1. TITLE
At Least She Has Imaginary Friends, part 2
2.
6 Nov 08 | 12.47
PM | Akuma’s or Onion’s place
3.
USAGI
Hi, it’s Usagi and Cinnamon.
4.
CORRI
Hey, you!
5.
USAGI
So, you remember what Orion said to
Illybrius last installment, right?
6.
CORRI
And?
7.
USAGI
Dunno if you got the memo last night,
but he raped her again and we all freaked out.
8.
REIYA
What the fuck, Onion?
9.
EPIPHANY
[Believe
me, you'll stop getting surprised by that after a while.]
10.
EVRYN
It wasn't really rape. Akuma wanted
it. I know I shouldn't say that because it perpetuates a culture of misogyny
and rape-positive attitudes, but come on. It's Akuma. You KNOW she did.
11.
EPIPHANY
[I
gotta admit, it DOES seem kinda like they were just pandering to Corri's rape
fetish.]
12.
EVRYN
makes a face
Have I mentioned today how much I
despise having anything in common with Corri?
13.
SIGYN
Oh god damn it, why did you have to point
that out? Now I have to deal with having that in common with her, too.
14.
EPIPHANY
[I feel so sorry for you, Evryn.]
[Corri's
bad writing ruins everything.]
15.
EVRYN
Including this show. Y'know, Ted once
told me it'd be almost like an homage to Excel Saga if it weren't for her and
her stupid socks.
16.
USAGI
Any idea who the memorial stones are
for?
17.
EVRYN
Since when does Orion have any REAL
stones to commemorate?
18.
EPIPHANY
[He's
commemorating his newly-installed Neuticles.]
19.
EVRYN
What's a Neuticle?
20.
EPIPHANY
[Fake
testicles for your dog.]
21.
EVRYN
Nice.
22.
CORRI
Well, the two are for the two
daughters Akuma lost after Lee raped her.
23.
EPIPHANY
[ONION
did that. And YOU made him!]
24.
CORRI
Don’t know about the other one. And Orion
barely touched her.
25.
EVRYN
That's... not what we heard.
26.
CORRI
Left a few bruises, and scratched and
tore her clothes to shreds, but she’s fine.
27.
EPIPHANY
[I'm
sorry, could you please do that line again, but more flippant?]
28.
OVD
Epiphany, don't ask your co-workers to do impossible
things.
29.
EVRYN
Why not? Team Corri asks impossible
things of Team Falcon all the time.
30.
CINNAMON
So it was just a show. What in the
hell was he trying to prove?
31.
USAGI
Duh, that he couldn’t and shouldn’t be loved.
32.
EPIPHANY
[Wait,
he raped someone to prove how emo he is?]
33.
SIGYN
Yeah, that makes sense!
34.
EPIPHANY
[.
. . ]
35.
TOKIOMI
In case you were wondering, that was not
sarcasm.
36.
EPIPHANY
[As
I surmised.]
37.
CORRI
I don’t know.
38.
ROSEMARY
Of course you don't. You deny
everything, like the rude bot you are.
39.
EPIPHANY
[Couldn't
he just wear heavy makeup and listen to crappy music?]
40.
EVRYN,
deadpan
He already tried that. It didn't
work, so he resorted to rape.
41.
SIGYN
Excuse you, She Wants Revenge, Emilie Autumn,
and Marilyn Manson are not "crappy music."
42.
EPIPHANY,
ignoring that.
[Completely
skipped over the adhesive wrist scars?]
43.
EVRYN
No, no, he already has the scars from
back when Maheone decided to ragequit their friendship.
44.
EPIPHANY
[He
couldn't just throw himself in front of a car or something?]
45.
OVD
Not according to his contract.
46.
EPIPHANY
[I
could push him in front of a car.]
47.
OVD
*starts laughing*
48.
CORRI
Hey, Orion. GET OVER HERE!
49.
EPIPHANY
[NO.]
[HE
HAS TOO MUCH SCREENTIME AS IT IS.]
50.
EVRYN
smirks
Hence why I locked him in the broom
closet before we went on the air.
51. EPIPHANY high-fives Evryn
52.
CINNAMON
Oh, fuck.
53.
CORRI
Whoops. Sorry about that.
54.
EPIPHANY
[No
you aren't.]
55.
EVRYN
Wait, what is she not sorry about?
I'm confused.
56.
EPIPHANY
[I don't know, actually.]
[But
since it's Corri apologising, I'm forced to assume it's insincere.]
57.
EVRYN
True. Carry on, then.
58. USAGI picks up book, looks at cover.
59.
