November 2, 2008; 7.00 PM
1 AKUMA
If I had known you would take Orion up
on his offer, I would have told you.
2 ILLYBRIUS stares blankly at Akuma
3 EPIPHANY
[You don't know him very well, do you?]
4 EVRYN
I think he prefers "knowing"
Orion.
5 AKUMA
It doesn’t matter now. I need another
blanket.
6 SIGYN
Well, that's understandable. Yours got
wet.
7 EPIPHANY
[Akuma
IS a wet blanket.]
8 AKUMA
WEHHHHHHHHHT.
9 ILLYBRIUS
It does matter, but it cannot be
changed.
10 AKUMA
No. What’s done is done. It’s over and
forgiven.
11 EPIPHANY
[Translation: Shut up! Stop arguing with me!]
12 ILLYBRIUS
I’ll try to recreate it when I’m sober.
13 AKUMA
You mean the bond?
14 EVRYN
No, the fucking studio building. It
needs to be re-built due to water damage. The fuck you think?
15 ILLYBRIUS
Yes.
16 enter ORION
17 ORION
I do believe we have a problem, Mr.
Falcon.
18 ILLYBRIUS
What?
19 EPIPHANY
[Akuma's angst levels have dropped dangerously low!]
[We need to boost them!]
20 OVD
Should have let her DROWN, ILLYBRIUS.
21 ILLYBRIUS
Well excuuuuuuuuuse me.
22 EPIPHANY, anger marks
[YOU
ARE NOT EXCUSED.]
23 ORION
I don’t think my sister can carry this
child.
24 EPIPHANY
[OH
MY FUCKING GOD]
[ IS
HE STILL ON ABOUT THAT?]
25 ILLYBRIUS
She’s a Meliara of Fertility. She can
choose to wish the child out of existence.
26 EPIPHANY
[Can
she wish the child into existence? Why can't she will the child into not
miscarrying?]
27 EVRYN
With Drakoste magic, she should be able
to.
28 EPIPHANY
[She
just doesn't WANT to.]
29 EVRYN
That, or Enzeru wangstmachine magic
cancels it out.
30 ORION
The child is bound to her magic, which
is gone, and with no bond, she can’t draw on anything. Not only that, it seems
with no bond, the child isn’t taking well.
31 EPIPHANY
[Translation: Shut up with your logical solutions and worry about her!]
32 ILLYBRIUS
I’m reaching out to her now. Akuma? Can
she feel me at all?
33 ORION
She can’t feel anything yet.
34 EPIPHANY
[WHY
ARE YOU TALKING FOR HER, ONION?]
35 ORION
Keep trying. Lee, if you had to choose,
would it be Akuma or the child? I must know.
36 MARIE
FUCK THE SHUT.
37 EPIPHANY
[ Is this REALLY the appropriate time for this?]
38 MARIE
No! It's NEVER the appropriate time for
this!
39 ILLYBRIUS
Akuma. I--I would choose Akuma to live
if it came to that.
40 SERLEINA high kicks
FOOLISH FOOL!
41 ORION
I will be certain to use everything,
should it come to that.
42 ILLYBRIUS
I--I adore you both. But damn it all to
hell, our lives are fucked up.
43 EPIPHANY
[ {you-dont-say.jpg} ]
44 OVD
Epiphany, watch the anachronisms. This is 2008.
45 EPIPHANY makes a fart
noise
46 OVD
What are you, five?
47 EVRYN
Six, actually. She's six. And you did
the same thing.
48a AKUMA
I can’t feel anything. It’s like I’m
trapped in my own head. This sucks.
48b EVRYN
Must be so lonely with your lack of
brain cells.
48c EPIPHANY
[something
something locked in syndrome something something]
[ I
don't even care right now.]
49 MARIE
If she really did have that, she
wouldn't be able to talk right now.
50 EPIPHANY
[And
that would be great.]
51 ILLYBRIUS, poking Akuma
Miss Akuma? Can you feel this?
52 AKUMA
No. I feel nothing.
53 CUE MUSIC: Zydrate Anatomy
54 ILLYBRIUS
I was reaching out for you. Damn.
55 ORION
Stop that, Akuma. You don’t need to lose
more blood.
56 EPIPHANY rolls eyes
[Just get her a full wangst transfusion.]
