1. TITLE
An
Unexpected Visitor
2.
SETTING
Akuma’s
room
3.
November 8, 2008, 9.02 PM.
4.
enter AKUMA
5.
AKUMA
takes out phone
Irubura! I'm calling Caleb.
6.
EVRYN
I thought you wanted to get Corri?
7.
EPIPHANY
[She
got the non-consent form signed, so now she needs to find someone to force to
watch.]
8.
EVRYN facepalms
9.
MARIE
Well, they are all the same hivemind.
10.
SIGYN
Isn't that what the Tokiomi half of
the audience is for?
11.
ILLYBRIUS
Fine. I'm asking Cinnamon for help
punishing Orion for coming without permission.
12.
EVRYN
Wait, I thought you wanted him there.
Oh. Wait. Never mind.
13.
AKUMA
Oh boy. Lee, Rose isn't doing so
good.
14.
EVRYN
But is she doing well?
15.
EPIPHANY
[It
doesn't matter, as long as Illybrius stops talking about Team Falcon.]
16.
EVRYN
Since when does grammar not matter?
17.
EPIPHANY
a) [You're
right. Let me amend that.]
b) [It
doesn't matter^to Corri, as long as Illybrius stops talking about Team Falcon.]
c) [So
the answer is probably "no", because if she were doing well, there'd
be less incentive to pay attention to her.]
18.
ILLYBRIUS
Tap into your bond with me if it will
help.
19.
AKUMA
Caleb is trying his hardest. I am not
a healer. I am a warrior.
20.
SERLEINA
You're a warrior in the exact same way that I am a DISNEY
PRINCESS!
21.
AKUMA
Exactly, because you’re Merida!
22.
SERLEINA
DO
I FUCKING SOUND SCOTTISH TO YOU?!
23.
CONNY
Paeth’n!
24.
SERLEINA
FUCK
OFF!
25.
CONNY
Kth’n.
26.
ILLYBRIUS
I am both—
27.
EVRYN
A Disney Princess and Scottish?
28.
EPIPHANY
a) [No!]
b) [He’s obviously both a Disney Princess and
a warrior!]
c) [Wait,
no, that IS the Scottish one.]
29.
EVRYN
Only because they didn’t make Mulan a princess. Sad day.
30.
SIGYN
No, you guys, he’s saying he’s Scottish and a healer. Wait, no. A
princess and a healer. Wait—
31.
TOKIOMI
He’s a healer and a warrior.
32.
EPIPHANY
[That’s not as fun as Santa Claus.]
33.
EVRYN
Oh my God, I can’t believe you kept that sign!
34.
ILLYBRIUS
I played a Mall Santa once. I got
lots of cookies. And a six-year-old girl asked me for her parents back. Citakua
charges an arm and a leg per resurrection, though, and I happen to need those.
Probably more than she needed her parents.
35.
EPIPHANY,
fire thoughts
[I’d sacrifice your arms and your legs
for my parents.]
36.
ILLYBRIUS
Yes, well, that was before I got this
gig. Let’s just say I,
ah, may have changed my mind since then.
37.
OVD
Aren’t you meant to be
conversing with Akuma, not the crew and audience?
38.
ILLYBRIUS
—and you might be able to channel my
power.
39.
AKUMA
If Caleb can’t help, make sure Orion gets off
twice more.
40.
SIGYN
Oh my God, you were not listening to
that conversation at all. You’re awful.
41.
EPIPHANY
[And
if we're pretending this is a medical emergency, are refractory periods being
taken into account, or is Orion too sparkly for those?]
42.
EVRYN
Too sparkly
43.
EPIPHANY
[Also,
who is Rose and why would her condition, whatever it is, be improved by Orion
having orgasms?]
44.
EVRYN
Rose is Orion's daughter, remember?
45.
EPIPHANY
a) [Oh.]
b) [.
