CAST NOTES
Illybrius
is wearing a vest.
Akuma is
wearing a tank top
1.
11/07/08
(Akuma and Illybrius Complete Their Bond) | 8:00 PM
2.
AKUMA
Still, I haven’t destroyed myself yet because she
allowed me to form a bond.
3.
EVRYN
Because she had to. Because it was in
her bleeding contract. She
even said it herself.
4.
AKUMA
The one with her, however, is nothing
more than a slavery bond. A marriage bond will erase it.
5.
EVRYN
Although, in Remirum, aren’t marriage and slavery essentially
the same thing?
6.
EPIPHANY
[Now,
see, in some places, in some time periods, that was pretty much how marriage
worked, and it could be a pretty interesting concept to explore. . . in a show
where it's not just pandering to one of the writers' fetishes.]
7.
ILLYBRIUS
This time, I will complete it.
8.
EVRYN
Ugh, here we go, another lights-out
scene.
9.
OVD
Not yet, Fred!
10.
AKUMA
Good.
11.
SERLEINA
WAIT,
AKUMA’S
ON BOARD WITH IT NOT GOING TO LIGHTS-OUT YET? WOW. MAYBE SHE’S NOT AS DESPERATE AS I THOUGHT SHE
WAS! OH NO, WAIT, SHE IS. HEY! AHRRY! LET’S SNORT COCAINE OUT OF HER ASS!
12.
AKUMA
And no chance of a baby again this
time. My body isn’t healed enough for one.
13.
EPIPHANY
[You
mean, it hasn't built back up your endometrial lining?]
14.
EVRYN
Yes!
15.
ILLYBRIUS
Good; while I am ready to… make love to you, I am not ready for
more children just yet.
16.
AKUMA
The pouch that would normally protect
the child was cut out and takes four months to come back. We are safe.
17.
EPIPHANY
[WHAT.]
[Are
you trying to say that you're a marsupial, or that you had a hysterectomy?]
18.
EVRYN,
deadpan
She's a marsupial
19.
EPIPHANY
[I
don't even.]
20.
ILLYBRIUS
Would you mind walking me through
this again?
21.
AKUMA
Which part?
22.
ILLYBRIUS
All of it?
23.
EPIPHANY
[The
parts that involve you being a marSuepial]
24.
AKUMA
You are hopeless.
25.
CINNAMON
I was about to say the same thing.
26.
EVRYN
When a mummy and a daddy get really,
really bored and there’s nothing good on TV… Seriously, dude, if you don’t already know all that, how did you
manage to make as many children as you have?
27.
MARIE
No, I think he wants her to walk him
step by step through the lore of how these weirdos reproduce.
28.
AKUMA
Ask me anything and I will answer it.
I have nothing to hide.
29.
EPIPHANY starts laughing
30.
ILLYBRIUS
How do we create a marriage bond,
other than making love, for which I thankfully do not need an instruction
manual?
31.
AKUMA
The partial bond is already in place.
32.
EVRYN
But last episode, you said it had
been dissolved when Illybrius bonded with Orion.
33.
EPIPHANY
[And,
continuity aside, that doesn't even explain anything.]
34.
AKUMA
It will turn into a marriage bond—
35.
EVRYN
Wait, d’you mean your slavery bond with Désmoda?
36.
AKUMA
—when we make love and climax
together.
37.
SIGYN
I'm so glad Désmoda has higher
standards than to bang Akuma.
38.
EVRYN
Why does this have to involve
simultaneous orgasms?
39.
EPIPHANY
[Because
the idea makes Corri all hot and bothered]
40.
AKUMA
Understand?
41.
EVRYN
No. Isn't that what it was to make
the other one in the first place?
42.
ILLYBRIUS
Yes.
43.
EPIPHANY
[This
is very inconsistent.]
44.
REIYA
What is consistency?
45.
SEI-SEI
Something you eat! And I ate
it all!
46.
CINNAMON
I’ll butt out now, but may I just say, I’m frikkin’ relieved about him not needing an
instruction manual for sex.
