Episode 76.2. November 7, 2008 at 10:08 p.m.

 

1.         November 7, 2008 | 10:08pm

 

2.   DROSSEL

Can we talk?

 

3.   SIGYN

Of course. What’s up?

 

4.   SERLEINA

MY FURRY ROBOT DICK, THAT'S WHAT!

 

5.   REIYA

Oh, did Evryn finally give that back?

 

6.   EPIPHANY

[Also, money, probably.]

 

7.   OVD

Tell that to the economy.

 

8.   SERLEINA

EXTORTION! AWWW – wait, no. It’s only cute when Epi and I do it!

 

9.   DROSSEL

I have good news. Have collateral. 

 

10.                  EPIPHANY

[Called it.]

 

11.                  DROSSEL

I have a question, and proposition, if you can.

 

12.                  EPIPHANY sighs, anger thoughts.

[With all apologies to my cousin, this is obnoxious as fuck.]

 

13.                  SIGYN

Probably can’t do anything money-related, and can’t do loans. Other than that, I might be able to help. What’s up?

 

14.                  SERLEINA

... Since it's YOU, I'm not going to repeat my comment.

 

15.                  DROSSEL

Okay, well, it’s kinda cash-related. You said your great-uncle had cash. I have collateral.

 

16.                  EVRYN

That’s a bit tacky, don’t you think? “Oh, you said your great-uncle has cash, can I have some?”

 

17.                  EPIPHANY

[Also, if you have collateral, why aren't you consulting a bank?]

 

18.                  SERLEINA

TOO STUPID. NEXT QUESTION?

 

19.                  SIGYN

I can’t ask him for money, though.

 

20.                  DROSSEL

Are you sure? I have collateral.

 

21.                   

a)  EPIPHANY, eyeing her scalpel

b)  FLUOU, holding Epi's sign

[If you say "I have collateral" ONE MORE TIME]

 

22.                  SIGYN

I know you have collateral, but my relationship with my great-uncle isn’t good enough for me to ask him for anything.

 

23.                  SERLEINA

Why am I not surprised?

 

24.                  SIGYN

Besides, he doesn’t live in town. 

 

25.                  SERLEINA

Again, why am I not surprised?

 

26.                  EPIPHANY

[Because no-one here is surprised.]

 

27.                  REIYA, =O

THIS IS MY “O” FACE! I’M SURPRISED!

 

28.                  MARIE

Reiya, I don’t think that means what you think it means.

 

29.                  SIGYN

I don’t think it would work even if we were close.

 

30.                  SERLEINA

... I don't think anyone wants to picture you two being "close".

 

31.                  EVRYN

VIRGIN EARS, SERLEINA.

 

32.                  SERLEINA

Don't give me that crap. You're a stripper.

 

33.                  OVD

Wait, really?

 

34.                  EVRYN

It's not like we get paid much for doing the show, Scrooge.

 

35.                  OVD

... Point taken.

 

36.                  LENA

I feel like that’s not the issue here! Evryn is fifteen!

 

37.                  EVRYN

Yeah, but Sassy Stardust is 21!

 

38.                  MARIE

Ahh, identity fraud.

 

39.                  EVRYN

I’m sorry, were you expecting the demon mafia to follow human laws?

 

40.                  MARIE

Did you miss the part where I was like “Ahh,” because that explains everything?

 

41.                  EVRYN

Yes. I miss quite a lot on this show, due to my unwillingness to pay the fuck attention.

 

42.                  MARIE

Ahh,

 

43.                  DROSSEL

Would you be able to try?

 

44.                  EVRYN

What part of “no” don’t you understand?

 

45.                  SERLEINA

The "no" part.

 

46.                  EPIPHANY

[The "not getting money" part.]

 

47.                  DROSSEL

I’m desperate. 

 

48.                  EVRYN

That's no excuse, you idiot!

 

49.                  DROSSEL

Kodi committed suicide and we need to chip into that—

 

50.                  EVRYN

Into Kodi’s suicide?

 

51.                  SERLEINA

BACK THE IMAGINARY, MONEY-GRUBBING TRUCK UP.

 

52.                  EPIPHANY

[You'd think this would have come up earlier in the conversation!]

[Well, except that he's trying to bullshit for money, but]

 

53.                  DROSSEL

—and I need a place.

 

54.                  SIGYN

No. And Kodi texted me earlier today. Are you sure she’s dead?

 

55.                  EPIPHANY

[I'm sure he's making things up now that I've threatened him into not pulling the "I have collateral" card anymore.]

 

56.                  SERLEINA

I'm surprised it actually worked this time! It usually doesn't on this show.

 

57.                  EPIPHANY, =D

[Yes, it's a nice feeling.]

 

58.                  DROSSEL

I just got the call that she OD’d and it was her uncle. I’m really upset. Conny was related. She got the call.

 

59.                  EVRYN

Which one of you got the call, Drossel? Make up your mind!

 

60.                  DROSSEL

Conny is really high-star-ical. They need 10 grand cause she has no family, hardly.

 

61.                  EVRYN

No family, except for her uncle, and Conny.

 

62.                  DROSSEL

HARDLY.

 

63.                  EVRYN, Cockney as fuck

Hardly no family, guv'na, 'cept her uncle and Conny.

 

64.                  SIGYN

Don't do that again.

 

65.                  EVRYN

Well, I can't imitate his accent without sounding like Fluou, so...

 

66.                  CIN

Anyway, I’m pretty sure if you don’t have family, the county just cremates you for free. So if money’s really an issue, just go “Jane Doe? Don’t know her.”

 

67.                  MARIE

Also, it is really low to be like, “By the way, so-and-so died, can you lend me some money?” Especially when that person isn’t even dead!