You're killing me.
70.
(Evryn)
No he's not. Corri's just throwing one of her very
transparent tantrums.
71.
(Illybrius)
Orion, if I let you cum, will you marry me?
72.
(Evryn)
Eliciting an engagement under duress should nullify the
legality of the marriage, just so you know.
73.
(Marie)
That's out of
nowhere, too, Illybrius.
74.
(Sigyn)
No, it makes sense. He doesn't want Orion to leave him,
and he thinks by getting him legally tied to him, then—
...
Well. Some people think that way, anyhow.
75.
(Orion)
Pleeeeaaase. No... Akuma. She... no... yes. Please.
Please. Yes.
76.
(Illybrius)
Now I'm confused.
77.
(Marie)
Join the club.
78.
(Orion)
Yes. Let me.
79.
(Evryn)
No! You’re not allowed to join the club. We are
gatekeeping membership. We do that now.
80.
(Drepanon)
Is that how you got Meta to agree to let
you take our name?
81.
(Sigyn)
No, of course not! I asked him if I could, he thought
about it for a moment, and he told me I could, but that he might want to talk
to you and Nevean first! And then the next week he decided it was okay and that
you didn't have to know about me filing the paperwork.
82.
(Illybrius)
Very well. You may cum.
83.
WHITE TEXT
Illybrius releases Orion's hands and
rides him again.
84.
(Orion)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
85.
(Illybrius)
I didn't mean to nearly kill you.
86.
(Marie)
Thank you for
delivering that line with all of the deadpan it deserves.
87.
(Illybrius)
You're welcome~
88.
(Orion)
Need. Please.
89.
(Illybrius)
I told you, you could.
90.
(Marie)
What’s keeping
Illybrius from walking away from this whiny dipshit and letting him either
handle himself or die out of spite?
91.
(Sigyn)
What does co-dependency mean to you?
92.
(Marie)
Right, okay.
93.
(Orion)
Touch me.
94.
(Evryn)
How are you not touching if you're fucking? And why is
Orion so needy during sex? Seriously?
95.
(Sigyn)
Some people prefer a chest-to-chest or chest-to-back
connection with their partners, to further the illusion of intimacy.
96.
(Marie)
This is Onion
we’re talking about. Of course it’s an illusion.
97.
(Evryn)
You can say that about any of the Corris, really.
98.
(Drepanon)
Interesting choice of words.
99.
(Sigyn)
Please. Like YOU'RE capable of emotional intimacy.
100.
(Illybrius)
Touch you where?
101.
(Orion)
Please, master, need. Hurts. Hard.
102.
(Evryn)
That is not an answer to the question.
103.
(Marie)
That is not a
body part.
104.
WHITE TEXT
Illybrius purrs and strokes Orion.
105.
(Marie)
Wait I thought
they were already doing anal.
106.
WHITE TEXT
a.
Orion cums hard.
b. Illybrius
smiles and keeps riding Orion.
107.
(Marie)
Does
"riding" not mean what I think it means here?
108.
(Evryn)
Firstly, thinking about it is a mistake. Secondly, you
made me think about it, so thanks for that.
109.
WHITE TEXT
a.
Orion is dazed.
b. Illybrius
laughs and kisses Orion's cheek, his neck, his back.
110.
OREGANO
~His neck, his back, his--~
111. OVD
ANACHRONISMS!
112.
(Orion)
I feel a bit sick.
113.
(Marie)
Join the club!
114.
(Tokiomi)
We’ve got bracelets!
115.
(Evryn)
Oh, so we’re not gatekeeping for this club, I guess!
116.
(Illybrius)
...
117.
(Orion)
It's fine. And you?
118.
(Illybrius)
Still horny as hell. Still heartbroken.
119.
(Orion)
I'm sorry.
120.
(Evryn)
Your previous dialogue has established that that is a lie.
121.
WHITE TEXT
Illybrius grips Orion's sides and digs
talons in.
122.
(Illybrius)
No you're not.
123.
(Orion)
Pain.
124.
(Reiya)
Yes, Onion, I think that’s the point.
125.
(Serleina)
Wait, you can think?
126.
WHITE TEXT
Illybrius rides Orion harder.
127.
(Orion)
Ahhh... hurts...
128.
(Illybrius)
That's the idea. You hurt me, now I hurt you.
129.
(Orion)
Gomen.
130.