47.
EVRYN
That makes two of us.
48.
EPIPHANY
[Three]
49.
DÉSMODA
Four!
50.
JEPH
AND FLUOU, with SERLEINA aloud:
[SEVEN!]
[SEVEN!]
SEVEN!
51.
ILLYBRIUS
Yes, yes, off with you, Cinnamon.
52.
[exit
CINNAMON]
53.
AKUMA
I might need it.
54.
EVRYN
You’re pathetic.
55.
AKUMA
I shouldn’t have said that. Ignore it.
56.
EVRYN
That should apply to everything you’ve ever said in your life.
57.
ILLYBRIUS
Let me kiss you.
58.
AKUMA
You can. I won’t deny you anything.
59.
EPIPHANY
[Translation:
YOU BETTER NOT HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW WONDERFUL AND NEEDLESSLY MARTYRY I AM]
60.
ILLYBRIUS
Nor I you. In fact, I would prefer
being the submissive one this time.
61.
EVRYN
Ready your strap-on, Akuma!
62.
AKUMA
I would rather not. I… this is embarrassing.
63.
EVRYN
Your face is embarrassing.
64.
AKUMA
I have never willingly done this.
65.
MARIE
That's not embarrassing. That's
horrifying.
66.
EVRYN
Well whoopty-tap-dancing-doo, I’ve never done it at all. We’ve all got problems.
67.
SERLEINA
THEN
WHY DID YOU STEAL MY FURRY ROBOT DICK?!
68.
AKUMA
Désmoda ordered me to! I had no
choice!
69.
DÉSMODA
Heeheeheeheeheeeeeeee
70.
AKUMA
I’m a bit out of my comfort zone.
71.
EVRYN
Well, so am I and you don’t see me whining about it. Grousing,
constantly. Whining, no.
72.
EPIPHANY
[Illybrius, you forgot the most important thing about Akuma.]
[She is a passive entity that can't do ANYTHING on her own,
ever.]
[She
exists only to have things happen TO her.]
73.
TOKIOMI
I mean, I think you should give her
props for realistically being embarrassed to talk about her past as a rape
survivor and this being her first consensual sexual encounter.
74.
EVRYN
Okay, A.) Stopped clocks, and B.) We
all know Corri's getting off on this, so no, I'm not going to give her props.
Yeah, if it were anyone else, this would be horrifying, and if anyone else is
going through continuous rape, they should probably get the authorities
involved. But Akuma's not a real person, she's a plot device and a proxy for
Corri to get her rocks off.
75.
TOKIOMI
I mean, technically none of us are
real people. Except maybe Marie.
76.
MARIE
I'm a caricature of a real person.
77.
ILLYBRIUS
Oh.
78.
AKUMA
Yeah.
79.
ILLYBRIUS
With what would you be comfortable?
80.
AKUMA
I don’t know. Please, just… whatever you want. I’m a quick learner.
81.
EPIPHANY
[Translation:
Did you miss the part where I'm a passive entity that can't do ANYTHING on my
own, least of all make choices?]
82.
EVRYN
facepalms
Why couldn’t one of your previous partners have
been one of those serial-rapist-murderers? He would have made the world
such a better place.
83.
EPIPHANY
[Because
then Corri would have to invent a new Sue to force people to impose choices
on.]
84.
MARIE
Holy shit, you guys. I know we went
over the fact that these characters aren't real people, but holy shit, you
guys.
85.
TOKIOMI
I'm going to point out that Akuma
responded to "What is your comfort level?" with, "I'm a quick
learner," which is, again, a realistic response.
86.
ILLYBRIUS
This is extremely awkward.
87.
MARIE
That is also true.
88.
EVRYN
Sorry, but I can’t leave. I’m Commentary.
89.
ILLYBRIUS
You see, I… I have not willingly slept with
anybody other than Orion, Rabbit, and apparently Chopped Liver.
90.