57 AKUMA
It’s your fault.
58 ILLYBRIUS
What for?
59 SIGYN
Yeah, why isn't it my fault for drowning
you?
60 EPIPHANY
[Why
isn't it Onion's fault for failing to tell Illybrius about this important thing
that he made up after the fact? Unless Corri planned ahead for this, which also
wouldn't surprise me, actually.]
61 EVRYN
If Corri plans ahead for anything, she
has no excuse to be this inconsistent.
62 AKUMA
He threw salt acid in my eyes and
blinded me during one of our battles. Because he made it with Enzeru magic, it
went to the soul to damage it.
63 EPIPHANY
[
It's salt. He made salt. With magic.]
64 SERLEINA
YO, TEAM CORRI! WHY SO SALTEOUS?
65 AKUMA
He destroyed my tear ducts.
66 EVRYN
Actually, that would be your tear GLANDS
that he destroyed. Tear ducts don’t work that way. Then again, I’m
not too sure about tear glands, but it seems more plausible. Epiphany, help me
out?
67 EPIPHANY
[Your tear ducts are the little tubes that allow tears to drain into your
sinuses. You can actually see the tops of them as small holes on the edges of
your eyelids towards the inner corner of the eye.]
[Without them, people would end up crying a lot more from too much
buildup of tears being produced at the normal rate required to keep the eyes
lubricated.]
[And
what you said about tear glands is exactly right.]
68 ORION
I said sorry.
69a AKUMA
Bite me.
69b. SIGYN
Didn’t Dural do enough of that during the
Pilot?
69c. AKUMA
I don’t want to talk about the Pilot.
70 USAGI
Cut it out. This is the LAST thing we
need right now. We’ve got a drunk host, a heartbroken god, an ass of a demon,
and a powerless pregnant goddess. AND the fucking studio flooded, so now we're
filming in the wasteland that is Niland.
71 REIYA?
At least it isn't Brawley.
72 USAGI
We need to figure out what the hell we’re
gonna do about this.
73 ORION
Nothing.
74 USAGI
Let’s have that “nothing” mean no
senseless bickering, too
75 ORION
As you wish.
76 ILLYBRIUS
Disaster. This is all a damn disaster.
77 AKUMA
Ik jinab fuq qudil.
78 EPIPHANY
[Who is Qudil and why is someone fucking them?]
79 ORION
Akuma, that won’t help.
80 AKUMA
Cockbite.
81 EVRYN
I don’t know but apparently Qudil bit
their cock.
82 ORION
Neither will that.
83 EPIPHANY
[Qudil must suck at sucking.]
84 EVRYN
And I'll bet they don't
even swallow.
85 ILLYBRIUS
Stop it, please.
86 EVRYN
Oh my gods! ILLYBRIUS is
Qudil!
87a ORION
And there she goes again. Not good.
87b. OREGANO
~There she goes again
Wiping the tears from her eyes~
88 EVRYN
It’s my job. I’m Commentary.
89 ILLYBRIUS
Akuma—
90 AKUMA
Go men Nazi, Kibito.
91 EPIPHANY
[NO.]
[NO BEING SORRY FOR NAZIS.]
[And I can't even put a good line here about burning you because ovens.]
[You suck.]
92 SIGYN
Yeah, but at least she doesn't bite cock.
93 DREPANON
Not since her discipline kicked in~
94 EVRYN
No, see, she's telling the
male Nazis to go forth and be tree people!
95 EPIPHANY
[. . . Can I hug you later?]
96 EVRYN
Of course!
97 ILLYBRIUS
Whatever for?
98 AKUMA
I am sorry for ever cursing you with
this burden.
99 EVRYN
If you’re talking about your existence,
you should apologize to ALL the gods.
100 EPIPHANY
[And if you're talking about my rigour mortis, it has nothing to do with
you.]
101 EVRYN
And if you're talking about
my sobriety, then GIVE MY FUCKING FLASK BACK, YOU DIPSHIT!
102 AKUMA
WUH! It's not my fault you weren't
paying attention and your flask sunk like the Titanic!
103 SIGYN
TOO SOON!
104 OREGANO
~ WE'RE GOING DOWN, DOWN, IN AN EARLIER
ROUND, AND SUGAR WE'RE GOING DOWN SWINGING~
105 ILLYBRIUS
What burden? Our situations are
difficult, but I have never considered you a burden.