. . I still don't get how Orion achieving multiple orgasms will solve
anything.]
c) [Unless
we need to add incestuous bukkake to the plot board.]
46.
EVRYN adds "incestuous bukkake" to
the plot board
47.
SIGYN
With the exception of Akuma—
48.
TOKIOMI
Hey, I like Akuma!
49.
SIGYN
Shut up, Terra— This show is getting
better and better!
50.
EVRYN
Our audience is getting worse and
worse…
51.
OVD
You can’t say that to their
faces! What if they stop watching?
52.
SIGYN
I’m not going to stop watching if there’s a possibility of incestuous
bukkake.
53.
OVD
… We’ll keep it on the
table.
54.
EPIPHANY
[NO!]
55.
OVD,
whining
I really, really want
an audience, okay?
56.
SERLEINA
Hey, speaking of tables, guess what ONION’S MOM—
57.
OVD
Serleina, NO!
58.
SERLEINA
SERLEINA
YES! Anyway, Onion’s mom ordered us pizza from Round Table. What did you think I
was going to—
59.
ILLYBRIUS
Did you say pizza?
60.
AKUMA
Can we stop filming now and eat?
61.
OVD
See what you did? No!
Get back to work!
62.
AKUMA
makes Akuma noises.
63.
ILLYBRIUS
a) Okay, next line… next line… Oh, thanks, Jeph.
b) “Twice more. I will.”
64.
AKUMA
Good.
65.
CINNAMON
Oh my GOD, Akuma! I know this is
probably no time for levity, but Usagi is doing a cheer routine!
66.
AKUMA makes bug eyes.
67.
CINNAMON
Specifically, the one for the Dallas
Cowboy Cheerleader tryouts.
68.
AKUMA
Is Corri doing the same?
69.
CINNAMON
She’s watching, bug-eyed.
70.
EPIPHANY
[So,
yes, Corri's doing the exact same thing Akuma is.]
71.
EVRYN
Considering that they're the EXACT
SAME PERSON, I'm not surprised
72.
AKUMA
Figures.
73.
EPIPHANY
[Is
she snarking herself?]
74.
EVRYN
Yes, yes she is.
75.
EPIPHANY
[This
is possibly the sweetest victory.]
76.
SIGYN
No, OVD conceding to inc—
77.
EVRYN
THIS IS THE SWEETEST VICTORY.
78.
TOKIOMI walks up to the Plot Board and neatly
strikesthru "Incestuous Bukkake".
79.
AKUMA
Shit, this isn’t working.
80.
EPIPHANY
[.
. . Or maybe she was just trying reverse psychology on us, and failed like the
failure she is.]
81.
EVRYN
I'd take that bet.
82.
TOKIOMI
Guys, be fair. She probably just
really wants to take a food break so she can get out of character and have some
pizza.
83.
SIGYN
No, that— Actually, that makes a
surprising amount of sense.
84.
ILLYBRIUS
I’ll send Enon to help. He’s easy to spot: Albino with long
hair. He’s a healer like…. He can help.
85.
EPIPHANY
[Fun
fact: It's considered more polite to say "person with albinism"]
86.
ILLYBRIUS
True, but a) I'm not polite and b) He
was not born as a human. He's a wolverine who can take the form of a human, not
the other way around.
87.
EPIPHANY,
ignoring that
[Other
Fun Fact: I can guarantee you that Enon cannot, in fact, help, unless his doing
so is part of the specific scenario that Corri wants to play out, which he
obviously isn't because Akuma hasn't demanded him.]
88.
AKUMA
Lee. Her body is purging her own life
energy. It’s almost like she’s
poisoning her own body.
89.
EPIPHANY
[Somewhere,
an MD is crying.]
90.
EVRYN
That's nothing. She makes a
gynecologist cry every year.
91.
EPIPHANY
a) [Matthew,
I'm apologizing to you for all of us in advance.]
b) [It’s
your own damn fault for watching this crap, though.]
92.
OVD,
;A;
Four audience members!