(Marie)
Aww, the thinks
apologizing in a different language is gonna help?
131.
(Illybrius)
Like hell.
132.
(Orion)
Please...
133.
(Illybrius)
What?
134.
(Orion)
No more.
135.
WHITE TEXT
Illybrius continues.
136.
(Illybrius)
You're such a lightweight.
137.
(Orion)
No... master, please... master
138.
(Serleina)
YOUR PLEAS AND SUPPLICATION MEAN NOTHING! PUNY DEMON!
139.
(Marie)
No, really, your
dialogue in this scene is so bland and unspecific it's like Corri's just
resting her elbow on the keyboard and waiting for Falcon to read her mind.
140.
(Illybrius)
Usagi can handle more than you can, and he's human.
141.
(Orion)
Well, he's not torn, I can feel it.
142.
(Evryn)
You can feel that Usagi isn’t torn?
143.
(Orion)
God, it hurts. Pain.
144.
(Marie)
We’ve established
that that is the point.
145.
(Illybrius)
I'll heal the wounds when I'm done.
146.
(Orion)
Master.
147.
(Illybrius)
What?
148.
(Orion)
Hurts...
149.
(Evryn)
You don't care about hurting him. Why should he care about
hurting you?
150.
(Marie)
Signs that two
people should not be having sex.
151.
(Serleina)
MAYBE FOR YOU, VANILLA!
152.
(Désmoda)
You can’t see me, but I’m nodding fervently.
153.
(Marie)
Not being into
that specifically doesn’t make me vanilla.
154.
(Désmoda)
There are many other reasons to consider you boring. I
mean, “vanilla”.
155.
(Illybrius)
If you're that much of a damn baby, I'll heal you now, but
I'm going to keep riding you.
156.
(Tokiomi)
If I had a dime.
157.
(Serleina)
Here’s a QUARTER! Call someone who cares!
158.
(Orion)
No healing... I'm hard again.
159.
(Evryn)
What in the fuckadilly? That’s a really bad reason to not
want the tear in your bum to be healed.
160.
(Marie)
The complications
of a perforated colon are not sexy. But they are potentially life-threatening!
Unlike not being able to jizz.
161.
(Illybrius)
Too late, it’s healed.
162.
(Marie)
HA!
163.
(Orion)
Fuck!
164.
(Evryn)
Can I ask you a personal question? Why do you want to die
of sepsis so badly?
165.
(Illybrius)
I can always bite your flesh, make the blood pour out.
166.
(Orion)
I am yours, master.
167.
(Marie)
That line is such
a non-response that it sounds ghostwritten by a bot.
168.
ROSEMARY
Bot. Bot. Bot.
169.
(Illybrius)
It's so pretty.
170.
WHITE TEXT
Illybrius pauses for a second, then rides
Orion more slowly, deliberately.
171.
(Illybrius)
You'd damn well better be mine.
172.
(Orion)
AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh. Feels so... gods it... pain.
173.
WHITE TEXT
a.
Illybrius chuckles.
b. Orion
whimpers.
c.
Illybrius licks Orion.
d. Orion
moans.
e.
Illybrius buries himself in Orion
completely and plays with Orion's cock with his left hand, balls with his
right.
174.
(Orion)
MASTER!
175.
(Illybrius)
I can get Usagi in here to suck you off if you like...
176.
(Orion)
If oh god the pleasure... you want. Pain pleasure feels...
can't so hard
177.
(Usagi)
I'll do it, but I won't like it.
178.
(Illybrius)
Yes, you will.
179.
(Reiya)
I think The Corri has rubbed off on Illybrius. He’s trying
to dictate Usagi’s likes and dislikes.
180.
(Suddenly, Falcon!)
a.
Illybrius and Usagi are both Falcon
Characters! It’s fine! Also…
b. {sin-thine-ass-off.png}
181.
(Illybrius)
Snowball with me afterwards... I want a taste too.
182.
(Orion)
Getting close... masters, please...
183.
(Illybrius)
Not yet.
184.
WHITE TEXT
Orion whimpers.
185.
(Orion)
Please.
186.
(Illybrius)
Orion, sweet Orion, why don't you want to be loved?
187.
(Orion)
Demons... don't deserve love...
188.
(Lena)
INTERNALIZED SPECIESISM!
189.
(Reiya)
This is giving me serious “You don’t understand me, no-one
understands me!” vibes.
190.