USAGI
“Demons in the Spring”? Cinnamon, you’ve got some strange taste in books.
60.
CINNAMON
I didn’t check that out. I thought you did.
61.
CORRI
Damn. He’s too busy to talk right
now. He’s helping with the stones.
62.
EPIPHANY
[No, he's in the broom closet.]
[Way
to passive-aggressively yank the subject back to you and your threadbare socks,
though.]
63.
CINNAMON
Thank effing gods. He’s not one of my
favorite people, or demons, or whatever right now.
64.
EPIPHANY
[Nobody
likes Orion]
65.
SERLEINA
TEXT
MESSAGE!
66.
EPIPHANY
[Is
it Onion's mom?]
67.
SERLEINA
Yes. Not only has she got it going on, but she agrees with you,
Doc.
68.
CORRI
Yeah. I don’t think Akuma is too happy with him
either—
69.
EPIPHANY
[YOU
DON'T SAY?]
70.
CORRI
—even if she did save his life last
night.
71.
EPIPHANY
[Nobody
cares about Akuma]
72.
TOKIOMI
How rude! *I* care about Akuma!
73.
EPIPHANY
[Nobody ^except Tokiomi cares about Akuma]
[And Lee, I guess.]
[For
some reason.]
74.
DREPANON,
offstage
I have a few creative ideas.
75.
EVRYN
If it's about the fact that Akuma
shags him, it's not creative.
76.
DREPANON,
offstage
Aww. I thought I was clever for a
second.
77.
EPIPHANY
and ROSEMARY
*laugh*
78.
ROSEMARY
You are not a man who is clever.
79.
CINNAMON
Yeah, well, I wouldn’t be either, given the circumstances.
‘Sagi, if it wasn’t you, who in the hell got this book?
80.
USAGI
Don’t ask me. Who checked out “All the Sad Young Literary Men”?
81.
CINNAMON
Oh, that one’s mine.
82.
CORRI
Well, if that is all you wanted…
83.
EPIPHANY
[Translation:
You stopped talking about me! Q_Q]
84.
USAGI
Lee’s been so shattered, I been walking
on eggshells.
85.
EPIPHANY
[Don't we walk on eggshells around him ALL the time?]
[Well,
don't you guys, rather?]
86.
SIGYN
I don't.
87.
CINNAMON
Can’t even sing anything from frikkin
Disney.
88.
EVRYN
You tried singing Disney to him? Good
God, no wonder he flipped out!
89.
CINNAMON
*sighs* Well, it’ll get better sometime, right? How’re you doing? How’s Jake?
90.
EPIPHANY
[Who
the fuck is Jake?]
91.
REIYA
A Random Dusk, I assume.
92.
CORRI
I’m doing good.
93.
EVRYN
No, you’re doing WELL. Actually, no. You really aren’t.
94.
CORRI
Jake’s better.
95.
EVRYN
It’s hard not to be better than you.
96.
CORRI
Right now, though, I’ll be staying here with Akuma, Orion,
and Drake because, well…
97.
EPIPHANY
[Nobody
except your imaginary friends want to be around you.]
98.
USAGI
Yeah.
99.
CORRI
It’s complicated.
100. EPIPHANY
[No,
it really isn't.]
101. EVRYN
It's complicated to her because she
can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to be around her stupid Corri Sues.
102. USAGI
We get it. I do; I dunno what bubblehead’s thinking.
103. CORRI
Well, the only reason I am here is—
104. EVRYN
To facilitate drama and cheap wangst?
105. CORRI
—because Akuma refuses to speak to
Orion, and the only time she speaks to Drake is to fight with him.
106. EVRYN
Close enough.
107.
enter
ILLYBRIUS
108. ILLYBRIUS
If you’re done with your childish prattle,
do let’s leave and go
do something entertaining.
109. EPIPHANY
[I agree.]
[Both of you get out of my sight.]
[They
don't pay me half enough to deal with you idiots]
110. OVD
Epiphany, usually you are not allowed to kick your
coworkers off the stage. But today I concur.
111. CORRI
Ergo ire vasne, Lee. Ummm… not good. I’ll be back later, I guess.
112. EVRYN
Don’t rush.
113. EPIPHANY
[Get
hit by a bus while you're out.]
114. OVD
You do realise she'd have to get better by the next
episode?
115. EPIPHANY
[What do
you mean she can't come into work tomorrow if she's in a full body cast?]
[Where's her
dedication?]
116. OVD
She's just an actress, Epiphany. Let it go.
117. EPIPHANY pouts
ENDING SONG: Corri singing Let It Go, off-key
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please share your thoughts....