WE’RE UP TO FOUR NOW! I could die happy.
93.
SERLEINA
WAIT
YOUR TURN!
94.
OVD
Also, this is going to
get so confusing when we have a character on the show named Matthew.
95.
ILLYBRIUS
What can I do?
96.
EVRYN
Bribe and blackmail more people into
watching the show?
97.
TOKIOMI
I thought that was Marigold's job.
Even though she's technically not a member of the audience!
98.
AKUMA
I don’t know. I’ve never seen this before and neither
have Drake or Caleb. I don’t think there is anything we can do.
99.
EPIPHANY
[Then
why the fuck are you bothering us about it?]
100.
EVRYN
To get attention?
101.
ILLYBRIUS
Fuck.
102.
EVRYN
That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it?
103.
SIGYN
Well actually— oh, you were talking
to him.
104.
EVRYN
No, I know what YOUR answer for
everything is.
105.
AKUMA
Don’t tell Orion yet.
106.
EVRYN
I'm pretty sure he's figured it out
by now, too.
107.
AKUMA
I want to try something.
108.
ILLYBRIUS
I won’t.
109.
AKUMA
Good. Cause if this doesn’t work…
110.
ILLYBRIUS
You’re fucked. I know.
111.
EPIPHANY
[Just
hurry the fuck up and do it.]
112.
SERLEINA
THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!
113.
AKUMA
And he’ll go crazy and I won’t be able to stop him.
114.
EPIPHANY
a) [Were
this a real medical emergency, you'd be wasting valuable seconds right now that
could be the difference between a little girl's life or death.]
b) [Just
so you know.]
115.
ILLYBRIUS
I know.
116.
EVRYN
You’re a bit of a dick, you know that?
117.
ILLYBRIUS
Yes, I know everything. Or at least,
I think I do.
118.
EVRYN
In that case, d'you know the actual
solution to Conny's ear problem from before?
119.
ILLYBRIUS
Yes, obviously. She should just cut
it off. Or, you know, die.
120.
EPIPHANY
[No,
that's the solution to Conny.]
121.
AKUMA
He’s pyric.
122.
EVRYN
Priapic.
123.
EPIPHANY
taps watch
[Tick-Negligent
Homicide-Tock]
124.
EVRYN
You do know she doesn't actually care
about saving his life, right?
125.
SIGYN
The audience doesn’t really care.
126.
TOKIOMI
Shh, Akuma’s about to speak!
127.
AKUMA
I don’t plan on getting banged by him
again.
128.
EVRYN
ERM.
129.
AKUMA
Promise or no promise, if he comes
after me, Irubura…
130.
EPIPHANY
a) [.
. . Are you fucking serious?]
b) [This
ENTIRE scenario was just an elaborate excuse for Akuma to get raped?]
131.
REIYA
Corri, you are a sick, sick excuse
for a human being. I hope you get eaten by spiders.
132.
EVRYN
Why would you want to poison the
poor, innocent spiders?
133.
REIYA
As long as they stay away from the
mush-filled cavity where her brain should be, they should be fine.
134.
ILLYBRIUS
Usagi and I will keep him busy.
135.
AKUMA
No. I need Usagi to be ready in case
I need to run. I’ll need someone to be at your place.
136.
ILLYBRIUS
The Palace, I assume? Enon’s there, on standby.
137.
AKUMA
Good. Thank you. I’m starting, so don’t talk to me. I don’t want to screw up.
138.
[17 minutes later]
139.
AKUMA
LEE! We are losing her.
140.
EPIPHANY
grins
[And
whose fault is this?]
141.
EVRYN
Akuma's, of course.
142.
AKUMA
Nothing is—
143.
EVRYN
No, everything is.
144.
AKUMA
What?
145.
ILLYBRIUS
What?
146.
EVRYN
Everything is Akuma's fault.
147.
AKUMA
It felt like… it can’t be…
148.