EVRYN
I have no recollection who that is.
Thankfully not me.
91.
CINNAMON is wearing a nametag that reads
CHOPPED LIVER
HELLO?!
92.
EVRYN
I was KIDDING, gods!
93.
AKUMA
So… you were never with a woman?
94.
EVRYN
Are you shitting me? He fucked half
of Peruru Village! The FEMALE half!
95.
ILLYBRIUS
I was with plenty, but never… never when I’d wanted to, except perhaps once, but
she had no idea what was going on.
96.
EVRYN
That would be Fennel. You dirty,
dirty man.
97.
SIGYN
I think it was Larlia, actually. And
that she knew exactly what was going on and hated it. She misnamed him.
98.
EVRYN
Of course that's the part of
the lore you pay attention to.
99.
AKUMA
I’m sure we can manage.
100.
ILLYBRIUS
I’m willing now, of course, but… but I… I’ve only ever been truly dominant with men.
101.
EVRYN
What the fuck? What about Larlia?
102.
AKUMA
So am I, but except—
103.
EVRYN
You’re not supposed to use “but” and “except” together.
104.
AKUMA
—I was normally either half-dead—
105.
EVRYN
Damn your rapists for doing it
half-assed!
106.
AKUMA
—or in too much pain already to
notice what was being done, to know what to do now.
107.
FLUOU
[Translation:
Sticks and stones may break her bones, but whips and chains excite her. So
throw her down, tie her up, and show her that you like her.]
108. ILLYBRIUS holds Akuma close and kisses her
gently.
109.
EPIPHANY
[YOU'RE
DOING IT WRONG.]
110.
TOKIOMI
YOU GUYS!
111.
AKUMA
Lee?
112.
ILLYBRIUS
Hmm?
113.
AKUMA
I can feel that.
114.
EVRYN
Well, yeah. You’re not roofied up at the moment.
115.
AKUMA
It’s … nice. And you’re so warm. Ir vran.
116.
EPIPHANY
[He's
a fire god, you stupid asparagus.]
117.
ILLYBRIUS
If I weren’t, you’d know for certain that there was
something wrong.
118.
EVRYN
All of this is horribly, horribly wrong!
119.
TOKIOMI
You don't have room to talk.
120.
MARIE
Especially after that nonsense you
spouted this very episode.
121.
AKUMA
Sorry. I have a very low body temp,
which means you feel really good.
122.
EPIPHANY
[If
I point out that my body temperature is lower than hers on account of my being
dead, do you think she'll try to one-up me?]
123.
AKUMA
Well I sleep on a bed of ice, so
there!
124.
EPIPHANY
cackles.
[hA!
YOU SLEEP! HOW CONVENIENT!]
125. AKUMA and ILLYBRIUS kiss.
126.
EPIPHANY makes a face.
127.
AKUMA
I think I like your kisses.
128.
ILLYBRIUS
I know I like yours.
129.
AKUMA
Thanks.
130. ILLYBRIUS kisses Akuma gently while wrapping
arms around her waist.
131.
AKUMA
I don’t want this to end.
132.
EVRYN
I do.
133.
AKUMA
Please don’t let this be another dream.
134.
EVRYN
I know this isn’t one of my dreams. I never have
nightmares this bad.
135.
ILLYBRIUS
I’m real.
136.
AKUMA
I know.
137.
EVRYN
You wouldn’t know reality if it bit you in the
arse.
138.
EPIPHANY
[She
just admitted that her previous line was bullshit.]
139.
EVRYN
Exactly.
140.
AKUMA
Ir vran. Ir bedn vran.
141.
EVRYN
And now she's making up words and
being mushy to distract the audience.
142.
SIGYN
Actually, she said, “So warm, so very warm” or something to that effect.
143.
EVRYN
Holy shit, you know Dridarien?
144.
SIGYN holds up a book marked ENCYCLOPEDIA
No, but Virgil here has a Fake
Language Database.
145.