106 EVRYN
Unlike literally everyone else on the
show.
107 EPIPHANY
[
I'm still counting this as telling Illybrius what he should be feeling.]
108 ILLYBRIUS
I merely consider my lack of ability to
do any damn thing a fucking nuisance.
109 AKUMA
My love is a burden. I should never have
told you.
110 EPIPHANY
[OH
FOR FUCK'S SAKE!]
111 ILLYBRIUS
Your love is not a burden.
112 AKUMA
I see it as such.
113 ORION
And if Lee saw it as such, he would tell
you. Now shut up and be happy.
114 EPIPHANY's jaw drops a little
[. . .]
[Who are you and what have you done with Onion?]
115 ILLYBRIUS
That’s a strange thing to tell a woman who’s
been through what she has in the past… all.
116 ORION
Well, she needs to know that you aren’t
going to leave her and that this is her final chance.
117 OREGANO
~it's the final countdown~
118 ORION
Even if my host wasn’t screaming at me to help
her, I would because, well, she reminds me of myself.
119 EPIPHANY
[Don't
you want to kill her?]
120 ORION
Don’t ask anymore.
121 EPIPHANY
[NO!
I WILL ask more!]
[Didn't
you ALSO rape her?]
[and
put her in a coma, knowing it could cause a stupid shiny magical miscarriage?]
[and
then blame Illybrius for all these things?]
122 EVRYN
If you ask me, Illybrius should have let
them both drown.
123 ILLYBRIUS
I do not ever abandon someone in need.
124 AKUMA
Thank you.
125 EVRYN
FUCK YOU IN THE FACE.
126 SIGYN
Don't, she might forget her discipline
and bite your, uhh, strap-on, I guess?
127 SERLEINA
That would be MY strap-on, thank yoooouuuu.
128 ORION
Done crying now? Good, drink.
129 ILLYBRIUS
Good idea. Where’d I put that bottle?
130 DREPANON
What bottle? I didn't take your bottle.
How very dare you accuse me of such a thing.
131 AKUMA
I don’t drink youko blood.
132a ORION
You do now.
132b. MARIE
You were earlier… weren’t you? I’m
pretty sure I remember the label changing in the stage direction.
132c. AKUMA
MUHHHHHHHHHHH.
133 ILLYBRIUS
Blood is good for you. Bottoms up.
134 AKUMA
No.
135a ORION
Hang on. She is going to drink this.
135b. SIGYN
Wow, you really *are* Meta’s best friend.
136 ILLYBRIUS
I don’t think it’s a good idea to force
her to do anything.
137 EVRYN
Maybe you should have told him that
before he raped her? Just a thought.
138 EPIPHANY
[ Idea: Let her know that, if she drinks it, she'll potentially be in
danger from the fox's comrades seeking retribution. She'll chug like a train.]
139 ORION
If she doesn’t drink this, the child is
in danger. Take your pick.
140 EPIPHANY
[Because Akuma has no agency and, thus, all decisions about her wellbeing
must be made by the men in her life.]
141 ILLYBRIUS
I’m not getting involved any further. Do
as you wish.
142 ORION
You should be involved. This is your
child.
143 SERLEINA
HINT HINT, SALOME!
144 EVRYN
Who the fuck is Salome?
145 OVD
Trust me. You DON'T want to know.
146 EVRYN
Whatever, she's probably just some drama
queen.
147 OVD
. . . I . . . Y-you. . .
148 EUGENIE
You have no idea, dearie.
149 AKUMA
No, I’m drinking it, okay?
150 EPIPHANY
[Maybe
it's the blood of some girl NAMED Youko?]
[ I
know some Beatles fans who would help out with that.]
151 EVRYN
Dude, if Vaan were here, this wouldn't
even be an issue.
152 SIGYN
If Vaan were here, there would be a whole
nother issue.
153 EVRYN
Oh. Right. You.
154 SIGYN
N--no! I meant, like, in Lucky when he
threatened to make her his mate?
155 EVRYN
Oh.
156 SIGYN
Vaan Sr. is hotter anyway.
157 ILLYBRIUS
Good.
158 EVRYN
Why, did you have dibs on Junior?