EVRYN
Oh, but it is.
149.
ILLYBRIUS
What?
150.
AKUMA
How?
151.
EVRYN
It's not really that difficult to
understand.
152.
TOKIOMI
I’m not following.
153.
EPIPHANY
[Can
we cue the "Everything Is Akuma's Fault" song?]
154.
[CUE SOUND: Mocking laughtrack]
155.
ILLYBRIUS
Who just jumped our bond?
156.
AKUMA
It— no…
157.
EPIPHANY
[No, that was actually our show jumping the shark.]
158.
ILLYBRIUS
Who does it feel like, Miss Akuma?
159.
AKUMA
Lee, I feel Impare.
160.
SIGYN
Yeah, you sound impaired.
161.
LENA
A…ble…ist? I… Nah, fuck it. I’m gonna get some pizza.
162.
OVD
You can’t.
163.
LENA
I’m not a part of this scene, though.
164.
OVD
No, I mean, the totetsu
ate it all. The boxes, too.
165.
LENA
Oh. Well, damn.
166.
ILLYBRIUS
It… can’t be!
167.
AKUMA
It’s… why?
168.
EPIPHANY
[Probably
because of your Akuma Noises earlier.]
169.
CINNAMON
Because you need him.
170.
SERLEINA
He needs pizza, that’s what he needs! And Sei-Sei
needs to learn some self-discipline!
171.
AKUMA
I feel… no… stop.
172.
EPIPHANY
a) [Your
ellipsis privileges are hereby revoked.]
b) [Start
speaking in full sentences]
173.
AKUMA
I WANT SOME PIZZA! *AKUMA NOISES!!!*
174.
MARIE
This is actually the most valid Akuma
Noise of all time! I didn’t even get a slice!
175.
OVD,
sheepishly
My bad.
176.
MARIE
Time to order more pizza!
177.
OVD
… this is coming out of
Sei-Sei’s pay.
178.
SERLEINA
She’s not even part of the cast!
179.
OVD
THEN
KEEP HER OFF MY FUCKING SET!
180.
SERLEINA
She’s not on your set! She’s at Craft Services!
181.
OVD
Craft Service is for
the actors and crew!
182.
SERLEINA
SUCKS
TO SUCK, LOSER!
183.
CINNAMON
Akuma, there’s no use fighting. You need that
extra power if you’re going to go through with— when exactly did I start sounding like
Giles? Just do it!
184.
AKUMA
EMPTY STOMACH! HURTS!
185.
EPIPHANY
a) [THAT
IS NOT A FULL SENTENCE]
b) [GET
OUT OF MY SIGHT.]
186.
EVRYN
Epiphany, wow. Just because you don’t need to eat doesn’t mean the actors don’t.
187.
EPIPHANY
a) [DO
YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I MISS BEING ABLE TO EAT PIZZA?]
b) [IT’S BEEN 26 YEARS, EVRYN!]
188.
AKUMA
You know who else misses being able
to eat pizza? ME! IT’S BEEN… TWO MONTHS!
189.
SERLEINA
I
DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN! WITHOUT PIZZA!
190.
EVRYN
What fucking war crimes did you
commit, at age six, to get sent to Azkaban?
191.
SERLEINA
My dumbass pet ate someone else’s dumbass pet and also them, and
then their mom got all butthurt or something, iunno, it was stupid.
192.
OVD
ANACHRONISMS! Also, you
totally stole that from a show that won’t even exist until the 2020’s!
193.
SERLEINA
THIS
ISN’T EVEN FUCKING BEING PRODUCED UNTIL THE 2020’S, LEAVE ME ALONE!
194.
USAGI
I AM ON A DIET!
195.
LENA
I’M VEGAN!
196.
EVRYN
Wow, Lena, no one asked.
197.
LENA
Oh, no one ever asks for soapboxing. It’s a noble community service, really.
198.
EPIPHANY
a) [Whatever
lets you sleep at night.]
b) [You
lucky jerk.]
