Episode 42: Akuma's Miscarriage, part 2 | November 2, 2008 | 6:01 p.m.

 

TITLE

Akuma's Miscarriage, Part 2

 

November 2, 2008

6:01 PM

 

3. ILLYBRIUS

I... wish there was something we can do to make it better, but she can't feed off my power if there's no bond.

 

4. EVRYN

She really fails at being a parasite, doesn't she?

 

5. ORION

Which is my fault.

 

6. EPIPHANY

[Yeah, it is.]

 

7. ILLYBRIUS

I know, but kicking yourself won't do jack.

 

8. EVRYN kicks Orion

 

9. ORION

OW! What was that for?!

 

10. EVRYN

That's so you don't have to kick yourself. I'm more than happy to do it for you.

 

11. ORION

OVD, DO something!

 

12 OVD

Her kick wasn't debilitating. Toughen up and get over it.

 

13 EPIPHANY

[Does this mean I can]

 

14 OVD

No.

 

15 EPIPHANY

[You didn't even let me finish!]

 

16 EVRYN

That's what she said.

 

17 OVD

Exactly my point. It would take too long.

 

18 SERLEINA

AND THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!

 

19 SERLEINA kicks Onion.

 

20 ORION

STOP KICKING ME!

 

21 EPIPHANY

[Wait, why isn't Illybrius kicking Onion?]

 

22 ILLYBRIUS tries to kick Orion, but loses his balance and falls on his butt.

 

23 ORION

I should never have assumed that the two of you had a complete bond. However, she is laying right here with me.

 

24 EVRYN

Wait one second here. First you were trying to kill her, then you put her in a bloody coma, and now you're, what, fucking? Snuggling?

 

25 EPIPHANY

[He did say that he raped her. I forget if that was before or after he put her in a coma.]

 

26 SIGYN

I would say that was hot, but this is Akuma we're talking about.

 

27 DREPANON streaks the stage the other way

IT BUUURRRRRNNNNSS MOOOOOORRRRE!!!!

 

28 EVRYN

What the fuck, dude?

 

29 USAGI

Let's just say, I love a good sponge bath.

 

30 SIGYN

KAWAII!

 

31a REIYA

BURN THE FUJOSHI!

 

31b. MARIE

Drepanon is manifestly not a fujoshi. Do you know what that word means? It means female slash fan.

 

31c. EVRYN

Yeah, Drepanon is a gender-fluid slash fan. Not quite the same thing.

 

32 EPIPHANY

[In any case, maybe if Onion would stand somewhere else that's not right next to her, maybe that would do something.]

 

33 EVRYN

Let's fill a squirt bottle full of Razzlewater and MAKE him stand away from her!

 

34 ORION, now on the other side of the room from Evryn

Would you like to see if she'll respond to you?

 

35 ILLYBRIUS

Yes.

 

36 ORION

Then go right ahead.

 

37 ILLYBRIUS

Akuma. Miss Akuma, can you hear me? Can you see me?

 

38 ORION

Stop for a moment. She's shaking.

 

39 SERLEINA

~ I SWEAR TO GOD I WON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'RE SHAKING~

 

40 OVD

Serleina no.

 

41 SERLEINA

SERLEINA YES!

 

42 ORION

a.  It's fine now. Try again.

b.  Lee? I found out something about her today that would interest you.

 

43 EPIPHANY

[This isn't suspicious at all.]

 

44 ILLYBRIUS

Hmm?

 

45 ORION

She also cries tears of blood. Again, the fault for that is mine. I threw a type of acid in her face once and the damage was enough that it went straight to the soul.

 

46 EPIPHANY

[NO]

[THAT DOESN'T WORK.]

[THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THAT STATEMENT.]

[1. Tears exist to lubricate the eyeball. Blood dries sticky, so it's a terrible lubricant and her eyes would gum shut.]

[2. Tears are spread by the eyelids over the entire front surface of the eye. Blood is opaque. Her eyes would be covered in it and she'd be functionally blind.]

[3. If she had any sort of permanent damage to the tear glands from having acid thrown ON her face, then there should also be extensive external damage to her eyelids, which there isn't.]