159 ILLYBRIUS, hurriedly
By the way, the combination of cola and
beer won’t cause one to throw up, will it?
160 AKUMA
I know you can have a whiskey and coke.
Speaking of which…
161 ORION
No.
162 AKUMA
Damn.
163 ILLYBRIUS
Then what the hell did I eat?
164 USAGI
Let me think… ABSINTHE?!
165 ORION
Pending nothing happens in two months
she will be past the danger period, then in four months you will have a child.
166 EPIPHANY
[Bullshit.]
[Akuma's always in danger.]
167 ILLYBRIUS
I… don’t want her to die.
168a SERLEINA
THAT MAKES EXACTLY ONE OF US. INCLUDING AKUMA.
168b. TOKIOMI
Two of us, if you count me.
168c. SERLEINA
Oh yeah. I keep forgetting she has a fan because the idea of Akuma
having fans is just so ricockulous.
169 ORION
If the child doesn’t take or drains her
too much, I promise I will abort the child for her safety.
170 ROSEMARY
Really?
171 EPIPHANY
[He's completely serious.]
172 EVRYN
Jealous, Ro? I know you wanted to abort
at least one of your kids, and having met them, I really don't blame you.
173 ROSEMARY
Maybe I am a bot, but I think Akuma
should be involved in the decision of whether or not to abort the child, and
that a medical professional, not a fuckdemon, should be the one to perform the
operation, if it is to be.
174 ORION
The first 48 hours are the worst because
you never know if the seed will take and hold.
175 EPIPHANY
[ I
would ask why she can't make that decision for herself, but then I remembered
that of COURSE she can't make decisions for herself and that's why there's
always another character to decide for her, every single time.]
176 SIGYN
As a lifestyle choice, that could be
okay, but in this case, no. It's just boring drama.
177 ORION
She could still lose the child at any
time now.
178 EPIPHANY
[Translation: So don't you DARE start worrying less!]
179 ORION
However, that is very dangerous.
180 EPIPHANY
[No shit.]
181 EUGENIE
I've built a brand new "However
Shame Corner". Go. Now.
182 ORION
Wuhhhhhh.
183 ORION, in the However Shame Corner
At this point, losing the child could
take her with it.
184 EPIPHANY
[nobody
cares anymore]
185 ROSEMARY
How are the living conditions?
186 EVRYN
He doesn't have to LIVE in the However
Shame Corner!
187 EUGENIE
Unless he keeps this up!
188 EVRYN
Come now, Mum, we all know he's a
Priapic demon. He can keep it up as long as he wants.
189 EUGENIE
. . . Right, so for each additional time
Orion uses the word "However," someone must point at him and yell,
"Shame!"
190 SIGYN
So, um, are all Priapic demons--
191 EVRYN
SIGYN WHAT THE FUCK DOES PRIAPUS MEAN.
192 SIGYN
Oh. Hmmm....
193 DREPANON
We grow into it with age.
194 ILLYBRIUS
I meant after the birth of the child. I don’t
want to lose Akuma.
195 ORION
By law, because she has no mate, then
the child is supposed to be killed after its birth. However--
196 PEOPLE
SHAME!
197 ORION
--should you still want them both, if
the child survives, I am sure Akuma will want to renew the bond.
198 EPIPHANY
[The contrived peril here is so cheap I think Corri must have
outsourced its manufacture overseas.]
199 ILLYBRIUS
The--what you told me earlier. It said
Akuma would die after the child’s birth.
200 ORION
It meant our fight. She would not
survive our next fight.
201 EPIPHANY
[ I don't remember that. I'm pretty sure you said earlier that Illybrius
would have to choose between her and the foetus.]
[Or, at least, heavily implied it.]
202 ORION
Don't ask me to keep my story straight!
How rude of you.
203 ILLYBRIUS
Then don’t fight. I love both of you.
204 EVRYN takes a shot
205 EPIPHANY
[WHY
THOUGH]
[WHY
AND HOW]
206 TOKIOMI
I don't get it. He's sleeping with both
of them, right? Why wouldn't he love them both?
207 ILLYBRIUS
I do not think I could bear losing
either of you.
208 ORION
You want us to ignore Fate?
209 EPIPHANY
[Translation: Shut up and stop offering reasonable solutions to the
problem!]