199.
AKUMA
You know what else is a noble
community service? DELIVERING PIZZA!!!
200.
ILLYBRIUS
Relax.
201.
EVRYN
Clearly you don’t like pizza and are therefore
soulless.
202.
AKUMA,
taking matters into her own hands and putting a pizza into the oven barehanded
Trying… burns… like fire…
203.
EVRYN
Dumb shit, you need gloves for that!
204.
AKUMA
No I don’t! Enzerus are different! Ow.
205.
EPIPHANY
[Who
preheated the oven?]
206.
TOKIOMI
That man, over there!
207.
[pan to MAHEONE]
208.
ILLYBRIUS
He’s earth and light. I should have
preheated the oven. I’m fire.
209.
EPIPHANY,
fire thoughts
[Well,
you didn’t, now, did you?]
210.
EVRYN
Wait, but doesn't Aksuema also have
fire powers now?
211.
/exit AKUMA
212.
enter MAHEONE
213.
MAHEONE
Illybrius, I miss you. Do you like her?
I made her for you.
214.
EPIPHANY
a) [Wait,
what?]
b) [Isn't
the weeaboo supposed to be an ancient old hag?]
215.
EVRYN
Apparently Maheone made her for him
thousands of years ago.
216.
EPIPHANY
[.
. . And did he just, I don't know, put her in a giftwrapped box in the back of
the closet and forget about her until a few months ago or something?]
217.
SERLEINA
I mean, I would have.
218.
EPIPHANY
[Of
course YOU would have.]
219.
SIGYN
Drepanon would have.
220.
EVRYN
OF COURSE HE WOULD HAVE.
221.
SIGYN
At least Maheone didn’t lock her in the cage and then take
the keys with him when he went to Starbucks.
222.
AKUMA
Maybe he did! You don’t know my life!
223.
SIGYN
I would be really surprised, because
I honestly just stole that line from Just Shoot Me.
224.
REIYA
More importantly, how LONG was he at STARBUCKS?
225.
EVRYN
Stupid-thousand years, of course.
226.
TOKIOMI
To be fair, maybe the line was long,
or maybe he went to Peets, or maybe he decided to eschew big coffee companies
and sought out the mom & pop cafe's, or maybe—
227.
SERLEINA
You do know that this guy's mean to Akuma, yeah?
228.
TOKIOMI
Everyone on this show is mean to
Akuma. For NO GOOD REASON.
229.
ILLYBRIUS
You… shouldn’t have. I love her dearly, but she is
a person, not a gift.
230.
EVRYN
Well, she’s certainly not a gift!
231.
MAHEONE
She was going to be ours.
232.
ILLYBRIUS
Maheone… is it really you?
233.
MAHEONE
I can’t stay long, Illybrius.
234.
EPIPHANY
[That's
notably NOT an answer to his question.]
235.
ILLYBRIUS
Is it?
236.
EPIPHANY
[You
asked a yes-or-no question. He failed to negate or affirm it.]
237.
ILLYBRIUS
turns to Maheone
Cinnamon is skeptical of you. You’re supposed to be supporting Bliu Néve. Anyway, are you at least staying
for pizza?
238.
MAHEONE
She needed me again.
239.
FLUOU
[Translation:
No, it’s not really him.]
240.
EVRYN
Yes, but is he staying for pizza?
241.
AKUMA
I CAN ONLY BAKE SO FAST!
242.
EVRYN
NO ONE IS RUSHING YOU!
243.
AKUMA makes Akuma noises
244.
EVRYN
Also, the stage directions said you
exited.
245.
AKUMA
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS
ME!
246.
MAHEONE
Please, Illybrius. I am sorry.
247.
EVRYN
rolls eyes
And he’s not paying attention.
248.
ILLYBRIUS
I know she needs you. Please be
careful. If you give her too much power, you will hurt her. By the way, I know
what happened that night. You shouldn’t have wiped my memory. I would have loved… we could have been lovers.