[4. Even if we accept your premise that acid can damage souls, shouldn't there be extensive scarring of the body as well, if what you're claiming is the case?]

 

47 ORION

Of course not! It was an acid that only affects the soul.

 

48 EPIPHANY

[5. The circulatory system and the function of the tear glands are both properties of the body, not the soul. Damage to the soul should not cause the body to hook the circulatory system directly into the output of the tear glands.]

 

49 ORION

SHUT UP!

 

50 EPIPHANY

[6. Any "acid" that "only affects the soul" would by definition not be an actual acid, because chemistry doesn't work that way.]

 

51 ORION

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUPPPPP!!!

 

52 EPIPHANY

[Make me. I dare you.]

 

53a-1. ORION throws the water cooler at Epiphany.

 

53a-2. Epiphany is now covered in glitter, and very unimpressed.

 

53b. LENA

Corri-on, I do not appreciate you appropriating acid attacks. That is a real problem in some parts of the world. You want the drama of an acid attack but without the repercussions of permanent physical disfigurement, because God forbid a woman with severe scarring still be found attractive.

 

54a ILLYBRIUS

You're an ass sometimes.

 

54b. AHRRY

NO I'M NOT, I'M A DUCK! BA-CAW!

 

55 ORION

Thank you.

 

56 EPIPHANY

[Assuming you're not talking to Lena,]

[I might be an ass, but I'm also RIGHT.]

[So why are you defending him?]

 

57 ILLYBRIUS

I still—

 

58 EVRYN

—succumb to the influence of the magical date rape pheromones and/or catnip?

 

59 AKUMA

Kibito?

 

60 EPIPHANY

[WHAT.]

 

61 EVRYN

I think she means it as a term of endearment.

 

62 EPIPHANY

[. . .]

 

63 EVRYN

Even so.

 

64 EVRYN poses

Tree?

 

65 ILLYBRIUS

Hmm? Hello. Miss Akuma?

 

66 AKUMA

Kibito?

 

67 EVRYN poses

Tree?

 

68 ILLYBRIUS

Yo.

 

69 EPIPHANY

[NO.]

[DON'T RESPOND TO HER.]

 

70 AKUMA

Kiv?

 

71 ORION

She's asking you why?

 

72 EPIPHANY

[SHE CAN'T EVEN SPELL "KOIBITO" RIGHT.]

[SHE IS A FAILURE AS A WEEABOO.]

[WE MUST BURN HER.]

 

73 REIYA

BURN THE WEEABOO!

 

74 REIYA takes the cooler off to be refilled, then dumps the new Razzlewater on Akuma.

 

75 AKUMA, all glittery

Wehhhhhhhht.

 

76 ILLYBRIUS

Why what?

 

77 AKUMA

WHY WEHHHT??

 

78 SERLEINA

That sounds like a PERSONAL PROBLEM.

 

79 ORION

My guess is for last night.

 

80 SERLEINA

Okay, that's definitely a personal problem.

 

81 AKUMA

Hurts, kibito.

 

82 EPIPHANY

[STOP MANGLING MY MOTHER'S NATIVE TONGUE!]

 

83 EVRYN poses

Tree?

 

84 ILLYBRIUS

Gomennasai.

 

85 EPIPHANY

[. . . I guess I can forgive you. Burning you would be hard.]

 

86 ORION

And there she goes again ruining another set of sheets.

 

87 EPIPHANY

[Wait, I actually made the weeasue soil herself?]

 

88 EVRYN

Yes, because a failure is she.

 

89 REIYA

Are you sure it isn't the Razzlewater?

 

90 EVRYN

A FAILURE IS SHE!

 

91 REIYA

Okay, okay.

 

92 ORION

I am going to give you what I found today. However, only you should look at it, Lee.

 

93a EPIPHANY

[Ewwww.]

 

93b. SIGYN

Is it a dick pic?

 

94 ILLYBRIUS

Yes.

 

95 ORION

Good.

 

96 ILLYBRIUS

I'm going back to Celestia.

 

97 ORION

Very well. It might be for the best. I have her drinking something at least.

 

98 EVRYN

Isn't that Illybrius's absinthe?

