1.
TITLE
How Orion Became a Demon and Other Inconsistencies
2.
SETTING
Orion's room
3.
Mon, Nov 10,
2008
[10.00 PM]
4.
ILLYBRIUS
kisses a wing
It's alright.
5.
ORION
I… was seventeen… when I became a demon. Fourteen in Enzeru years.
6.
EPIPHANY
[ Is there actually a conversion ratio for those,
or does she pull the numbers out of her ass?]
7.
EVRYN
Do you really have to ask?
8.
EPIPHANY
[You know what they say about curiosity killing
children?]
9.
OVD
Cats, Epiphany. Curiosity kills cats.
10.
EPIPHANY
[No, it kills children.]
11.
EVRYN
Well, fine, then they're random bullshit numbers she pulls out of her
ass for the sake of drama and wangst.
12.
AHRRY
HELLLLPPPPP!!! MY GRANDFATHER GOT HIT BY A CAR AND FELL DOWN THE WELL
AGAIN! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK! AND I RAN OUT OF POP TARTS! AND CRACK!
PITY MEEEEE!!!
13.
SERLEINA
Oh. Oh, I get it. You don't
want to be MY ass, but you'll run off
and be CORRI'S ass.
14.
AHRRY
What can I say, I like trailer park food.
15.
LENA
CLASSIST!
16.
AHRRY
Class my ass, I want it three times on the grass!
17.
ILLYBRIUS
I love you, Orion.
18.
EVRYN takes a
shot
19.
ILLYBRIUS
Nothing is going to change that.
20.
EPIPHANY
[ I wish it would.]
21.
EVRYN
Why? You'd have to hear him whine about being unloved.
22.
EPIPHANY
[Someone will be whining no matter what on this
show, so I'd rather increase net misery.]
23.
ORION
Hold me. Let me forget that I am a demon.
24.
EVRYN
Just stop reminding everyone. Seriously, you act just like a
stereotypical whiny teenage HUMAN.
25.
ORION
I just… I need to be the child I was before this happened for…
just a few minutes.
26.
TRENT
EW EW EW EW EW EW! You just got out of a lights-out scene!
27.
MARIE
I would ask Corri to remember context, but she's already well-aware of
it.
28.
EVRYN, to Onion
Dude. You're ALWAYS childish. Even more so than Epiphany, who is
still developmentally a child.
29.
TRENT
Then he does not need to be in lights-out scenes EVER.
30.
ILLYBRIUS
cradles Orion
31.
ILLYBRIUS
Whatever you need, my love.
32.
ORION openly
sobs, not caring anymore.
33.
ILLYBRIUS
cuddles Orion tightly
Sweet one…
34.
ORION
Kannon.
35.
ILLYBRIUS
Hmm?
36.
ORION
My name.
37.
ILLYBRIUS
It's a nice name.
38.
ORION
It's Enzeru for … "Brave Warrior".
39.
EPIPHANY
[Did you actually need to think to remember what
your own name means?]
40.
SIGYN
Yes.
41.
ILLYBRIUS
It suits you.
42.
[CUE SOUND:
canned laughter]
43.
ORION
No it doesn't. I ran from my problems. I... I'm not brave.
44.
ILLYBRIUS
You're brave enough to have lived through it rather than commit suicide.
45.
LENA
ABLEIST!
46.
ORION
How do you think I ended up as a demon?
47.
ILLYBRIUS
I don't know. You never told me.
48.
ORION
My lover… he died in battle protecting me. I… took his sword
and slit my throat.
49.
EVRYN
Remember kids, committing suicide will turn you into an emo fail demon
that lives off of coercive sadomasochism. That's probably one of the most
humiliating ways to spend all of eternity, so don't do it.
50.
ILLYBRIUS
Oh…
51.
ORION
I… became a demon to avenge him but… I never did. I got my power
and ran.
52.
EPIPHANY
[Wait, so you KNEW you'd become a demon instead of
dying?]
[That doesn't count as suicide.]
53.
ILLYBRIUS
Sweet one, I cannot imagine what you've been through.
54.
EVRYN
It's so stupid, it boggles the mind.
55.
ORION
By Enzeru law, I was still a child when it happened.
56.
EPIPHANY
[So? I'm legally still a child in some places,
too.]
57.
MARIE
Onion, would you stop emphasizing that?!
58.
ORION
And I acted like it too.
59.
EVRYN
Why are you using the past tense? You're STILL acting like a child!
60.
EPIPHANY
[This whole scene has vaguely paedophilic vibes,
tbh.]
61.
MARIE
Epiphany, what the fuck do you mean by
"vague"?
62.
OVD
I know what you're thinking and no, you are not allowed to "torch
this entire script."
