Episode 95.2 - The Anubis Episode, part 1 | November 10, 2008 at 7:20 p.m.

 1.                 TITLE

The Anubis Episode, part 1

 

2.                 SETTING

The Realm of the Dead

 

3.                 Mon, Nov 10 2008, 7:20 PM

 

4.                 AKUMA

Having fun, Irubura?

 

5.                 SIGYN

Not as much fun as you are, apparently.

 

6.                 ILLYBRIUS

Good evening!

 

7.                 AKUMA

You and him having fun?

 

8.                 EPIPHANY

[Having fun doing WHAT?]

 

9.                 EVRYN

Illybrius and Maheone were having sex.

 

10.              ILLYBRIUS

Yes

 

11.              EPIPHANY e_e

[Ugh.]

 

12.              AKUMA

Good. I'm glad.

 

13.              MARIE

Are you, though?

 

14.              EVRYN

No, because Fake!Maheone is the Wrong Corri Sock.

 

15.              ILLYBRIUS

How are you?

 

16.              AKUMA

Sore.

 

17.              ILLYBRIUS

I'm sorry.

 

18.              AKUMA

Not your fault.

 

19.              ILLYBRIUS

Doesn't mean I can't be sorry.

 

20.              MARIE

Doesn't mean she's looking for sympathy.

 

21.              EPIPHANY

[IT'S AKUMA! She wants to be pitied at all times.]

 

22.              MARIE

Okay, yes, Corri normally imposes hardship on Akuma for shallow angst and to monopolize narrative focus. But I find Akuma's side of this exchange relatable when I take it out of context, and I'll project about it if I want to.

 

23.              AKUMA

I did what I thought was right.

 

24.              EPIPHANY

[You mean distracting a healer on purpose to prevent her from saving your life?]

 

25.              ILLYBRIUS

Are you recovering well from being risen?

 

26.              AKUMA

There were… complications.

 

27.              ILLYBRIUS

What sort of complications?

 

28.              EVRYN

She did a Sigyn.

 

29.              SIGYN

Excuse me?! WHAT did you say?

 

30.              DREPANON

It's very simple. It means she irritated all the gods of the dead so much that they want her the hell out of their realm, if you'll forgive the pun.

 

31.              AKUMA

How long have I been gone?

 

32.              ILLYBRIUS

A day.

 

33.              AKUMA

Really?

 

34.              ILLYBRIUS

Yes.

 

35.              AKUMA

Lee. It's been ten years here.

 

36.              DREPANON

Yes, I'm sure it feels that way for the rest of the Realm of the Dead, too.

 

37.              EPIPHANY

[This is why she's coming back two days early, our time.]

 

38.              SIGYN

Excuse me.

 

39.              [exit SIGYN — TRIGGER QUIT]

 

40.              SIGYN, offstage

THANKS, SERLEINA.

 

41.              SERLEINA

I feel like that was sarcasm, but I don't understand why.

 

42.              ILLYBRIUS

What happened?

 

43.              AKUMA

The lapis… shattered when the knife hit it. Larlia managed to get moth of it 

 

44.              MARIE

Moth of it, you say?

 

45.              AKUMA

Most!

 

46.              MARIE

Nope, there's lapis moths now. I make the rules.

 

47.              AKUMA

but the damage caused by shattering…

 

48.              ILLYBRIUS

…was permanent?

 

49.              AKUMA

We aren't sure yet. I can only move my left arm for now, so…

 

50.              EPIPHANY

[You seem to be moving your mouth just fine.]

 

51.              ILLYBRIUS

Oh. I hope you recover quickly. Although, since you have the use of your left arm—

 

52.              AKUMA

Lee. It's not looking good.

 

53.              EVRYN

I love when Akuma refers to itself in third person.

 

54.              ILLYBRIUS

What can I do to help?

 

55.              AKUMA

We don't know yet. Right now, they are just trying to get out all the pieces. Sorry for taking so long.

 

56.              ILLYBRIUS

It's alright. Don't rush yourself.

 

57.              AKUMA

I won't. I miss you. And everyone else.

 

58.              ILLYBRIUS

I miss you too!

 

59.              EPIPHANY

[whyyyyyyyy]

 

60.              AKUMA

How are they?

 

61.              CINNAMON

Bored, and Bastion's kinda pissy. Haven't talked to Corri since you left.