 

99 AKUMA is shown drinking Illybrius's absinthe

 

100 EVRYN

Damn. I was hoping you'd feed her Razzlewater. It appears to have an adverse affect on—

 

101 DREPANON streaks the audience

IT NEVER STOPPED BURRRRRNNNNIIIIIINNNNGGGG!

 

102 EPIPHANY

[Put some damn clothes on!]

 

103 SIGYN

HOW DARE YOU THIS IS GREAT

 

104 DREPANON stops dead

...

 

105 SIGYN

...

 

106 DREPANON vanishes in a puff of glitter and ice-swirlies.

 

107 SIGYN

See what you did, Epiphany?

 

108 EPIPHANY

[Mission success!]

 

109 ILLYBRIUS

Sorry it hurts.

 

110 ORION

What does?

 

111 EVRYN

Apparently, Akuma's vagina.

 

112 EPIPHANY

[Applying alcohol to the genitals generally causes that.]

 

113 EVRYN looks at Epiphany

 

114 EPIPHANY points to the absinthe bottle, which has spilled on Akuma's lap.

 

115 EVRYN bursts into laughter.

 

116 ILLYBRIUS

I'm apologising for her pain. She said it hurts.

 

117 ORION

I know. However, this blood will help her.

 

118 EVRYN

What? Since when is she drinking blood?

 

119 AKUMA is drinking from a large soda bottle labeled 'Blood'

 

120 EUGENIE

That's it, young man. Orion Sri-Vaka Enzeru, I hereby banish you to the "However Shame Corner".

 

121 ORION, now in the However Shame Corner

Awwww.

 

122 ILLYBRIUS

Blood is good.

 

123 ORION

Youko blood is even better.

 

124 AKUMA is now drinking from a large soda bottle labeled 'Youko Blood'

 

125 EPIPHANY

[. . . You DO realise that fox spirits are notoriously vengeful, and since you're not human they can hurt/kill you directly, right?]

[As in, they don't have to be all roundabout and tricky like you usually hear about. They can just upfront set your face on fire, eat your liver, and shit on your corpse.]

 

126 OVD

No animals or animal spirits were harmed in the making of this show.

 

127 SIGYN

MY SPIRIT WAS HARMED WHEN EPIPHANY—

 

128 SERLEINA

HUSH YOUR SHUT.

 

129 SIGYN

NO.

 

130 SERLEINA

*ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!*

 

131 SIGYN

But—

 

132 SERLEINA

SORRY, CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE DOORBELL!

 

133 enter CIN

 

134 ILLYBRIUS

Maheone means 'beautiful fool', by the way.

 

135 EVRYN

Fifty bucks says Maheone's imposter's name means 'beautiful tool'.

 

136 EPIPHANY

[You're on.]

 

137 ORION

Look. From what I read even further back, the man came with the tigers as a gift and never gave them a name.

 

138 EVRYN

Didn't someone refer to them as 'Ebimset'?

 

139 EPIPHANY

[I'm not terribly familiar with the language, but is that supposed to be Egyptian?]

[Because, if so, that sounds like a girl's name.]

 

140 EVRYN

I assume it's Weeaboomirumese

 

141 EPIPHANY

[So, Foreign-Sounding Gibberish.]

 

142 EVRYN

Yeah, pretty much

 

143 ORION

So the village gave him the name you read. It very well could have been your Maheone.

 

144 CIN

S'very depressing scripture.

 

145 ILLYBRIUS

Cinnamon, you were NOT supposed to read that. Go to bed.

 

146 EVRYN

Wait, are they talking about Torin's Whiny-Ass Bitch Entry?

 

147 SERLEINA

Muhhhf. And yes.

 

148 exit CIN

 

149 ORION

I realize. And the Seer? It's Akuma and Drake's father.

 

150 ILLYBRIUS

I know.

 

151 ORION

He knew but chose not to do anything.

 

152 ILLYBRIUS

But... Maheone's special creature was the wolverine, not the Ebimset.

 

153 ORION

Look, the tigers were a gift. I found a later thing saying that one of the tigers was actually rather taken with Akuma. I'll be back. I am going to get her more of this drink.

