TITLE
Drossel's Family Hates Conny
November 4,
2008 | 6.09 PM
Tokiomi’s
apartment
3 DROSSEL
That is a
good. I’m going to look
when I get to Fresno.
4 AHRRY
Before or
after it was known as Frisco?
5 OVD
Ahrry, you-- you're going to ruin that joke when it comes up!
6 AHRRY
YOU DON'T
KNOW MY LIFE!
7 MARIE
Yeah, I kind
of think we all do.
8 AHRRY
You're on
the production team! You don't count!
9 VAAN
DIIIIIIIIIIID
SOMEBODY SAY "COUNT"? Because I can't do that, either.
10 EVRYN
That almost
explains why you had Caleb be a million-dollar whore.
11 MARIE
Except that
would also require having whoever paid for him not be able to fucking count.
12 VAAN
Some demons
can't read, other demons can't count. Either way, it works in my favor!
13 SIGYN
‘kay. Good luck.
14 CIN
That is the
opposite of the correct reaction. I think.
15 DROSSEL
Thank you.
If you’re looking for
cheap apartments, $850 at a decent one-bedroom in Clovis. It’s a nice area.
16 SIGYN
I don’t know if I can afford that, but
okay.
17 EVRYN
Not on $10
an hour working part time, you can’t.
18 DROSSEL
Dartmouth
towers, it’s gated, and you
only pay electric. All utilities are paid.
19 EVRYN
If there’s anything I’ve learned from Monopoly, it’s that electric is a utility.
20 DROSSEL
Fitness,
too. Pool ect.
21 EVRYN
What the
hell is a “pool ect”?
22 JEPH
[Fitness, too. Pool, etc.]
23 EVRYN
Ah, well, I
guess I can't expect a self-proclaimed "redneck" to know the
shorthand for "et cetera".
24 DREPANON
Should I be
offen—
25 MARIE
Also, is he
getting some kind of a kickback if someone else moves in there? Because he
sounds like a banner ad.
26 SIGYN, to
Drepanon
Sweet pea,
you're a hick, not a redneck.
27 DREPANON
Gee.
-- fade to black
--
28 SETTING
Olive Garden
29 Tue, Nov 4, 2008; 6.54 PM
30 ILLYBRIUS
Hello?
31 DRAKE, in
his own body!
Lee?
32 EVRYN
Who is that?
33 SIGYN
Don't you
recognize his voice? That's Drake Enzeru.
34 EVRYN
Not really.
Does he have a cold?
35 ILLYBRIUS
Yes.
36 EVRYN
Oh, okay
then.
37 DRAKE
Good.
I was told to get over here tonight so you could talk to Akuma. Shall I
get her?
38 EPIPHANY
[Why can't she come over here herself?]
39 OVD
Serleina, do you remember that talk about--
40 SERLEINA
I DIDN'T ACCIDENTALLY ANYONE'S LEGS! SHUT
UP!
41 EVRYN
And here I
was going to say something about her lack of agency.
42 SERLEINA
I'M FREELANCE!—oh. You meant Aksuema.
43 ILLYBRIUS
Yes, please.
44 AKUMA,
offstage
IT'S
A*KU*MA! WUHHH!
45 ILLYBRIUS
On second
thought--
46 DRAKE
Cool, let me
go down to the forge real quick.
47 ILLYBRIUS
Wait, but--
48 exit DRAKE
49 ILLYBRIUS
Damn it.
50 one
minute, enter DRAKE
51 DRAKE
Give her a
minute. She just finished with Fang.
52 EPIPHANY
[The blacksmith is named Fang?]
53 EVRYN
No, that would be too awesome. "Fang" is the name of the
weapon.
54 EPIPHANY
[Oh. Right. It would have been so much cooler if
the blacksmith was named Fang.]
55 ILLYBRIUS
Very well.
56 exit DRAKE, enter AKUMA
57 AKUMA
I’m here.
58 ILLYBRIUS
Aw, nerts.
59 AKUMA
How are you,
Lee?
60 ILLYBRIUS
"Better
now that you are here".
61 OVD
Okay, that was good, but this time, try to sound like you're not
reading off the cue card.
62 ILLYBRIUS
How have you
been?
63 AKUMA
Busy. I’ve been studying the Exasperated
Monstrosity and doing some crafting.
64 EPIPHANY
["Doing some crafting"? You
play too many video games.]
65 AKUMA
Trying to
numb my mind so I don’t think too much about what happened.
66 EPIPHANY
[That's the same excuse my cousin
Jirou used for why he'd go on MMORPG binges back when he was in high school.]
[Well, except he was speaking Japanese, and it was
because people were bullying him at school, not because he was forced to have
an abortion]
67 EVRYN
I mean...
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