 

62.              AKUMA

Bastion will take care of her.

 

63.              CINNAMON

I mean, Bastion doesn't know you died, but he's pissy because he refuses to believe he's Rubéhaus. I assume Corri's doing fine or someone woulda felt something.

 

64.              AKUMA

Understandable.

 

65.              CINNAMON

Under—how? I mean, if you're feeling up to it, can you explain it, because it's a concept I can't grasp.

 

66.              AKUMA

People don't want to acknowledge what they can't understand or don't want to understand. It could be out of his comfort zone.

 

67.              CINNAMON

He was fine with it till recently.

 

68.              AKUMA

Some things… change people. It's complicated and—*chokes*

 

69.              ILLYBRIUS

Miss Akuma?

 

70.              AKUMA

Sorry. Aftereffects.

 

71.              EPIPHANY

[Her lungs also feed directly into her heart and GI tract.]

 

72.              DREPANON

Remember, Enzerus are "diffint".

 

73.              EPIPHANY

[She's ACTUALLY more of a mess on the inside than she is on the outside!]

 

74.              CINNAMON

I get that things change people, but I have no idea what could have changed him…. But, he is, and Lee is sure of it, so he's just going to have to come around sometime soon. Won't force him, obviously, but… 

 

75.              CINNAMON hands Akuma tea and chocolate

 

76.              CINNAMON

To soothe and make stuff better

 

77.              AKUMA

I know. You sure?

 

78.              CINNAMON

Yes. Your recovery comes before ANYTHING.

 

79.              ILLYBRIUS 

… *sigh* If you can teleport, try to get to Purity

 

80.              BLAKE DANCES WITH CHARACTER SHILLING

She can't leave.

 

81.              EVRYN

Ah jeez, not you again.

 

82.              ILLYBRIUS

Very well, then. She must recover.

 

83.              AKUMA

Blake's no fun.

 

84.              ILLYBRIUS

No, but he is practical.

 

85.              BLAKE DANCES WITH CHARACTER SHILLING

Look, Anubis is having a hard enough time keeping you in one piece. You. Will. Stay.

 

86.              EPIPHANY

[That's not actually Anubis's job.]

 

87.              DREPANON

Akuma MADE it Anubis's job to coddle her. Are you beginning to understand why they're sending her back 66.6% earlier than they said they would?

 

88.              EPIPHANY

[So if Akuma doesn't stay put in the lobby, Blake is getting fed to Ammit.]

 

89.              AKUMA

Fine

 

90.              ILLYBRIUS cuddles Akuma gently

You'll be alright.

 

91.              AKUMA

I can barely feel you.

 

92.              ILLYBRIUS

But you can feel me.

 

93.              AKUMA

It's like an echo of feeling. The Realm of the Dead is a bit far.

 

94.              EVRYN

Yes, the Realm of the Dead is a bit far from where we usually film, but stop pretending we're not all in the same place.

 

95.              OVD

Yes, these visitor's passes were expensive! Thankfully, I happen to know a gal who used to date Charon. 

 

96.              EVRYN

Wait, I thought we got the discount because of Epi's connections!

 

97.              EPIPHANY

[… Not this time.]

 

98.              OVD

Trust me, you don't want to meet Charon's ex. She's… well, she's a lot like… Shit, he hasn't debuted yet, has he… Just take my word for it: She's pompous and insufferable.

 

99.              CIN

I like her already.

 

100.          ILLYBRIUS

I know.

 

101.          AKUMA

I-is Impare okay?

 

102.          ILLYBRIUS

I have not spoken with him.

 

103.          AKUMA

When it happened… he screamed… and he cried… for me.

 

104.          ILLYBRIUS

I have not seen him since yesterday.

 

105.          AKUMA

He knew… that I wouldn't make it.

 

106.          EPIPHANY

[Welcome to the ranks of the Undead. ZA meetings are held on Tuesday nights at the funeral home on Fourth St.]

 

107.          EVRYN

What's ZA stand for?

 

108.          EPIPHANY

[Zombies Anonymous]

 

109.          EVRYN

But… none of us are anonymous! And what happened to you taking offense at the word "zombie"?

 

110.          EPIPHANY

[We're taking back the word.]

 

111.          ILLYBRIUS

He… knew?

 

112.          AKUMA

I think so. Blake was gone and he didn't want me to be alone…

 

113.          ILLYBRIUS

Maheone…