249.
MAHEONE
I was… I’m sorry, Illybrius. I raped you and couldn’t face you.
250.
EVRYN
Note to EVERYONE: Maheone is not now,
nor has he ever been, nor will he ever be, a rapist.
251.
MAHEONE
I am… so sorry.
252.
EVRYN
You should be. You’re really fucking up Maheone’s characterisation.
253.
EPIPHANY
[Seriously.
Stop dragging a good man's name through Corri's shit.]
254.
CINNAMON
Bliu! You need to go! Now! You need
to leave!
255.
EVRYN
I agree, except that’s not Bliu.
256.
MAHEONE
Bliu isn’t here. Just me.
257.
CINNAMON
Maheone—
258.
EVRYN
It’s not Maheone, either.
259.
CINNAMON
Whoever the fuck! You need to get
back to Bliu! Akuma’s bond cannot handle you! Go, or you’ll damage her! Also, we don’t have enough pizza to feed you!
260.
EPIPHANY
[Stay!
For the love of Thoth, stay!]
261.
EVRYN
I... really don't like Akuma, but I
also really don't want him on the set.
262.
EPIPHANY
[Okay,
you're right.]
263.
SERLEINA
Remember when OVD said we got a bunch of hate mail from Thoth? Yeah, you might not
want to invoke him on this show. Kind of like how in 2017, the Queen—
264.
OVD
Dude.
265.
SERLEINA
—would be embarrassed to host the American—
266.
OVD
DUDE.
267.
SERLEINA
—president and so there’s—
268.
LENA
#NotMyPresident
269.
OVD
THE FUCKING PIZZA IS
READY. DO YOU WANT TO EAT OR NOT?
270.
MARIE
That was fast.
271.
AKUMA
Yeah, I remembered how to access my
plot point fire powers and sped up the baking process.
272.
MARIE
This is a great use of your “pulling
really specific solutions out of your butt” power.
273.
CIN
Um, can we please not discuss
anything involving pulling stuff out of butts when the topic is making food?
274.
ILLYBRIUS
But why not?
275.
MAHEONE
I know, I know, just let me finish
the scene, okay. I am giving Akuma the last part of what she was supposed to
be.
276.
EPIPHANY
[GTFO,
faker.]
277.
EVRYN
Thank the gods. Now let’s eat.
278.
MARIE
…what does that even mean? Did you
forget to put a bow on her?
279.
OREGANO
♪ Cause you liked it then you should
have put a bow on it ♪
280.
Everyone munches on pizza, and the following
sprites are munchy-faced sprites holding pizza, except for Epiphany, Lena, and
Maheone.
281.
ILLYBRIUS
You really shouldn’t toy with peoples’ lives.
282.
EVRYN
Yes, it’s only okay when Epiphany does it.
283.
EPIPHANY
[You
see, when I do it, it's in-character.]
284.
EVRYN
Exactly. And Epi's way more awesome
than you, you faking faker who fakes.
285.
MAHEONE
I know.
286.
EPIPHANY
[So
why do you persist?]
287.
MAHEONE
Because plot reasons. I made her to
give to you on your Day of Everlast… as a wedding gift.
288.
ILLYBRIUS
A what?
289.
CINNAMON
I second that.
290.
EVRYN
I think they call it a “dowry” in Bassackwardopia. Also, you weren’t even ENGAGED! You were literally
just friends! Well, best friends, but still!
291.
MAHEONE
I wanted you to be with me. She was
my gift to you.
292.
EPIPHANY
[This
seems a little bit completely fucking stupid.]
293.
CINNAMON
You were going to marry Illybrius?
294.
MAHEONE
I wanted to, yes.
295.
EVRYN
No, you didn’t. You were just best friends. No
romantic attachment on your end.
296.
REIYA
THE FUJOSHI HAS SPOKEN! YOUR LOGIC IS
INVALID!