THE
ENCYCLOPEDIA (Virgil)
I speak fluent Simlish. And I read
fluent dickbutts.
146.
AKUMA
I want to be with you and only you.
147.
ILLYBRIUS
I … adore you.
148.
EVRYN
No, the word you’re looking for is “abhor.”
149.
AKUMA
I love you.
150.
EVRYN takes a shot
151.
ILLYBRIUS
I love you too.
152.
EVRYN takes a shot
153.
EVRYN
We already know that, since “adore” is a synonym for “love”.
154.
AKUMA
Vest off. And my shirt will go too.
Deal?
155.
EPIPHANY
[And there you go breaking character to accelerate the arrival
of Corri's porn.]
[You
should be ashamed of yourself.]
156.
ILLYBRIUS
*chuckles*
157.
EVRYN
See? Even Illybri-stu agrees.
158.
ILLYBRIUS
Deal. Now, shall we remove each
other’s top coverings
or our own?
159.
SERLEINA
I think you should rock-paper-scissors for it.
160.
AKUMA
It doesn’t matter to me. I’m only wearing a tank top.
161.
EVRYN
Fred, hit the bloody lights!
162. [/agequit EPIPHANY]
163. [LIGHTS OUT and the following is heard]
164.
WT
Illybrius
slides his hands under the sides of Akuma's tank top and pushes it up.
165.
(Illybrius)
Arms up.
166.
(Akuma)
Okay.
167.
WT
a)
Akuma lifts her arms while blushing.
b)
Illybrius gently peels the top off.
c)
Akuma shivers.
d)
Illybrius holds her close.
168.
(Illybrius)
Better?
169.
(Akuma)
Goddesses, ir'e grivmh breu
dilake.
170.
(Illybrius)
Hmm?
171.
(Akuma)
You are damned hot.
172.
(Sigyn):
How is the Dridarien word
for “hot” not in any way similar to
their word for “warm”?
173.
(Virgil):
Barring
the obvious explanation that Dridarien is a completely made-up, and I use this
word loosely, “language”,
one could also argue that the word “hot”, in this context, is the colloquial
synonym for “sexy”,
rather than a reference to Illybrius’s
temperature.
174.
(Reiya)
Also, our words for
"hot" and "warm" are "hot" and "warm".
175.
(Drepanon)
I'm glad someone on this set is
literate.
176.
(Sigyn)
Oh gods, yes.
177.
(Drepanon)
... I should go.
178.
(Illybrius)
Fire and earth elemental.
179.
(Virgil):
My
argument seems to be completely lost on Illybrius himself.
180.
(Akuma)
Show-off.
181.
(Virgil):
No,
I’m just naturally more intelligent than
you.
182.
(Drepanon)
Everyone is more naturally
intelligent than Akuma.
183.
(Evryn)
I thought you were gone?
184.
(Drepanon)
I said that I should go, not
that I would.
185.
(Evryn)
Fine, but you've got only
yourself to blame for the Audience hitting on you.
186.
WT
Illybrius
pulls away and begins unbuttoning his vest.
187.
(Illybrius)
You can access those powers as
well, you know.
188.
(Evryn):
All you need is the password.
It’s probably something dumb, like
“password.”
189.
(Akuma)
You are... amazing.
190.
(Evryn):
I know I am. Wish I could say
the same for you.
191.
(Akuma)
And I can only use the
fire.
192.
(Illybrius)
Hmm...
193.
WT
Illybrius
frowns in thought.
194.
(Illybrius)
Well, perhaps that might
change.
195.
(Marie)
Maybe you two should have negotiated this OOC first.
196.
(Akuma)
OOC DOESN'T EXIST! HOW DARE
YOU?
197.
(Marie)
Oh. My insincerest of apologies.
198.
(Evryn)
We've actually already
discussed why Akuma is never going to use the earth magic, though.
199.
(Illybrius)
Are you going to help me with
the buttons?
200.
(Akuma)
I guess.
201.
WT
Akuma
unbuttons a few.
202.