210 EVRYN
Why would you want to ignore Fate? That
game is amazing! I mean, the anime sucked, but--
211 ILLYBRIUS
I believe you can make your own fate.
212 EVRYN
Sort of, but there ARE 40 Bad Ends.
213 OREGANO
~GOTTA CATCH EM A-ALL!~
214 ILLYBRIUS
You are at peace now. Why not always?
215 ORION
By demon law, I cannot harm those with
child.
216 EPIPHANY
[You have a weird definition of demon.]
217 DREPANON
Hey, do I come into your realm and piss
all over your legislature?
218 SIGYN
Um, I've seen your Facebook posts. You do
exactly that.
219 DREPANON
No, I don't. You must be misinterpreting
my posts. And we're not friends on Facebook!
220 SIGYN
It's not my fault you keep your posts
public because you like the attention.
221 ORION
I would rather lose my place as general
than harm a child.
222 EPIPHANY
[So
about that coma earlier...]
223 ORION
Demon childer are rare. 1 out of every
200 survives.
224 SIGYN
UM. Hi. I'm dating a demon, whose father
is a demon, and possibly the actual devil, or at the very least, king of all
the demons.
225 DREPANON
Just the one realm, actually.
226 SIGYN
So believe me when I say that that was
all complete and utter BULLSHIT. Your statistics are stupid and you should feel
stupid.
227 EVRYN
Agreed, but can we discuss your taste in
men for a second?
228 SIGYN
What do you mean? My taste in men is
flawless. As are the men.
229 EVRYN
AARGLE RAARGLE! DEMONS! YOU JUST SAID!
DEMONS! AND THEIR DEMON DICKS!
230 CORRI
DIIIIIIID SOMEBODY SAY DEMON DICK?
231 SERLEINA
NO! SHE CLEARLY SAID "FLEA MARKET"! JEEZ, CORRI, WHY DON'T YOU
GET YOUR HEARING CHECKED?
232 CORRI
Oh...
233 [b][sadquit Corri][/b]
234 ILLYBRIUS
And afterwards?
235 ORION
Out of fifty of those that are born,
maybe two will survive if we are lucky.
236 EPIPHANY
[ Ignoring the fact that you just changed the mortality rate on the fly,
you have a high miscarriage rate and a high infant fatality rate.]
[Please tell me that the average demon pregnancy is like that of a nurse
shark.]
237 ORION
Demons do NOT have sex with nurse
sharks! How can you SAY that?!
238 EPIPHANY
[ I didn't, but good to know you always have bestiality on the mind.]
[A nurse shark starts with many fertilised eggs, but only gives birth to
one of them.]
[The foetuses are only given enough nutrition from the mother for them to
grow large enough to eat.]
[From that point on, they're forced to cannibalise each other or starve.]
239 ORION
What do I care about shark
fuh-too-sis-es?
240 EPIPHANY
[. . . You have zero reading comprehension skills, don’t you?]
241 ORION
I can't even READ! I have a CONDITION!
BAAAWWWWWWWWWW
242 EPIPHANY
[You can't read?]
243 ORION
Not in English
244 EPIPHANY looks at sign
[What language do you think I've been writing in?]
245 ORION
Epiphanese?
246 EPIPHANY's jaw drops a
little in disbelief.
[. . .]
[ I'm not sure if you're making fun of me for English being my third
language, or if you're just that stupid.]
247 ORION
SHUT UP! STOP POKING HOLES IN MY LOGIC!
248 EPIPHANY
[Well, that answers that, then.]
249 SIGYN
You know, with brains like that, you
could be the President.
250 ORION
Wait, who's the president now?
251 EVRYN
At the time of current setting or when
we’re editing this script?
252 ORION
Current setting.
253 EVRYN
George W. Bush.
254 ORION
Oh, okay, yeah, that's fair. I mean,
HEY! Okay, what about time of scriptification?
257 EVRYN
Donald Trump.
258 ORION
No, seriously.
259 EVRYN
...
260 ORION
Do you think just because I'm illiterate
that I don't watch TV? Because you're wrong. That's a joke from The Simpsons.
261 EVRYN
Yeah, not in 2019. But good news! If you
ever decide to be President after him, you'll already have a clear precedent
for your literacy level and intelligence!
262 ORION
SWEET, THANKS! Hey, Mama! I'm gonna be
the President of the United States!
