Monday, November 10, 2008

Episode 95.1 - How Orion Became a Demon and Other Inconsistencies, part 1 | November 10, 2008 at 7:00 p.m.

 1.                 TITLE

How Orion Became a Demon and Other Inconsistencies, part 3

 

2.                 SETTING

Orion's room

 

3.                 Mon, Nov 10, 2008 at 7.00 PM

 

4.                 LIGHTS OUT and the following is heard

 

5.            (Orion)

Fine. "By" this time...

 

6.            WT

Orion rolls Illybrius onto his back

 

7.            (Orion)

We do it my way.

 

8.            (Serleina)

BURGER KING! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!

 

9.            (Reiya)

Can we consider the highway instead?

 

10.          (Illybrius)

Of course.

 

11.    CUE MUSIC: HIGHWAY TO HELL

 

12.          (Taha)

Hell yeah!! That's a great song to snort cocaine and get blown too!!

 

13.          (Sykes)

I was actually just listening to that earlier, that's hilarious.

 

14.          WT

Orion slides in

 

15.          (Serleina)

TO THE CORNER BOOTH!

 

16.          (Orion)

Damn... How the hell do you stay so fucking tight?

 

17.          (Marie)

Gee. Maybe because you didn't do any preparation at all whatsoever.

 

18.          (Taha)

"What!?? Not even LUBE!??? My ass hurts just seeing this!!!" 

 

19.          (Riley)

"Shhhh there's lube it's just invisible. Use your IMAGINATION!" 

 

20.         (Illybrius)

*purrs*

 

21.          (Reiya)

That answers everything!

 

22.         WT

Orion starts thrusting into Illybrius slowly

 

23.         (Taha)

I'm still imagining the friction and I think I'd sound more like a pterodactyl pooping

 

24.         (Winter)

Backwards poop job EY!!!!

 

25.         (Evryn)

I wasn't sure this scene could get more disgusting, but here we are.

 

26.         (Illybrius)

You are teasing me, Master.

 

27.         WT

a.   Illybrius smiles delightedly, nuzzling Orion.

b.   Orion nuzzles Illybrius's neck, kissing him gently.

 

28.         (Orion)

No. I... am loving you.

 

29.         (Evryn) 

Glug

 

30.         (Taha)

If THAT'S what you want to call it? Why is there so much talking?

 

31.          (Riley)

You don't talk while fucking?

 

32.         (Taha)

Not this fucking awkwardly!!

 

33.         (Winter)

I'm getting sleepy.... Is this sex?

 

34.         (Orion)

Please let me?

 

35.         (Evryn)

Somehow I didn't know edging was a form of love.

 

36.         SIGYN & DREPANON

It can be.

 

37.         (Reiya)

If you squint.

 

38.         (Marie)

Only if the other person's actually into it.

 

39.         (Sigyn)

I had assumed that went without saying.

 

40.         (Marie)

... Not in this scene. It has Onion in it.

 

41.          (Orion)

*sigh* Never mind.

 

42.         WT

Illybrius sighs delightedly

 

43.         (Illybrius)

I love you.

 

44.         (Evryn)

Glug.

 

45.         (Illybrius)

I love what you do to me.

 

46.         (Evryn)

Still counts! Glug.

 

47.         (Sigyn, triumphantly)

I guess he's into it, then!

 

48.         (Marie)

... Okay...

 

49.         WT

Illybrius kisses Orion back.

 

50.         (Orion)

I know I am not the best person to show things... but... this is the only way I know how.

 

51.          (Reiya)

Gee. Perhaps you should try opening a b— wait...

 

52.         (Evryn)

An audiobook, perhaps?

 

53.         (Reiya)

Yes, that.

 

54.         (Marie)

Have you ever considered a PowerPoint presentation? You know, with a lot of pictures?

 

55.         (Sigyn)

Kinky!

 

56.         (Drepanon)

... it can be...

 

57.         (Winter)

Yup! So kinky it'll work just like NyQuil and knock a bitch out!!

 

58.         (Sigyn)

Unconscious boys can't say no!

 

59.         WT

Orion kisses Illybrius softly on the lips

 

60.         (Orion)

I... can't give you anything more...

 

61.          (Evryn)

What about all that shit you promised Usagi in the Pilot? Does Illybrius just not get that because he's actually your partner and it's ~tragic and romantic~?