63.
EPIPHANY, Santa Claus Scowl
[DAMMIT]
64.
TOKIOMI
Those paedophilic vibes are making me very uncomfortable. Please stop.
65.
EPIPHANY
[Yes, I agree.]
66.
ILLYBRIUS
I've been a child for the last seven thousand years.
67.
EVRYN
This is probably a good time to point out that by Drakoste law, one does
not become an adult until one reaches age 20. Illybrius is eternally 19.
68.
ORION
Your body is older than mine.
69.
EVRYN
Dude, by two years! You're still physically older than me!
70.
ILLYBRIUS
My body is older than most. Actually, it's been 6968 years.
71.
ORION
I meant even though your body is nineteen, mine is only fourteen.
72.
EVRYN
Wait, I thought yours was 17 in human years. You said it was 14 in
Enzeru years.
73.
ORION
STOP POKING HOLES IN MY STORY!
74.
DREPANON runs
onstage.
STOP POKING HOLES IN MATH!
75.
EPIPHANY, SANTA
CLAUS SCOWL, simultaneously
[STOP POKING HOLES IN MATH!]
76.
EPIPHANY
...
77.
EPIPHANY
[STOP COPYING ME!]
78.
MARIE
Production veto! Onion is now 18. Not 14. What the fuck, Corri?
79.
ILLYBRIUS
It doesn't matter.
80.
EPIPHANY
[Corri is creepy regardless.]
81.
EVRYN
Creepy and inconsistent. I know I should be used to inconsistency by
now, but it still bothers me.
82.
ORION
I … just need you to know. After I became a demon… I was a pet—
83.
EPIPHANY zaps
Orion
84.
ORION
—until Akuma summoned her brother's soul. The fact I was a pet—
85.
EPIPHANY zaps
Orion
86.
ORION
—turned me into what I am.
87.
EPIPHANY
[A whiny whiner who whines?]
88.
ORION
*whines* I'm not whiny! And stop zapping me, it hurrrrts!
89.
EPIPHANY
[That's the idea.]
90.
ILLYBRIUS
caresses Orion gently.
91.
ORION
I never wanted to be like this. But... she made me this way.
92.
EPIPHANY
[Yeah, Corri does stuff like that.]
93.
FAUS
I am very familiar with the feeling of being fiated into something you
never wanted to be.
94.
EVRYN
I feel so sorry for Orion's muse, having to put up with all this
bullshit.
95.
ORION
I… hate the fact I need pain during sex to survive.
96.
EPIPHANY
[Corri loves it, though.]
97.
ILLYBRIUS
I'm glad that I know that you do.
98.
ORION
I love the fact you are good to me. You wouldn't do what she did to me.
I know that you would never hurt me in ways that… I've said too much. I'm
sorry.
99.
EPIPHANY rolls
eyes
[ I see what you're doing there.]
100.
ILLYBRIUS
Say as much as you need to, my love. However, please say it quickly,
because I have to go in two minutes.
101.
ORION
She would deny my release for days until… all I would do was fuck and be
fucked for her pleasure until I was either almost dead or out of my mind in
pleasure and pain. But you... wouldn't do that to me. And when you told me you…
didn't want to hurt me… I realised I was becoming like her… and it scared me.
102.
EPIPHANY rolls
eyes
[You know, at this rate, we're going to need to start making bingo
cards.]
103.
Bingo cards
fall from the sky
104.
EVRYN picks up
a bingo card and rapidly starts crossing things off.
BINGO!
105.
ILLYBRIUS
That I understand.
106.
ILLYBRIUS picks
up a card
107.
ILLYBRIUS
Hey, I have bingo too!
108.
OVD
This is going to be too easy. I made the centre space
"Wangst".
109.
DREPANON
Are we playing for blackout?
110.
OVD
... Yes.
111.
DREPANON
Sweet! Two more spaces to go!
112.
ILLYBRIUS
When I bought Usagi, I—my greatest fear was treating him as coldly as
Maheone—
113.
ORION
We… I… you had better go. Don't want your host in trouble. I'll be fine.
114.
MARIE
Oh yeah, Illybrius definitely needs to go before he
starts talking about his own feelings any more.
115.
ILLYBRIUS
I still have a minute. I love you.
116.
EVRYN takes a
shot
117.
ILLYBRIUS
Don't ever forget that.
118.
ORION
I won't. Next time… no. You had better go. I less-than-three you.
119.
ILLYBRIUS
My sweet love, we'll speak tomorrow, yes? 8.30, as I won't be able to
get here as early as I usually do on Tuesday.
120.
ORION
This bingo game is stupid.
121.
ORION
ragequits.
122.
DREPANON
One more to blackout!