263a. SERLEINA
TEXT MESSAGE!!!
263b. SERLEINA, phone pose
She says that's nice, but you're
still a failing failure who fails, especially if your best hope is rivalling
Donald Trump.
264 EPIPHANY
[ Is
anyone going to point out that he has as much of a chance of becoming the
President of the United States as I do?]
265 ORION
Not necessarily. You have to be age 35
and a citizen of the United States for a certain amount of years.
Chronologically I'm much older, and who knows how long I've been living here?
266 EPIPHANY
[Were
you or either of your parents born in the United States?]
267 ORION
No, stupid. I'm older than the United
States!
268 EPIPHANY
[Then
you can't be the President!]
269 ORION
What? No! No fair! I'd make a way better
president than Donald Trump!
270 EVRYN
True, but laws are laws, you know?
271 ORION
I guess someone should break the news to
Drepanon, then, that he can't run either.
272 DREPANON
You're aware that demons are adept at
forging documents to get around in your little human governments, right?
273 SIGYN
Seriously?! Then why the hell can't Meta
forge us a marriage certificate?
274 DREPANON
Because I asked him not to.
275 SIGYN
Why are you like this?
276 DREPANON
Why are you? You fall apart every
time you have to be away from him for more than a couple of hours. Who could
stand that? Who could stand you?
277. SIGYN
*reaction shot*
278 ILLYBRIUS
Orion. In the short time I have known
you, I have fallen in love with you.
279 EVRYN
Nice try, but they're not gonna let you
be the First... whatever you are.
280 ILLYBRIUS
Maharus. Hmm. I would be the first,
First Maharus.
281 DREPANON
Yeah, I'm not forging documents for
someone who can't even be bothered to learn to read, so good luck with that.
282 ILLYBRIUS
Thank you! Now to blackmail some
politicians into changing some laws in Orion's and my favor... Hmm, I'll need
to consult with Marigold Endicott. If anyone knows blackmail, it's Marigold.
Blackmail: Because you CAN always get what you want!
283 EPIPHANY
[ Is
somebody going to tell him what it takes to amend the Constitution?]
284 ILLYBRIUS
I was going to try magical date rape
pheromones, an Exordia Emporium, and a few well-placed memory spells. Why? Do
you have a better suggestion?
285 EVRYN
Yeah. Literally anything but that.
286 ILLYBRIUS
... I'll ask Marigold.
287 EVRYN
Another person whom I don't know who the
fuck she is.
288 SIGYN
Dude, she was on the show last month!
289 EVRYN
Let me guess, yet another drama queen?
290 EUGENIE
Technically, a drama princess regent. Or
dowager. I forgot the exact term. Gosh and golly, she's old.
291 EVRYN
Oh dear gods, where do you find these
people?
292a. SIGYN, proudly
I found them! How do you think I talked
OVD into PAYING me to watch the show?
292b. EVRYN
Didn’t he say he pays you in thoughts
and prayers?
293 REIYA
Evryn, how do you not remember who
Marigold is? She was in the Yali episode back in October.
294 SIGYN
As I said.
295 EVRYN
Must've been blackout sober that day.
296 ILLYBRIUS
However--
297 EUGENIE
Do you want to go into the Corner? I
don't think you want to go into the Corner.
298 ILLYBRIUS
NOBODY PUTS ILLYBRIUS IN THE CORNER!
299 SERLEINA
WANNA BET?
300 ILLYBRIUS
-- if you are in any way responsible for
Miss Akuma’s demise, I shall not stand by you.
301 ORION
I understand. But you do know it is our
fate.
302 EPIPHANY
[So,
what I'm hearing here is that Illybrius should just kill Onion now and save
himself the trouble.]
303 ORION
I am not meant to belong here and she
will want her brother back someday.
304 EPIPHANY
[See?]
305 ILLYBRIUS
Not all prophecies or scriptures come to
pass. I do not believe in a preordained fate. It’s choices. Trying to know what’s
in the future is a damn fool idea.
306 EPIPHANY
[ Illybrius rejects the functionality of Laplace's Demon because he
believes in a non-deterministic universe.]
307 EVRYN
Laplace?
308 EPIPHANY
[Pierre-Simon Laplace was a mathematician and astronomer who lived in the
18th and early 19th century.]