 

62.         (Reiya)

I wasn't there that day.

 

63.         (Evryn)

He said, "If you ever change your mind, young Rabbit, and wish for a better master—"

 

64.         (Sigyn)

*giggles*

 

65.         (Evryn)

—"who would love you and give you your heart's desire, just call for Orion." Of course, he also didn't specify that that would be him; he went on to say, "We have plenty of Masters that would love to have you as a companion and you would be treated like royalty."

 

66.         (Reiya)

1) That's highly questionable.

 

67.         (Evryn)

Everything Onion says is highly questionable.

 

68.         (Reiya)

True. But 2) I actually can't think of anyone Onion could be referring to, that he might offer to hook Usagi up with.

 

69.         (Evryn)

He was probably trying to buy Usagi as a sex slave for the demon harem he is or was in.

 

70.         (Reiya)

Of course.

 

71.          (Illybrius)

I know. It's alright.

 

72.         (Reiya)

Why would that be alright?!

 

73.         (Illybrius)

It's a valuable service to the community, okay?

 

74.         (Reiya)

Really.

 

75.         (Illybrius)

Yes, really. Servicing the community is a valuable community service.

 

76.         (Désmoda)

That's what she said! No, really. I have a client who said that. I can't tell you more because of confidentiality.

 

77.         (Orion)

Speaking of which, when we're done, do you think you could sign my time sheet?

 

78.         (Evryn)

How the fuck do demons get community service if they don't have trials?

 

79.         (Orion)

Oh, we only get raped and executed without trial for serious shit. This is because I stole something from the King.

 

80.         (Sigyn)

What did you steal?

 

81.          (Orion)

... underpants.

 

82.         (Evryn)

WHY?

 

83.         (Sigyn)

Why not?

 

84.         (Drepanon)

I'd never recommend you for community service. You'd enjoy it too much.

 

85.         (Sigyn)

Hmph. Sadist.

 

86.         (Drepanon)

ACTUALLY, I'm a switch.

 

87.         (Désmoda)

Interesting...

 

88.         (Marie)

Isn't it possible to be both?

 

89.         (Lena)

Yes, but guys like him always say "Actuallyyyyy" and then contribute something of limited intellectual worth.

 

90.         OVD

Can we get back to the show now?

 

91.          (Evryn)

Oh come on, we've waited over ten years to produce this. Our fans can wait a bit longer.

 

92.         OVD

We don't HAVE ANY FANS.

 

93.         (Marie)

Are you sure?

 

94.         WT

a.   Illybrius kisses Orion back gently, loving his taste.

b.   Orion "thurst" into Illybrius slowly

 

95.         (Winter)

Oh, oh, it's getting somewhere.... NOPE! 

 

96.         (Riley)

Imagine trying to get off to such slow boring friction? Honestly who taught this guy how to fuck?!! A turtle??!

 

97.         (Taha)

No, they're more interesting. They'll like fall back and go all AAH MY DICK IS STUCK SAVE ME!! I'VE FALLEN ON MY SHELL AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!

 

98.         (Sigyn)

Wow. Good to know you've fucked a turtle.

 

99.         (Taha)

No, I watched them fuck! Jeez I'm not that big of a pervert!!

 

100.      (Evryn)

Well, on this show, you never know.

 

101.       (Orion)

I care for you. I never... would have given up everything to stay here with you if I didn't.

 

102.      (Reiya)

Suddenly, pericoital guilt trip!

 

103.      (Sigyn)

The best kind.

 

104.      (Drepanon)

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or if you're actually serious. Either way, what the fuck?

 

105.      (Sigyn)

That's kind of the point of my entire characterization. I'm like Schrödinger's Creeper. If Prod gets hate mail about me, or if too many people start trying to emulate me, they can claim I'm just trolling everyone. Conversely, if a storyline needs me to be completely serious to showcase the consequences, I can do that, too. I'm very versatile. Like you, a switch.

 

106.      (Drepanon)

... that was a rhetorical question.

 

107.      (Reiya)

Bless your heart, pussums.

 

108.      (Evryn)

*sporfles* That has got to be the worst term of endearment—

 

109.      (Reiya)

No, the worst I've ever heard is "cabbage".

 

110.       (Evryn)

Ew, cabbage. Cabbage is disgusting.

 

111.        (Illybrius)

I've got a cousin named Cabbage.