 

154 exit ORION

 

155 EPIPHANY

[Quick, somebody make a meal run and get deep-fried tofu.]

[We might be able to bribe them into only killing Team Corri.]

 

156a OVD

I'd do it myself if it weren't for the contracts.

 

156b. SIGYN

Fuck the contracts.

 

156c OVD

Not a fan of paper cuts or the Thinking Room.

 

156d SIGYN

Fine, then I'LL fuck the contracts.

 

156e OVD

Sit the fuck down and watch the show I'm paying you in Thoughts and Prayers to watch.

 

156f SIGYN

Or I could not do that.

 

156g. exit SIGYN

 

157 ILLYBRIUS

Not doubting that they were a gift, and Maheone was powerful on other realms as well.

 

158 AKUMA

Lee, why did you do that to me? What did I do to deserve this?

 

159 EPIPHANY

[What DIDN'T you do to deserve this. . . whatever it is?]

 

160 EVRYN

I assume rape, so um.

 

161 EPIPHANY

[Oh. Right.]

[Sorry.]

 

162 EVRYN

My question is, what did WE do to deserve THIS?

 

163 AKUMA

Kiv?

 

164 ILLYBRIUS

I—

 

165 AKUMA

I thought I could trust you.

 

166 EPIPHANY

[Wait, is this about their stupid magical bondy thing and oh no, Illybrius slept with a man?]

 

167 EVRYN

... Wouldn't cheating be cheating even if Onion was a woman? Not that him being male bothers Akuma since she's a yaoi fangull, but still. I think either she's blaming Illybrius for Onion raping her, or implying that Illybrius somehow raped her offscreen at some point.

 

168 EPIPHANY

[Not just broke their magical bondy stupid shit?]

 

169 EVRYN

Bzuh. I guess not.

 

170 ILLYBRIUS

I can't be here. I'm sorry.

 

171 AKUMA

Once the child is born, you can have her. I've had enough pain. You and Orion will be happy together.

 

172 EPIPHANY

[Your martyr complex is showing.]

 

173 ILLYBRIUS

I'm sorry. I... thought you'd be pleased with a child. My methods, I know, were questionable.

 

174 EVRYN

Wait, so he DID rape her offscreen?

 

175a EPIPHANY

[We just don't know!]

 

175b. MARIE

Maybe she just read the prophecy. The world will never know.

 

176 DREPANON reappears, thankfully with clothes on.

*I* know.

 

177 OVD

You haven't debuted yet. Go away.

 

178a DREPANON

What are you talking about? I debuted in April.

 

178b. enter SIGYN

 

178c. SIGYN, holding a box with FRIED TOFU written on it.

He was here in Part 1, even.

 

179a OVD

The show didn't start till late October! But don't worry, we've got a team of Hufflepuffs on a mission to FIND the scripts for all episodes prior to then!

 

179b. SIGYN, with her tofu

Okay, but—

 

180 DREPANON

Why does it have to be SPARES?

 

181 MARIE

Excuse you, who did you just call a spare?

 

182 DREPANON

KILL THE SPARE!

 

183 OVD

NO.

 

184 ragequit DREPANON

 

185 MARIE

He can't kill me if I let the house badger remove his face first.

 

186 SIGYN

No, not the face! Not his beautiful faaace!

 

187 EVRYN

Um, are you both forgetting that he's a severely Sue-ted up demon? I doubt the Badger of Finding could hurt him.

 

188 MARIE

The Badger of Finding is trying its best.

 

189 DREPANON, offstage but still condescendingly

I'm sure it is.

 

190 ILLYBRIUS

I love you.

 

191a EVRYN takes a shot

 

191b. SIGYN

Weird, but okay. Not like I can talk.

 

192 ILLYBRIUS

You probably hate me by now. I'm sorry.

 

193a AKUMA

I don't hate you. I could never hate you. But I just am not sure how you could do that to me. Even after what Orion did to me.

 

193b. EVRYN

Don't you mean, "ESPECIALLY" after what Onion did to you?

 

193c. AKUMA

Don't talk down to me! Unlike Orion, I can *read*. That's what my line said!