297.
ILLYBRIUS
People… are people.
298. >CUE
MUSIC: People Are People by Depeche Mode
299.
ILLYBRIUS
They are not to be given away as
gifts.
300.
MAHEONE
I know. I realize that now. And she
hates me for it. I can tell.
301.
EVRYN
She’s got every right to.
302.
ILLYBRIUS
She doesn’t.
303.
EVRYN
Well, she would if she were anyone
other than Aksuema.
304.
MARIE
Well, she has the right to, but for
some reason, she chooses not to use that right!
305.
ILLYBRIUS
She still considers you her
guardian.
306.
EPIPHANY
[For
some asinine reason.]
307.
ILLYBRIUS
Something about you, you can treat
people like shit and they still love you. Larlia, Akuma, and, as Bliu,
Cinnamon.
308.
EPIPHANY
[Okay,
for one? Akuma's a fucking idiot, and written by Corri, who is a terrible
writer who apparently gets off on this kind of creepy shit. Secondly, Bliu
would HATE this guy.]
309.
MAHEONE
And you. I raped you.
310.
EVRYN
You should probably stop reminding
him of that.
311.
EPIPHANY
[It
does prove my first point, though.]
312.
MAHEONE
I didn’t want to hurt you again like that.
313.
EVRYN
You wanted to hurt him again in a
completely different way.
314.
CINNAMON
Maheone. I love you.
315.
EVRYN takes a shot
316.
CINNAMON
I worship you. Et cetera. GET THE
FUCK OUT!
317.
EVRYN
I like the way you show love and
worship, poppet.
318.
CINNAMON
Oh, go to Hell, Evryn.
319.
EVRYN
Sorry, but you’re not my type.
320.
MAHEONE
She’s not done.
321.
EPIPHANY
[Don't
worry. I'll watch the oven now that the pizza’s out, so you don't have to worry
about her being undercooked.]
322.
LENA
OFFENSIIIIIIIVE!
323.
EVRYN
That’s not the direction he’s afraid of…
324.
EPIPHANY,
fire thoughts
[ALWAYS
BURN THE WEEABOO!]
325.
CINNAMON
She’s screaming in pain and Corri’s threatening to come after you.
326.
EPIPHANY
[Ewwwwww,
TMI]
327.
CINNAMON
Not THAT kind of "come"!
328.
EPIPHANY
[Are
you sure?]
329.
CINNAMON
I didn't mean it that way. I don't know if SHE
did.
330.
MAHEONE
I know.
331.
EVRYN
Of course you do. You and Corri are
both written by Corri.
332.
EPIPHANY goes and writes "CORRI HIVE
MIND" under "OTHER" on the Plot Board
333.
EPIPHANY
[How
did I forget that one?]
334.
MAHEONE
But I can’t leave until I finish her.
335.
ILLYBRIUS
WHAT?!
336.
EVRYN
Well, Maheone is meant to be a
gentleman, after all.
337.
EPIPHANY
[He’s
contradicting himself. We just had the “people are not possessions” talk.]
338.
SIGYN
Oh, don’t be silly, Epiphany.
339.
CINNAMON
Maheone, please. I love your
Incarnate as my ancestral mother loved you.
340.
EVRYN takes a shot
341.
CINNAMON
I don’t want to see either of you get hurt,
and Corri is more than capable of causing some serious pain.
342.
EVRYN
Tell me about it. I want to kill
myself every time I read one of these contrived scripts.
343.
SERLEINA
Right there with you. Except then I remember that I’m not Corri,
and you know what I do then?
344.
EVRYN
Tell me.
345.
SERLEINA
REJOICE!
346.
CINNAMON
She’s tapping into my power.
347.
MAHEONE
I am almost done. And I am not
finished talking to Illybrius.
348.
CINNAMON
I’ll butt out, then, but be careful!
349.
MAHEONE
I will.
350.
/exit CINNAMON
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