 

112.       (Evryn)

Her parents owe her an apology.

 

113.       (Illybrius)

Her parents owe everyone an apology.

 

114.       (Reiya)

That naming convention you guys have for girls is really weird. It's like, what happens if someone comes up and asks for Leek?

 

115.       (Illybrius)

Her husband asks if they're a plumber.

 

116.       WT

Illybrius caresses Orion

 

117.       (Illybrius)

Orion, my beloved Orion.

 

118.       (Orion)

Illybrius...

 

119.       (Ahrry)

AHRRY! UNF!

 

120.      (Reiya)

That is the correct response.

 

121.       WT

Orion nuzzles Illybrius's cheek and then kisses him.

 

122.      (Orion)

I... Lir viru bein.

 

123.      (Evryn)

Is that anything like a lima bean? I hate lima beans.

 

124.      (Serleina)

OH YEAH? WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?

 

125.      (Evryn)

SHE STOOD UP MY SISTER ON PROM NIGHT, OKAY? SOME OF US TAKE A LONGER TIME TO PROCESS TRAGEDIES AND I'm done being Anita, sorry about that.

 

126.      WT

Illybrius chokes up.

 

127.      (Illybrius)

That's... so moving...

 

128.      (Orion)

I... shouldn't have... stolen her sister's date... on prom night...

 

129.      WT

Orion turns away

 

130.      (Orion)

I...am sorry-not-sorry for hijacking my own dialogue, Corri.

 

131.       (Illybrius)

My sweet, I do not understand your native tongue.

 

132.      (Evryn)

Then why did you choke up?

 

133.      (Illybrius)

IDKLOL. Maybe it had something to do with your TOTALLY LEGITIMATE AND NOT AT ALL WHINY CHILDISH BABY LOSER sob story!

 

134.      (Anita)

DID SOMEONE SAY "ANITA TANSHEN"?

 

135.      (Illybrius)

Akuma does, constantly, why? Wait, never mind, I found something better to— mmm.

 

136.      WT

Illybrius kisses Orion's lips gently, adoring him.

 

137.      (Illybrius)

Mmm. You taste good.

 

138.      (Drepanon)

You sound like me when Marigold asks about her cooking.

 

139.      (Evryn)

You eating either of those is not something we need to hear about. Ever.

 

140.      (Sigyn)

Marigold isn't a bad cook.

 

141.       (Evryn)

Just a mediocre one, and that's roughly the same thing.

 

142.      (Orion)

I... said this to you before... during my punishment...

 

143.      WT

a.   Orion kisses Illybrius on the tip of his nose.

b.   Illybrius purrs and snuggles up to Orion.

c.   Orion reaches down to stroke Illybrius.

 

144.      (Orion)

Do you... want to know?

 

145.      (Illybrius)

If you want to tell me. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

 

146.      (Orion)

Dude, I'm trying to get you to unlock my Tragic Backstory, okay? Work with me.

 

147.      WT

Illybrius sighs happily.

 

148.      (Illybrius)

That feels so, mmm.

 

149.      WT

Orion strokes Illybrius faster and buries his face in Illybrius's neck.

 

150.      (Orion)

I said...

 

151.       WT

Illybrius moans and arches, stroking Orion's hair.

 

152.      (Illybrius)

Hmmm?

 

153.      (Orion)

I love you.

 

154.      (Evryn)

Glug and glug! Thank you, Onion.

 

155.      (Orion)

Oh, like you need an excuse to drink, you lush.

 

156.      (Evryn)

Your face gives me all the excuse I need, pussums.

 

157.      (Illybrius)

I love you.

 

158.      (Evryn)

Glug!

 

159.      WT

Illybrius nuzzles the top of Orion's head.

 

160.      (Orion)

I need... close...

 

161.       WT

Illybrius presses down on Orion

 

162.      (Illybrius)

Better?

 

163.      (Orion)

I need to cum are you...

 

164.      (Evryn)

Much like you, that non-sentence needs to be taken out into the woods and shot.

 

165.      (Winter)

Understanding Morgul is less brain cells combustion inducing 

 

166.      (Illybrius)

Close.

 

167.      WT

a.   Illybrius clenches and unclenches around Orion

b.   Orion shudders and cums in Illybrius while still stroking him.

 

168.      (Illybrius)

Ohhh. AKUMA'S BACK!