 

193d. EVRYN

Okay, then I feel like CORRI meant "especially" after what Onion did.

 

193e. AKUMA

What are you talking about? Corri isn't involved in this.

 

193f. SIGYN

She's too busy "falling" down the stairs.

 

193g. MARIE

SIGYN.

 

193h. SIGYN

I'm not wrong~

 

194 ILLYBRIUS

He made me feel terrible because of the ... prophecy... and my affair with him. I didn't realise there was still time. It was rash.

 

195 EVRYN

Speaking of rashes, listening to you wangst back and forth is giving me hives.

 

196 AKUMA

You could have asked.

 

197 EVRYN

Have you forgotten? No one ever asks anyone anything and gets a direct answer!

 

198 ILLYBRIUS

You are the Meliara of Fertility. You can choose not to have that child and we can try again in a more consensual situation. You are right, I know.

 

199 EPIPHANY

[. . . "Well, you could always just have an abortion" is just as terrible an excuse as "Well, it's not like you can get pregnant."]

 

200 AKUMA

I don't know what I want to do. Everything is just so...

 

201 ILLYBRIUS

I should never have—

 

202 AKUMA

I would have given you anything. You only had to ask. I wouldn't have refused.

 

203a EVRYN

Then what the fuck is even the problem— and please note, Social Justice crowd, I am ONLY asking that because it's Akuma.

 

203b. LENA stows the Soapbox with a disgruntled expression.

 

204 ILLYBRIUS

I—I wish it hadn't happened.

 

205 AKUMA

I just wish you had asked. Are you happy? You are bonded and have a little girl on the way.

 

206 EPIPHANY

[. . . Priorities?]

 

207 EVRYN

I think she's being passive-aggressive or martyr-ish

 

208 ILLYBRIUS

I want to be bonded with my Miss Akuma. I want you to be happy.

 

209 AKUMA

I can't bond with you right now. The child is draining my magic.

 

210 EPIPHANY

[Holy hyperparasitism, Batman!]

 

211 AKUMA

What?

 

212 EPIPHANY

[Yo dawg, I hear you like parasites, so I put a parasite in your parasite so you can host while you host.]

 

213 ILLYBRIUS

Can you let me reform it?

 

214 AKUMA

You can try.

 

215 EVRYN

But alas, you will fail, because the parasite is destined to be a delinquent much like Weeasuema here.

 

216 ILLYBRIUS

I tried last night. It didn't work, did it? I can meditate over music and it often helps me focus.

 

217 ILLYBRIUS takes drink

 

218 ILLYBRIUS

 Tastes like bananas.

 

219 EPIPHANY

[Oh no! He's noticed that I spiked the drink with isoamyl acetate]

 

220 EVRYN

What's that?

 

221 EPIPHANY

[Artificial banana flavour.]

[It's used as a signal pheromone by honeybees.]

 

222 EPIPHANY

[They should drop down from the ceiling and start attacking his mouth when I press this button.]

 

223 EPIPHANY presses button

 

224 A swarm of bees comes down from the ceiling and starts attacking Illybrius's mouth

 

225 EVRYN

Let me guess. That drink was initially intended for Drepanon as revenge for the Hufflepuff jab.

 

226 EPIPHANY

[HELL no. I'm a Ravenclaw.]

 

227 META

A Raisinpaw, you say?

 

228 EPIPHANY

[Do you happen to have bees in your ears?]

 

229 EVRYN

You mean eyes.

 

230 EPIPHANY

[Oh.]

[You're right.]

[Eyes.]

 

231 META

Of course not! Everyone knows the houses of Hogwarts! Slytherin! Gryffindor! Raisinpaw! And Jigglypuff!

 

232 REIYA

~ Jigglypuff, jig-a-ly~

 

233 AKUMA

No.

 

234 EVRYN

Yeah, no. Also, fuck you for making me agree with Aksuema.

 

235 AKUMA

Nyah~

 

236 EVRYN

Also, you missed your girlfriend fapping to your dad streaking the studio.

 

237 SERLEINA

THREE TIMES!

 

238 META

Ew. I didn't need to know about that.

 

239 MARIE

Yes. Yes, you did.