(Akuma)
I... need you.
203.
WT
a)
Illybrius smiles and kisses Akuma's forehead
tenderly, then undoes the snap on his jeans.
b)
Akuma is blushing furiously.
204.
(Akuma)
Umm... Lee? Am I supposed
to feel like this?
205.
(Illybrius)
Like what?
206.
WT
Akuma
gets even redder.
207.
(Akuma)
I'm... getting... wet.
208.
(Evryn):
That reminds me. Can I pour the
cooler over her head after the show?
209.
(OVD)
Yes.
210.
(Evryn):
SWEET!
211.
(Reiya)
Just because she's never
had sex before doesn't mean she shouldn't understand arousal.
212.
(Sigyn)
I mean, to be fair,
Drepanon would make almost anyone wet.
213.
(Evryn)
No, not really.
214.
(Illybrius)
Yes, that is normal.
215.
(Reiya)
UMMM no.
216.
(Akuma)
Oh.
217.
(Evryn):
She sounds disappointed not to
be shiny and special.
218.
(Serleina)
I
don't think that's it. Remember how before she's said she was in Drepanon's
army?
219.
a) (Evryn)
I don't really want to think
about that, but—
b) (Sigyn)
Kind of makes it more
disturbing that she sleeps on a bed of ice.
220.
(Illybrius)
I believe it's a natural
lubricant.
221.
WT
a)
Akuma presses against Illybrius.
b)
Illybrius gently tugs at Akuma's bottomwear.
222.
(Akuma)
It will just slip right
off.
223.
(Evryn):
Dear god, tell me she’s not talking about the condom!
224.
(Reiya)
I think she missed the part
where the lubrication is on the OUTSIDE of the condom.
225.
(Drepanon)
Do EITHER of you read the White
Text slides?
226.
(Marie)
We try not to.
227.
(Akuma)
And umm... that's all. I
don't wear... you know.
228.
(Sigyn)
That's a little unsanitary.
229.
(Illybrius)
Nor do I. My pants have yet to
be removed.
230.
WT
Illybrius
winks.
231.
(Illybrius)
I would normally just tug them
down, but there's a bit of an obstacle.
232.
WT
a)
Illybrius blushes.
b)
Akuma reaches in to stroke him.
233.
(Akuma)
Really? I didn't notice.
234.
(Evryn):
That small?
235.
WT
Illybrius
closes his eyes blissfully.
236.
(Illybrius)
Ten and a half inches and you
didn't notice?
237.
(Akuma)
I was more concerned with
other things.
238.
(Evryn):
Like herself.
239.
WT
Akuma
strokes him faster.
240.
(Akuma)
However, I think I can help
if you want me to.
241.
(Illybrius)
Of course I want you.
242.
(Evryn):
You’ve been drinking too much
cooler water.
243.
(Sigyn)
Wait, aren't the Falcons
allergic to cooler water?
244.
(Evryn)
Hmm, come to think of it, it's
ALMOST LIKE Drepanon and Meta aren't really related to Illybrius!
245.
WT
a)
Illybrius lets out a purring growl and undoes the
next snap.
b)
Akuma stops stroking long enough to undo Illybrius's
pants and pulled them down.
246.
(Akuma)
Mmm... so big.
247.
WT
a)
Illybrius blushes, steps out of his pants, and kicks
them aside.
b)
Akuma is pressed against him. She rubs against him.
c)
Illybrius rubs back, attempting to be gentle.
248.
(Akuma)
I won't break. Don't be
afraid to touch me.
249.
(Evryn):
Why not? I’d certainly be afraid to touch
you. Weeaboo cooties and all that.
250.
(Reiya)
I don't think she knows how
vaginas work. Or maybe hers is made of glass.
251.
(Evryn):
That seems painful.
252.
(Reiya)
Presumably why Illybrius is
trying NOT to break it.
253.
(Evryn
laughs)
254.
WT
Akuma
nibbles on Illybrius's collarbone.
255.
(Akuma)
Please?
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