 

169.      AKUMA

HERE I COME TO WRECK THE MOOD~!

 

170.      REIYA and EVRYN

YAAAAAAYYYY!

 

171.       (Evryn)

Hi, Akuma! Jolly good to, well, I can't actually see you, but—


172.       [LIGHTS ON, to show Akuma]

 

173.       EVRYN

Oh! Now I can. Cheers!

 

174.       AKUMA

*happy noise*

 

175.       ORION

I see.

 

176.       ILLYBRIUS

Mm-hmm, me too.

 

177.       EVRYN

You know, the fact that you guys can't see anything during Lights Out scenes, either, maybe means you shouldn't participate in them.

 

178.       ILLYBRIUS

What are you talking about? I'm 19.

 

179.       EVRYN

Onion is—

 

180.       REIYA

TOTALLY ALSO 19. Or 18 at the very least!

 

181.       EVRYN

...whatever you have to say to get this through ratings.

 

182.       ORION

Are you, did you cum too?

 

183.       REIYA

Shouldn't you be able to tell?

 

184.       EPIPHANY, riding in on her Tol Mode spidey-chair, totally not through a sea of cum (animate this from left to center), looking down at the TOTALLY JUST A BUNCH OF SPILLED MILK, OKAY, disapprovingly

[Corri's priorities here are obvious.]

 

185.       EVRYN

Ew, I hope your chair is self-cleaning.

 

186.       ILLYBRIUS

... Cin, can I have your ear for a moment?

 

187.       CIN, offstage

The correct answer is, "Yes, baby, you were wonderful."

 

188.       ILLYBRIUS

What she said.

 

189.       DREPANON

I worry for your fiancé.

 

190.       CIN

Not that I've ever done that. 

 

191.       DREPANON

Not that you'd admit to it if you did.

 

192.       CIN

Kind of ruins the point, doesn't it?

 

193.       ORION

Good.

 

194.       ILLYBRIUS

You're amazing. You really are.

 

195.       CIN

Okay, he BOUGHT it. You don't need to keep selling it.

 

196.       ORION

Thank you, Kio. I try.

 

197.       CIN

Not very hard, from what I heard.

 

198.       ORION

Now let's get some info then. And maybe a mop. I don't know who the fuck was drinking almond milk but you slobs need to clean up after yourselves, okay?

 

199.       EPIPHANY, Santa Claus Scowl

[Stop saying sensible things I agree with.]

 

200.       ILLYBRIUS

Mm-hmm.

 

201.       ORION

And you should rest. We can do more in a bit, okay?

 

202.       SIGYN, with a milk moustache

Por favor, señor, tome un Viagra y supérelo.

 

203.       DREPANON, still in the Audience, looking down at his ruined moccasins

What the fuck.

 

204.       SIGYN

I told him to—

 

205.       DREPANON, dabbing at his shoes with a paper towel

Yes, I know what you told him. My question is "why"?

 

206.       SIGYN

...

 

207.       DREPANON

...

 

208.       SIGYN

That's rhetorical, isn't it?

 

209.       DREPANON

No, I genuinely want to know why, in the nine worlds, you would want to subject yourself and everyone else in this room to more of that.

 

210.       SIGYN

Oh. Good point.

 

211.       ILLYBRIUS purrs happily, nearly half-asleep.

 

212.       EPIPHANY, still looking down

[That boring, huh?]

 

213.       DREPANON

I certainly thought so.

 

214.       EPIPHANY

[No-one cares what you thot.]

 

215.       SIGYN

Remember that discussion we had about being graded on your first drafts?

 

216.       EPIPHANY

[I spelled that correctly.]

[Warmy.]

 

217.       EVRYN

Well, you know what they say about unconscious boys.

 

218.       SIGYN

Hell yeah I do.

 

219.       SIGYN and DESMODA ^5

 

220.       ORION

I'm on bottom next.

 

221.       EVRYN

Of course you are, lazybones.

 

222.       EPIPHANY

[Corri's priorities here are ^still obvious.]

 

223.       WINTER

Oooohh THAT'S why this is so boring! He's a bitch playing Dom! How cute ... 

 

224.       CIN, with a mop

Nice. So, Bastion, Usagi, Lee, and I were getting ready to have an orgy—

 

225.       REIYA

WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD?!

 

226.       CIN

Oh sweetie, don't take it so hard. Unlike me. You're just... such an easy target!