 

240 USAGI, quietly

And then I fucked your daughter.

 

241 META

What was that?

 

242 USAGI, clearly

I said, "Would you care for some water'" It's got the old Razzledazzle in it.

 

243 SERLEINA

GO INSANE, GO INSANE, THROW SOME GLITTER, MAKE IT RAIN ON HIM!

 

244 REIYA

OKAY!

 

245 META is now wet, glittery, and on fire.

 

246 MARIE

Aw yeah!

 

247 SIGYN

Oh HELL NO! I call upon the power of Poseidon!

 

248 THE STUDIO is now completely flooded.

 

249 SERLEINA, doggy paddling with her head just above water level

NICE GOING, POSEIDON. NO, REALLY. THAT WAS GREAT.

 

250 AKUMA

WEHHHHTTT!

 

251 SERLEINA

OH MY GOD YOU DON'T FUCKING SAY. GEE. I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED.

 

252 AKUMA

I CAN'T SWIM!

 

253 REIYA

That sounds like a PERSONAL PROBLEM!

 

254 EVRYN

What I want to know is why she's calling upon the power of a Greek god?

 

255 SIGYN

Welllll, the Allfather is pissed off at me, and Zeus is too busy fucking around to care if any of *his* fellow gods help me.

 

256 OVD

The water level is reaching the ceiling! Evacuate!

 

257

a.        EVERYONE swims out the window, except Akuma, who flails around and then sinks like a stone.

b.        Epiphany begins to sink, but Evryn catches her and her chair and hoists them onto her back.

c.        Illybrius lets his wings out and dives for Akuma; he gets her out of the building on his back.

d.        Outside the building, the water level isn't any lower.

 

258 MARIE

Sigyn, what the actual fuck?

 

259 SIGYN

Meta was in danger! What do you expect?

 

260 MARIE

He'd get over it!

 

261 SIGYN

Yes, and I'm sure you would have gotten over being called a spare. Nyehhhh.

 

262 MARIE

I've got the Badger of Finding right here, you know. Still grumpy about what happened to Cedric.

 

263 SIGYN

Well then it's a good thing you live in a floating house.

 

264 SERLEINA

Hey guys, I just realized. Where did OVD go?

 

265 OVD, from the far right

LAND HO!

 

266 EVRYN

That's not very comforting, considering that he can project his voice up to ten miles.

 

267 EVERYBODY ELSE groans.

 

268

a.        Time passes. Dry land is eventually reached.

b.        SETTING: Niland, CA

 

269 OVD

Good fucking job. We had to go all the way to the fucking desert to escape that fucking flood. Don't EVER do that again.

 

270 SIGYN

I won't, as long as my Meta isn't in danger!~

 

271 MARIE

The Badger of Finding makes no promises.

 

272 EVRYN

Okay, but one question, Marie. Why must you punish, uhhh, the younger annoying demon for the sins of his father?

 

273 SERLEINA

He IS one of the sins of his father!

 

274 EVRYN

Oh. Good point.

 

275 OVD

Now, Illybrius and Akuma were talking about re-forming their bond.

 

276 MARIE

Does that mean they're going to do the do?

 

277 SERLEINA

A KICK IN THE CHERRIES!

 

278 EVRYN

No, that's just Code Red.

 

279 AKUMA

If you couldn't do it then that means I have to or I have to get Corri to. Oh sweet goddesses, Corri. She can't know! PLEASE DON'T LET HER KNOW!

 

280 EVRYN

I'm pretty sure she drowned back upstate, actually.

 

281 ILLYBRIUS

REJOICE!

 

282 SERLEINA

YOU'VE MADE AN EXCELL— wait. No. You did this to defend Meta. Never mind.

 

283 ILLYBRIUS

I won't tell her. Get her to reform the bond if you can, without letting her know.

 

284 EVRYN

Does this mean we have to revive her, though?

 

285 AKUMA

She'll know. Empath, remember?

 

286 EPIPHANY

[Then why are you begging HIM to not tell her? Shouldn't you be begging yourself? Or begging ME to get a guy I know to prescribe you a really high dose of mood stabilisers and cyanide?]