[He published the first articulation of causal determinism by positing
that, were there an intelligence that knew the location and momentum of every
particle in the universe at one instant, it could then use that data to
calculate all past and future states of the universe.]
[The intelligence described has since been named "Laplace's
Demon".]
[But
Laplace's Demon only works if the universe is deterministic.]
[Whether it is or not is unknown, and possibly unknowable]
309 ORION
Very well then. Akuma, do you understand
his wish?
310 AKUMA
Yes.
311 ORION
Kunno oui nautsi na sadi we.
312 AKUMA
Anata gretten buil grue yven.
313 EPIPHANY
[ I'm guessing they said "We are going to ignore it." and
"You didn't have to tell me."]
314 AKUMA
There. I made peace.
313 ILLYBRIUS
Merci, ma pomme.
314 ORION
As have I.
315 ILLYBRIUS
Thank you as well.
316 AKUMA
Ncyuxic.
317 ORION
Will you stop calling me that?
318 ILLYBRIUS
Aquarium log?
319 AKUMA
No. I called him a cockbite.
320 ORION
If you weren’t with child…
321 EVRYN
She’d bite your cock?
322 EPIPHANY
[Or he'd bite hers.]
323 EVRYN
Yes, or that.
324 AKUMA
Don't do that! It won't lay eggs if it's
bitten!
325 EPIPHANY
[Roosters don't lay eggs.]
326 AKUMA
But then why are there always little
colorful eggs with coins in them in its nest?
327 EVRYN giggles
328 ILLYBRIUS
*laughs* Stop arguing.
329 AKUMA
Sure.
330 ORION
Thank you.
331 AKUMA
Cockbite.
332 ILLYBRIUS
That is not stopping.
333 EPIPHANY
[ I'm starting to sense a pattern here.]
334 ORION
I’m going to get you some food. Sit.
Stay. Good bitch.
335 SERLEINA
ARF! Also, what did Illybrius JUST SAY.
336 exit ORION (Serleina:
Oh, okay, you’re just gonna stagequit. That’s REAL MATURE, ONION.)]
337 EPIPHANY
[Yep. Definitely a pattern.]
338 ILLYBRIUS
Owwww. I think I drank too much.
339 AKUMA
Six months if nothing happens, Lee.
340 ILLYBRIUS
Huh?
341 EPIPHANY
[She said, "Don't you dare start talking about your own
issues."]
342 AKUMA
If the child fully takes, it will be six
months before the child is born.
343 ILLYBRIUS
I know.
344 EPIPHANY
[That's
not how babies work at all whatsoever.]
345 EVRYN
Enjerus 'R' Diffint.
346 EPIPHANY
[ Is
she saying that the zygote doesn't implant in the uterus until some arbitrary
point and could be passed at any time before that?]
347 EVRYN
Epiphany?
348 EPIPHANY
[ I
know, I know.]
349 EVRYN
Diffint.
350 EPIPHANY
[BUT
STILL! THIS IS STUPID!]
351 SERLEINA
Stupid? THIS! IS!
352 SERLEINA, high kick
FOOLISH!
353 AKUMA
I’m… not ready for this.
354 SERLEINA kicks out her other leg
FOOLISH!
355 AKUMA falls into the Void
UWAAAAAHHHH!
356 ILLYBRIUS
I’m sorry.
357 AKUMA, covered in ink
It’s in the past.
358 EPIPHANY
[But
seriously, does that mean that for the first three months, it grows without
having a placenta?]
359 EVRYN
I don't have a Watsonian answer for that
one, so I'm moving on.
360 ILLYBRIUS
Oh my. I wish this water would hydrate
my system faster. I’m more emotional and… aroused… when drunk.
361 AKUMA
It takes me a long time to get drunk and
never lasts long. No hangovers, either.
362 ILLYBRIUS
Lucky.
363 AKUMA
Gifted.
364 SERLEINA, standing on Akuma's chest
FOOLISH.
365 SIGYN
I only ever get hungover when someone
slips me a mickey.
366 AKUMA
GREAT. THANKS FOR SHARING.
367 SIGYN
~Hey it's okay, it's okay, you're
welcome~!
--
Orion Sri-vaka created by Corri
Gonzalez, written by Corri Gonzalez and B. Falcon
Ending theme: A Demon's Fate
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