 

227.       LENA

#TRIGGERED.

 

228.       REIYA

I can't tell if you're on my side or not.

 

229.       LENA

I'M ON NO-ONE'S SIDE EXCEPT TUUUUMMMMMBBBBLLLLUUUHHHHHH!

 

230.       CIN

And I'd said I wanted to be on the bottom of the pile.

 

231.       SERLEINA

Hey, that would be pretty impressive, if you could bench-press all three of them at the same time!

 

232.       CIN

Two. One would have to act as a spotter. Responsible lifting, and all that.

 

233.       SERLEINA

RESPONSIBLE IS FOR NERRRRRRRDS.

 

234.       CIN

And I'm a straight-A student.

 

235.       SERLEINA

Oh. Right. NERRRRD!

 

236.       ORION

Good for you. Go away, Cin.

 

237.       SERLEINA

NO U!

 

238.       EVRYN

I thought you wanted someone to clean up the almond milk?

 

239.       CIN, still with a mop, =D

You're no fun~

 

240.       ORION

Now or you're next.

 

241.       CIN

... I wouldn't mind.

 

242.       ORION

I like it when you bleed.

 

243.       REIYA

UNCLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!

 

244.       CIN

Yes, that's what the mop is for.

 

245.       EVRYN

Yeah, you really have to watch your phrasing when you're talking to girls, Onion.

 

246.       ORION

Sure you want to?

 

247.       EVRYN

She didn't say she wanted to, she said she wouldn't mind.

 

248.       DREPANON

What's the difference?

 

249.       EVRYN facepalms

 

250.       CIN

Orion. I just called quits on my vow of celibacy. OF COURSE I want to, but don't tell my fiancé.

 

251.       SIGYN

Are you sure you should—

 

252.       CIN

I'm sure he'd be kinda pissed.

 

253.       SIGYN

Shouldn't you—

 

254.       ORION

Sorry. Women don't have much I like.

 

255.       REIYA

Then why did you offer?

 

256.       ORION

That was meant to be a threat, not an offer.

 

257.       EVRYN

That's stupid. You're stupid.

 

258.       EPIPHANY

[What else is new?]

 

259.       SIGYN

Wait, plot hole.

 

260.       EVRYN

Bold of you to assume we have a plot— shut up, OVD.

 

261.       SIGYN

Akuma once said Onion never turns down a bedmate. And hasn't he raped her like a hundred times?

 

262.       ORION

Key word: "rape".

 

263.       SIGYN

Not that I condone what Cinnamon's doing, since she should either ask Bastion for an open relationship or break up with him before screwing someone else. But still.

 

264.       ORION

—but I will remember should you ever offer again.

 

265.       EVRYN

She's offering now, dipple-dangle.

 

266.       EPIPHANY rolls eyes

[Turned off the instant she makes it clear she isn't going to say no?]

[You are so predictable it hurts.]

 

267.       CIN

Doesn't matter either way, but remember I'm available if Usagi and Lee aren't.

 

268.       ORION

You have a deal. I always need a bedmate.

 

269.       EPIPHANY

[Didn't you just]

 

270.       EPIPHANY'S TAM smacks Orion with the sign.

 

271.       EVRYN

But if you always need a bedmate then why are you turning one down, you chump?

 

272.       ONION

If you were starving and someone was offering you liver and onions—

 

273.       SIGYN

DUDE. Lena, can I —

 

274.       LENA

WOMEN ARE NOT A PRODUCT TO BE CONSUMED!

 

275.       DREPANON

But in context—

 

276.       SERLEINA

*AIRHORN NOISE!*

 

277.       DREPANON

But—

 

278.       SERLEINA

NO-ONE WANTS TO GIVE YOU THE SATISFACTION— PUT YOUR HAND DOWN, AUDIENCE.

 

279.       EPIPHANY, =D

[butts]

 

280.       REIYA

Maybe he's too embarrassed to admit he can't get it up right now.

 

281.       DREPANON

Refractory periods are nothing to be ashamed of.

 

282.       SIGYN

Sure, if you're like 40.

 

283.       DREPANON

... I'm 38.

 

284.       SIGYN

Be ashamed. Be very ashamed.

 

285.       EVRYN

To be entirely fair, he's actually "stupid thousand and 38" years old.

 

286.       SIGYN

... I mean.