(Orion)
Master, hurts.
191.
(Marie)
Orion, stop being
a broken record! You are putting zero effort into this dialogue!
192.
(Serleina)
OH—OH, I’M SORRY! DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WATCH THIS SHIT BECAUSE WE PUT EFFORT
INTO IT? THAT’S ACTUALLY FUNNY! HA! HA, HA!
193.
(Marie)
The fact that I
can tell that Corri’s phoning it in bothers me.
194.
(Illybrius)
Not yet. 69 with Usagi.
195.
(Orion)
Please...
196.
(Illybrius)
I don't care if you don't deserve love, I love you anyway,
and I will continue to love you.
197.
(Evryn)
Glug, glug.
198.
(Sigyn)
Pass that over here, will you?
199.
(Evryn)
*scoff* Pony up first. This stuff isn’t free, you know.
200.
(Orion)
I need...
201.
WHITE TEXT
a.
Illybrius increases his pace slightly.
b. Orion
screams.
c.
Usagi deepthroats Orion, then pulls back.
202.
(Usagi)
I hate you, Illybrius.
203.
WHITE TEXT
Orion returns the favor and sucks Usagi
hard.
204.
(Usagi)
I'm joking, of course.
205.
(Reiya)
Somehow I don’t think that’s the case.
206.
WHITE TEXT
Orion moans and sucks hard.
207.
(Orion)
Please....
208.
(Marie)
Oh my God, put
some effort into this dialogue. Please…
209.
WHITE TEXT
Usagi shudders.
210.
(Usagi)
Feels good...
211.
(Illybrius)
Wait for Usagi.
212.
WHITE TEXT
Orion sucks really hard.
213.
(Evryn)
Accurate.
214.
(Reiya)
I was just going to say.
215.
(Illybrius)
It won't take him long...
216.
WHITE TEXT
a.
Illybrius increases his pace again.
b. Orion
nibbles and deepthroats Usagi.
c.
Illybrius bites Orion's neck, extends his
fangs, and sucks greedily.
217.
(Usagi)
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
218.
WHITE TEXT
Orion pulls back to scream.
219.
(Orion)
Please.
220.
(Illybrius)
Very well. Usagi, you may cum. Orion, you may cum after
you swallow.
221.
WHITE TEXT
a.
Usagi cums explosively.
b. Orion
swallows greedily.
222.
(Orion)
I'm gonna
223.
WHITE TEXT
a.
Usagi sucks harder, encouraging.
b. Orion
cums hard.
224.
(Illybrius)
Mmm, good boys.
225.
(Orion)
*whimpers. *
226.
(Illybrius)
Orion, you won't forget? You did promise to marry me if I
let you cum the first time.
227.
(Orion)
No.
228.
(Evryn)
No, he won’t forget, or no, he won’t marry Illybrius?
229.
(Reiya)
Yes.
230.
(Illybrius)
Usagi, snowball with me... I want to taste him too.
231.
(Usagi)
I hate you so much.
232.
WHITE TEXT
Usagi does so.
233.
(Illybrius)
Mmm, you taste good.
234. [LIGHTS
ON]
235.
ORION
Masters...
236.
ILLYBRIUS
Hmm?
237.
ORION
Tired. Full.
238.
ILLYBRIUS
Yes, so am I. Please be here tomorrow. Don't forget.
239.
ORION
Hm? Hang on. She's gone.
240.
EVRYN
Oh okay then, let’s focus on Akuma now, I fucking guess!
I’d say that was a nice reprieve while it lasted, but it really, really wasn’t.
241.
ILLYBRIUS
Your promise. Can't hang on. Have to go now. Be back
tomorrow, my sweet.
242. [exit
ILLYBRIUS]
243.
ORION
But Akuma... Very well.
244.
SERLEINA
OH MY UNGODS, SHUT THE FUCK-FUCK-FUCK
UP ABOUT AKUMA!
245.
MARIE
I guess that’s why Corri was phoning it in? I don’t like it,
but it makes sense.
246.
CIN
Oddly enough, you didn't seem to care so much about Akuma
when you were raping her. Were you trying to prove something?
247.
EVRYN
You know, Cin, oddly enough, rapists generally don’t
care about their victims.
248.
CIN
THEN WHY IS HE—AARGLE FUCKING RAARGLE!
249. (Focus
on the ficus as the sounds of screaming and breaking stuff are heard)
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