 

287 EVRYN

Hey, OVD, can I—

 

288 OVD

No, you may not give Weeasuema cyanide poisoning.

 

289 EVRYN

Dammit!

 

290 ILLYBRIUS, simultaneously

Damn.

 

291 ILLYBRIUS

But empath doesn't necessarily mean telepath. Ash is a powerful empath and he cannot read minds, only emotions.

 

292 TOKIOMI

Can we NOT talk about Ash, maybe?

 

293 MARIE

Ever again?

 

294 AKUMA

She can also feel an unborn child, Illybrius. She's done it before.

 

295 ILLYBRIUS

You cannot shield her from feeling it. I see.

 

296 AKUMA

Not without magic, which I don't have now. I can't ever make a portal to leave.

 

297 EVRYN

Now you're thinking with stupidity. Now you're just not thinking.

 

298 REIYA

And DEFINITELY not thinking with portals!

 

299 ILLYBRIUS

Damn! If you and I were still bonded, I could just feed you the power you need. This is frustrating!

 

300 AKUMA

You broke it.

 

301. REIYA

Nice job breaking it, hero.

 

302 ILLYBRIUS

Not deliberately. One thing's bothering me.

 

303 EPIPHANY

[Only one?]

 

304 ILLYBRIUS

One and a half.

 

305 EPIPHANY

[That still seems pretty low.]

 

306 ILLYBRIUS

You're the "half".

 

307 EPIPHANY

[That hurt.]

 

308 ILLYBRIUS

My apologies. You're not half a "thing". You're just a half-pint.

 

309 EPIPHANY

[Okay, that I'll admit to.]

 

310 SIGYN

Damn, Illybrius, why so salty?

 

311 SERLEINA

Well, you did just cause a high tide and almost drown us in the FUCKING OCEAN.

 

312 AKUMA

I didn't think you would ever sleep with him either.

 

313. EPIPHANY

[Wait, what?]

[Oh! You mean Onion?]

 

314 ILLYBRIUS

As I am not of your clan by blood, why does your 'first bond complete prior to second bond beginning' apply to me?

 

315 AKUMA

An Enzeru can only form one bond at a time and the person must be putting everything to the bond.

 

316 EVRYN

Including the kitchen sink?

 

317 ROSEMARY

If Thyme is the end of us all, does that imply that we are the ends of Thyme?

 

318 EVRYN

I didn't know your daughter was the end of us all!

 

319 AKUMA

You didn't put everything to our bond.

 

320 EVRYN

He must've forgotten the kitchen sink.

 

321 AKUMA

Instead, you mated with Orion, who resides in an Enzeru vessel.

 

322 EPIPHANY

[I FUCKING CALLED IT.]

 

323 AKUMA

That means because you climaxed together, the marriage bond between the two of you was created first and it erased my incomplete bond with you because we didn't climax together.

 

324 EVRYN

Epiphany, on a scale of 1 - 100, how stupid is that?

 

325 EPIPHANY

[Yes.]

 

326 AKUMA

Understand?

 

327 ROSEMARY

No, I don't understand any of it. It seems that life is controlled by people who want to make it as senseless and miserable as possible.

 

328 OVD

WELCOME TO CINEMA~

 

329 MARIE

OVD, anachronisms!

 

330 OVD

*fart noise*

 

331 ILLYBRIUS

Again, I am not of your clan by birth, so why should this apply to me? I am Falcon first and foremost.

 

332 AKUMA

It doesn't apply to you, it applied to me and Orion. You were just the go-between because it was another Enzeru you mated to.

 

333 EPIPHANY

[That's stupid. You're making this up as you go along.]

 

334a OVD

Sigyn, next time you flood the studio, chain Illybrius up first—

 

334b SERLEINA

KINKY!

 

334c. SIGYN

Serleina, what? Isn't he your *brother*?

 

334d. SERLEINA

I'm not going to stand here and be incest-shamed by *you*.

 

334e OVD

— so that no-one saves Akuma. I'm pretty sure your flood deactivated the Thinking Room.

 

335 ILLYBRIUS

I wish somebody had made me aware of this prior to.

 

336. (show the Thinking Room, with a scare chord)