 

287.       CINNAMON

I know.

 

288.       ORION

Good.

 

289.       CINNAMON

By the way, I was a sex slave for about a year. I know a bit of the protocol. Bye now.

 

290.       [exit CINNAMON]

 

291.       ILLYBRIUS curls up into a ball

Ori, pet me?

 

292.       ORION holds Illybrius close and strokes his hair

What's wrong?

 

293.       ILLYBRIUS

Nothing. I was craving your touch. *purrs* Well, to be honest, I'm worried about Miss Akuma, and I don't much like that my counterpart propositioned you.

 

294.       ORION

Don't worry. I won't unless I have your *choke, gag* permission.

 

295.       EVRYN

Oh my gods he just chagged.

 

296.       TAHA

Did a random cock just fall from the sky and into his mouth?

 

297.       ILLYBRIUS

If I can't be there, Usagi, and if he's not there, then her.

 

298.       ORION

Agreed, Pet.

 

299.       EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

300.       WINTER

It really is adorable. Look Mason the bitch has a bitch!! Isn't it cute!!

 

301.       MASON

I'm trying NOT to see this. And now I have! Can someone come spoon my eyes out? I no longer want them!!!

 

302.       ILLYBRIUS purrs

I love it when you call me that.

 

303.       ORION

I know, Pet.

 

304.       EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

305.       ILLYBRIUS smiles, nearly swoons

 

306.       ILLYBRIUS

My Master. I love you, Master Orion.

 

307.       EVRYN takes a shot

 

308.       ORION

And I you, Pet.

 

309.       EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

310.       ORION

How is she faring?

 

311.       ILLYBRIUS

They are trying to get out all the pieces of lapis, which shattered with the blade; Larlia managed to get most of it out, but parts of it stuck. Miss Akuma can only use her left hand.

 

312.       ORION

Damn.

 

313.       EVRYN

I mock her and her lack of ambidexterity.

 

314.       ILLYBRIUS

I trust her to let me know if there's anything that can be done to help. I'm somewhat worried, but I can only believe she'll be alright. I refuse to believe anything else.

 

315.       ORION

I know, Pet.

 

316.       EPIPHANY zaps Orion

[Come on. My button finger is getting stiff.]

 

317.       ORION

Are you hitting on me?

 

318.       EPIPHANY

[HELL NO!]

[Your lack of reading comprehension is disturbing.]

 

319.       EVRYN

Just like 90% of the guys on OkCupid!

 

320.       ORION, to Illybrius

She's strong. She'll pull through.

 

321.       [enter CINNAMON]

 

322.       ILLYBRIUS

I know. 

 

323.       ORION 

It would be best if nothing was said to anyone about her being here, Pet.

 

324.       EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

325.       ILLYBRIUS

Why?

 

326.       ORION

Because it would not be good for people to know anything. It could hurt her.

 

327.       EVRYN

Knowledge causes her pain? That explains so much! Hey, OVD? May I bring my set of Encyclopedia Britannicas to her house?

 

328.       OVD

Yes.

 

329.       EVRYN

Excellent!

 

330.       ORION

It could hurt her recovery.

 

331.       MARIE

🎵Look how much we caaaaaaaare🎵

 

332.       ORION

She might feel that they need her and she would leave, and not be fully healed leaving her open for attack.

 

333.       EPIPHANY

[Why can't we just let her get killed again by her own stupidity?]

 

334.       SIGYN

Yeah, you know, I think the same thing about—

 

335.       OVD

Because that would be too satisfying for the relatively-sane people on this show.

 

336.       CINNAMON

I may be an insufferable gossip, but I know when to keep quiet.

 

337.       ORION

One could only hope.

 

338.       CINNAMON blows raspberry

 

339.       ORION

Don't make offers around me, please.

 

340.       CINNAMON

Why, because you're likely to take me up on them?

 

341.       EVRYN

He literally turned DOWN your offer just a few minutes— ugh, does NO-ONE on this show have an attention span?!

 

342.       ORION

No. Because you'll make my Pet mad.

 

343.       EPIPHANY zaps Orion

 

344.       SIGYN

Technically, that's not an "I don't want to", though.

 

345.       DESMODA

Hey, if you ever need a new job, I'm looking for a paralegal.

 

346.       CINNAMON

Won't. We can have a threesome.

 

347.       ILLYBRIUS

She's more likely to make her fiancé mad, though.

