Episode 82. Being an Adult is SUFFERING! | November 9, 2008 at 1:42 a.m.

 1.             TITLE

Being an Adult is SUFFERING!

 

2.    November 9, 2008 (2014) | 1:42 AM

 

3.             EVRYN

WHY ARE WE AWAKE FOR THIS SHIT.

 

4.             EPIPHANY

[ I don't sleep, but I do get rigor mortis, and it's very bad at this time of night.]

 

5.             DROSSEL

I’m so done with being an adult.

 

6.             SIGYN

I spent the past four days in the docks tagging clothes I can’t afford with security pins for eight hours and took yesterday off early because my ankle was hurting too much to stand.

 

7.             DROSSEL

Okay, you have it physically worse.

 

8.             EVRYN

She's not playing Pain Olympics, you clod. This isn't Corri.

 

9.             SIGYN

I feel bad about clocking out early because I need to earn as much as possible for Meta.

 

10.        EVRYN

Why can't Meta earn money for himself? He's the same age as you and presumably high-functioning.

 

11.        SIGYN

I’m basically a pampered teenager who wanted to be a housewife, but that didn’t work out—

 

12.        EVRYN

Of course it didn't work out. You're not legally old enough to get married without your guardian's consent.

 

13.        SIGYN

--so I had to go to trade school in the hopes that I would get a real job.

 

14.        EVRYN

Like Meta should! Get a real job, I mean, not just use the trade school intra-thingum to travel from State A to State B.

 

15.        SIGYN

a)            And the first “real job” that wanted me is physical labor to which I’m not accustomed because I spent most of my life sitting on my ass reading and/or knitting.

b)            So I’m constantly sore and constantly tired, can’t afford to feed myself, and have to rely on a combination of my uncle’s food stamps and the kindness of my coworkers.

 

16.        DROSSEL

Well, everyone has to start doing shit they don’t like. But there’s things to do. Could tell you things that can fix your issue, kinda.

 

17.        EVRYN

She’s not asking you to fix her issues. She’s telling you to stop whinging about YOURS.

 

18.        SIGYN

That’s not the point. I’m not complaining about working. I actually do like my job, even if it’s low pay and not in my trade.

 

19.        DROSSEL

I know, I’m trying to help.

 

20.        EVRYN

Stop trying so hard and just listen. Maybe you’ll learn something. Clod.

 

21.        DROSSEL

My name's not Claude, it's Drossel.

 

22.        EVRYN

Oh my God, that's even WORSE.

 

23.        SIGYN

a)  I don’t care about the work itself.

b)  I care about making money for Meta so that HE doesn’t have to deal with Job Corps’ crap any longer than it takes for me to find and sign off on a low-income apartment.

 

24.        DROSSEL

I can help… I have been saying that…

 

25.        EVRYN

Again, stop speaking and start listening.

 

26.        EPIPHANY

[ I know that every time you talk to somebody you're asking for help (read: money), but not everybody is you.]

[Just as not everybody can be me.]

 

27.        SIGYN

a)  I’m doing this for myself and for us.

b)  I’m not hitting up my mom for money.

c)   I’m not asking people I passed in the halls one time.

d)  I’m doing this myself, for us, because it’s necessary.

e)  Because this is the adult thing to do.

f)     Dude, you’re hitting people up for large sums of money.

g)  You can’t help me with anything financial when you can’t even help yourself and your wife and your soon-to-be son.

h)  I’m making the point that in life, you can’t rely on people.

i)     If you’ve got people that offer to help you out, that’s great, but it’s not good to make a habit of relying on the resources and generosity of others.

 

28.        ROMAIN

Would you mind if I showed this very episode to my friend Anita?

 

29.        EVRYN

Anita, Dural's sister? Like she'd understand.

 

30.        SIGYN

a)  I’m trying to stand on my own two aching feet right now, and Meta knows that to lead the life he wants to, he’s going to have to do the same.

b)  I’m just giving him a place to live. And food. And sex.

c)   Other than that, he works toward his own goals.

d)  THAT is the adult thing to do.

 

31.        DROSSEL

Well, you made me sound bad…

 

32.        EVRYN

That’s your problem~

 

33.        DROSSEL

a)  I was offering help…

b)  I heard something for low-income people who need help, shit.

c)   Fuck, forget I said anything.

 

34.        EVRYN

Are you still here? Are you still talking?

 

35.        DROSSEL

Only asked cause I didn’t qualify. Whatever. Bye. I don’t rely on people, by the way.

 

36.        SERLEINA

SOMEONE’S BUTTHURT~

 

37.        SIGYN

For the record, I wasn’t trying to make you sound bad or feel bad, and I’m sorry if it came out that way.

 

38.        EPIPHANY

[No, don't apologize. That was a valid call-out.]

 

39.        DROSSEL

I AM DOING THE ADULT THING, I ASKED FOR GODDAMN HELP WHEN I NEEDED IT, I NEVER ASKED FOR HELP BEFORE, I JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP, I HAVE PROOF I CAN PAY IT BACK!

 

40.        EPIPHANY

[Sorry, can't hear you over all the capslock.]

 

41.        SERLEINA

YEAH, TONE IT DOWN!

 

42.        DROSSEL

I FOUND SOMETHING TO HELP YOU TO SEE IF YOU QUALIFY, WHICH I DIDN’T BECAUSE CONNY HAS FINANCIAL AID FOR SCHOOL, SHIT, YOU JUMP AT ME, DUDE, I HAVE TOO MUCH SHIT TO STRESS ON, I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING AND YOU TELL ME I RELY ON PEOPLE—

 

43.        EVRYN

Really? When did she say that?

 

44.        EPIPHANY

[Yeah, you rely on them to fall for your cons.]

 

45.        DROSSEL

I DON’T—

 

46.  EPIPHANY presses the Bullshit Button

 

47.        DROSSEL

a)  I USED TO HAVE A JOB, I CAME HERE TO GET A BETTER LIFE, I HAVE ONE, BUT I NEED HELP TO FIX MY LIFE AND GET OVER THE HUMP TILL MY JOB STARTS!

b)  IT’S NOT ADULT TO ASK FOR HELP!

c)   IT TAKES A GROWN-ASS MAN TO ADMIT HE’S FAILING FOR 43 DAYS—

 

48.        EVRYN

Trust me, dearie, you’ve been failing a whole lot longer than that.

 

49.        DROSSEL

SO WHATEVER, I GIVE UP, I WAS GOING TO HELP YOU—

 

50.        EPIPHANY

[When she didn't ask for help.]

[And repeatedly told you she didn't need your help.]

[Don't pretend the problem here is her being ungrateful. She's a lot of unpleasant things, but she's not ungrateful.]

 

51.        EVRYN

Why don’t you try helping yourself first?

 

52.        SIGYN

I actually didn't tell you that you rely on people; I simply said that I don't.

 

53.        DROSSEL

You implied it, whatever, I’m done asking people for help, the one time I need it.  I’m doing the best I can.

 

54.        EVRYN

By bellowing and sulking? Yeah, you’re making a real effort there.

 

55.        EPIPHANY

[ If you feel so attacked, maybe there's a reason for that.]

 

56.        REIYA

Take a good look at yourself, you dumbclut.

 

57.        SIGYN

I was talking about myself and my situation. I rarely think about anyone other than myself, except Meta. Why do you take it so personally?