 

348.       ORION, suddenly wearing a trilby

I like women, but only mate with men. Women are to be respected.

 

349.       EVRYN

You just implied that mating with someone is a form of disrespect.

 

350.       EPIPHANY

[That's the only kind of mating Corri cares about.]

 

351.       EVRYN

Wow, that's incredibly stupid.  She obviously doesn't know much about mating, then.

 

352.       SIGYN

Wait! What about all those times he raped Akuma?!

 

353.       DREPANON

... do you think I can have my hat—

 

354.       ONION

NO, MINE! ... Milady.

 

355.       CINNAMON arches eyebrow

Uh-huh.

 

356.       EVRYN

What? A virgin can't know more about sex than Corri?

 

357.       OVD

In today's society, it's entirely possible for a virgin to know more about sex than Corri.

 

358.       SERLEINA

Wait, when do they start pronouncing it "in-cel"? 

 

359.       SERLEINA, "Is This a Pigeon" pose

Is this an anachronism?

 

360.       OVD

That's not how that meme goes! You're using it wrong... in the past!

 

361.       SIGYN

Wait, Onion gets laid, though. How is he an incel?

 

362.       EVRYN

Because rape doesn't count.

 

363.       SIGYN

...

 

364.       EVRYN

Do you understand, or?

 

365.       SIGYN

The individual words... but it's kind of like that tree dropping in an empty forest thing, you know?

 

366.       WINTER

I lied, I am entertained! I'm so entertained!! Don't touch pussy, it's disrespectful!!! And then you have disrespectful babies and .....

 

367.       WINTER trying to keep a straight face is now dying of laughter. 

 

368.       TAHA

Yeah, you know when I want to disrespect someone I just fuck em in the ass!!

 

369.       RILEY

Like the turtle?

 

370.       MASON

Bold of you to assume he fucks anything in the ass at all

 

371.       TAHA

I hate all of you

 

372.       CINNAMON, =D

I heard what happened—you know what, never mind. You boys have fun.

 

373.       ORION 

Where is Usagi, anyway? Normally he is bitching me out.

 

374.       EPIPHANY

[What, do you miss him?]

 

375.       DREPANON

He probably gets off on being "bitched out".

 

376.       SERLEINA

YOU WOULD KNOW~

 

377.       ILLYBRIUS

Fucking Rubéhaus.

 

378.       ORION

Ah. Oh well. 

 

379.       SIGYN

Ew. WHY?!

 

380.       EVERYONE just stares at her for a second

 

381.       ORION

Now, punish me, please?

 

382.       ILLYBRIUS 

What for?

 

383.       EVRYN

Erm... theft?

 

384.       ORION

I... feel like I failed the both of you. Please... do this for me?

 

385.       EPIPHANY rolls eyes

[Here we go again. . . .]

 

386.       ILLYBRIUS

No! You have done nothing wrong! 

 

387.       DREPANON

Objection.

 

388.       ILLYBRIUS

GO FUCK YOURSELF.

 

389.       SERLEINA

"Objection" overruled. "Go fuck yourself" sustai— PUT YOUR HAND DOWN, AUDIENCE.

 

390.       OVD

... I give up. From now on, let's just drink whenever she says something anachronistic. Remember, it's November 2008. Not 2018.

 

391.       ILLYBRIUS

Ori, you haven't failed us.

 

392.       ORION

Illybrius please.... Please?

 

393.       ILLYBRIUS hands Orion a butt plug and some oil

 

394.       ILLYBRIUS

Fine, but I won't be harsh. Just put it in.

 

395.       EVRYN

How romantic.

 

396.       EPIPHANY

[EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW]

 

397. [age quit Epiphany]

 

398.       ORION

I...have a request... Master.

 

399.       ILLYBRIUS

Ask.

 

400.       ORION

I... have a paddle... in my toy box... please?

 

401.       SERLEINA

HELLZ YEAH! LET'S PLAY PING-PONG!

 

402.       ILLYBRIUS blushes

I—I really am no good at playing master—

 

403.       ORION

Please... I need this, Illybrius. Please...

 

404.       EVRYN

Bloody hell. Here we go again.

 

405.       OREGANO

🎵 HERE I GO, AGAIN ON MY OWN 🎵 

 

406.       MASON

Put this bitch in a cage and leave him there. INDEFINITELY!

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